Catharsis
by deleria
Summary: When Kenshin's guilt won't let him leave Rakuninmura, Kaoru finds herself drawn to the emotional wounds of a man consumed with revenge. Confused by her altruistic gestures, Enishi lets his guard down. His heart latches onto her. Enishi Kaoru
1. prologue :: malefaction

**warning:** This fic is based on the manga and contains major spoilers for the Jinchuu Arc.

**author's note:** This fanfiction is an alt. pairing/alt. ending fic based on the manga. It's basically the result of the question: **_"What would happen if Kenshin never left Rakuninmura?"_** Since we all know that Kenshin DID leave Rakuninmura the fact that he doesn't in this fanfiction can only mean one thing: Kenshin is out-of-character. But he's only OOC due to his depression lasting a few days longer than it did in cannon. I do my very best to keep all of the characters 'in character.'

Save for the prologue below, this fic occurs shortly after the events of chapter 214 of volume 24 ("Enishi's Lapse"). Later chapters assume that the events of chapter 224 of volume 25 ("Reality") never happened.

This fic assumes that Oibore's attempts to reach Kenshin ended in failure, and therefore, he never "came to his senses" in time to save Yahiko and eventually confront Enishi.

**disclaimer:** I do not own Rurouni Kenshin. I never claimed to own Rurouni Kenshin. I wish I owned Rurouni Kenshin. Then maybe I could pay off my mortgage and quit my job or something cool like that. Alas, I cannot. I'm only a fanfiction writer and I do this sort of thing just for fun. Watsuki Nobuhiro, Jump Comics, Shueisha, Sony Picture Entertainment, Fuji Television, Media Blasters and Viz Comics own the right to make money off Rurouni Kenshin.

Bummer.

* * *

**Catharsis**

**malefaction  
**.:prologue:.

* * *

The gentle squeak of a door opening down the hall instantly stilled their conversation. Both men paused, waiting and listening. Seconds later, the floorboards groaned in confirmation. The girl was awake. 

Sighing tiredly, Enishi ran a hand through his disheveled white hair. He was in no mood to deal with a frightened girl. Or a weepy one, for that matter. He just wanted to send his lackeys away and get some much needed rest. His body was beyond tired.

"It seems you didn't use enough chloroform," Gein whispered, his eyes dancing behind his skull mask. "Somehow I'm not surprised. She's about the same age as your sister—"

Eyes narrowed and expression tight, Enishi cut him off with a withering glare. He was in no mood to discuss why the girl was suddenly awake when they had expected her to sleep for at least another four to six hours. The girl had to be dealt with before she wandered too far.

Enishi dismissed Gein with a gesture before moving to intercept the girl. He spotted her just as she stepped beyond the threshold of the house, a shocked gasp stealing her breath as she took in the view before her.

Ocean. Miles and miles of _ocean..._

Expression impassive, Enishi stepped beyond the threshold as well. "It's no use trying to run away."

She spun around at the sound of his voice, blue eyes fierce, teeth bared and thin arms raised for battle... with a _vase_ for a weapon. If it had been any other time or situation, Enishi would have laughed. Instead, he found himself suddenly struck by the strangeness of her. She wasn't at all what he expected.

Where was her grace? Her calm? Kaoru Kamiya didn't even stand like his sister. She seemed hard where nee-san seemed soft.

Kamiya was a tomboy. Nee-san was a lady. One was an antithesis of the other.

_'Why her?'_

They regarded each other silently. He could feel her gaze move over his body, taking in his obvious fatigue and recently bandaged injuries. Her lips parted soundlessly as she eyed his arm held secure in a sling.

'_She's a pretty girl,_' Enishi thought, noting the anxious flush of her cheeks and intelligent alertness of her eyes as she sought out his weaknesses. _'But not like nee-san._'

"This is a deserted island," he began, voice course. "My organization uses it as a relay station to ship goods by sea to Tokyo. It's at least twenty kilometers to the nearest island and the waters are infested with sharks."

She swallowed hard, but said nothing. Pushing an errant lock behind her ear, she gave his words her full attention.

"On top of that," he continued, "except for the inlet you see before you, it's all sheer vertical precipice. Aside from the weekly ferry, no one can get in or out."

Kamiya glanced behind her, showing Enishi her profile.

"In short," he said, "this island is a natural prison."

He stepped past her then, walking a few feet from where she stood and gazed out over the ocean. It was almost over. All the pain, the nightmares, the rage...

It was almost over.

"You'll just have to be patient," he said without looking at her. "Sooner or later, I'll send you home. Back to Tokyo."

She said nothing for several seconds. He felt her gaze fixed upon his face, her expression still even as her hand clenched at the white fabric of her robe. He was certain she was only a few heartbeats away from crying. Breathing deeply, he waited for the inevitable.

"How soon will that be?" she asked, her voice steady.

He looked at her and saw the raw concern in her eyes. Concern for _him_. A predatory smirk lifted his features, _'As soon as Battousai dies...' _

Kamiya swallowed hard, waiting.

"Well," he said finally, "not long."

His answer did nothing to deflate her worry and he was glad. Neither spoke for several seconds as the ocean played with the shore. He felt her move closer to him and knew she was gathering her courage.

"Just tell me one thing," she said, voice still amazingly calm. "Why didn't you kill me? I was certain that I'd be killed..."

Silence was her only immediate reply. Enishi could only stare at her and wonder once more. Why her? Why did Battousai choose _her_ as a replacement for his sister? The Kamiya girl was most certainly attractive. Heart-shaped face, lovely mouth, long black hair and bright blue eyes. She had already surprised him by not sobbing or begging. She treaded carefully around him, but not so much as to be completely passive. He knew that she would fight him if necessary. Most women would simply submit.

Nee-san, for all of her beauty and intelligence, was a lady first. Kamiya dressed in men's clothing and taught kendo. Her hands were small and calloused. Nee-san's hands had been small and soft.

Bone-weary, Enishi turned away from the girl and started toward the house. He would have plenty of time to consider the Kamiya girl after a much needed nap.

Her eyes bore holes in his back as he reached to pull open the door. He still hadn't answered her question. Nor did he want to. The simple fact was his jinchuu would be far more effective if he had killed the girl in front of Battousai. Himura deserved to feel the torment of being unable to stop the slaughter of someone dear. That would be true justice.

Standing in the doorway, Enishi peered at the crux of his Jinchuu and finally answered the question in the only way he felt comfortable.

"That's not something we ever need to discuss."


	2. chapter one :: albatross

**Disclaimer: **I bought the rights to Rurouni Kenshin just last week! Did I mention that I have some really nice beach-front property in Florida for sale? Very inexpensive!

-

* * *

**Catharsis**

**albatross  
**.:chapter one:.

* * *

The memory of Tomoe wouldn't come to him anymore. Only bloodied glimpses of her last moments of life filled his mind. Her beauty before death eluded his thoughts.

Try as he might, he could not see her. The more he tried to remember her face, her voice, her scent... the more iniquity choked his very soul.

So consumed with condemnation, his body had grown numb to everything around him. No longer was he aware of the old man sitting beside him. Nor could he smell the scent of white plums as it wafted in the breeze.

Angry shouts contrasted against gentle weeping, but such sounds fell on deaf ears. Dull, violet eyes stared at nothing as a frightened girl stood before him. He didn't see the quiver of her hands. Nor was he aware of the expression of shock as she looked upon his pathetic form. Even when she stood before him, her voice strained from fear and desperation, he could only think of his sins, his failures and feel the growing void within.

_'If my death will bring you peace, I will gladly give it to you, Tomoe...'_

• • •

"Please, Kenshin-san!" The girl begged, tears rolling down her cheeks unchecked as trembling hands tried in vain to wipe them away. "Please help Yahiko-kun!"

If the samurai heard her, he gave no indication. His eyes remained fixed and unfocused.

Tsubame bit her lip and felt the residents of Rakuninmura press around her, their angry shouts setting her nerves on fire. Time was short. Heart pounding hard in her chest, Tsubame gathered her courage.

"Th-that giant was coming," she said, willing her voice to steady and failing miserably. "He… he was coming to k-kill you. B-but Yahiko-kun," Tsubame glanced at the angry faces around her, "He can't fight him alone."

There was not even a tremor of movement from the samurai.

Swallowing hard, Tsubame reached out to Kenshin. Her fingers barely grazed the crown of his head as she begged, "Please get up. Please save Yahiko-kun..."

Old, calloused fingers gripped her hand in a gentle embrace. "It's no use, child," the elderly man sitting next to Kenshin said in an exhausted voice. "I'm sorry."

"But--"

Eyes full of compassion, he tenderly squeezed her hand. "My child," he said, voice painfully kind. "This man is consumed with the past. As long as he continues to live in the past, he will never leave Rakuninmura."

"But people _need_ him!" she blurted out, pulling her fingers from his grip. The boldness of her words and rudeness of her actions was surprising even to herself.

The old man considered her for a moment, and then sighed, "His body is here, but his mind is not. There is nothing you can do."

The sliver of control that held Tsubame together trembled under a renewed onslaught of fear. Yahiko wouldn't last much longer against Kujiranami. He could be already dead. Tsubame pushed back against her fear and willed herself to be calm. "Kenshin-san has never let us down before," she whispered brokenly.

The old man offered her a sympathetic look as he carefully pushed himself up. "Kuma," he said, catching the eye of a man standing only a few feet from Tsubame. "Could you please escort this young lady out for me?"

With a nod of acknowledgment, Kuma moved forward and gripped Tsubame's shoulder. His touch was gentle, but she still flinched from the contact. She felt his fingers squeeze, then pull, and a strained cry escaped her lips. Miserable, she submitted to Kuma's unspoken command to turn away from the samurai in mourning without a word. She followed him in a daze, her mind in a whirl of confusion and worry. Through the chaos and fear, one thought roared to the forefront of her mind. '_Yahiko will die if Kenshin doesn't help him. I have to _do_ something!_'

Pulling away from Kuma, she ran back to her last best hope. "Kenshin-san!" she pleaded, her voice taking on a shrill quality. "You must get up! You must get up right now! **_Please!_**"

Panic threatened to overwhelm her into hysterics when she felt Kuma tug her arm impatiently. She knew she wasn't supposed to tell him about Kaoru, but she didn't know what else to do. Surely if he knew, he would come to his senses. He would get up. He would save Yahiko.

"You have to get up, Kenshin-san," she rushed out as she pulled against Kuma. "You have to get up because Kaoru-san needs you, too! We all need you!"

The samurai remained still. His eyes as lifeless and unresponsive as that of a toy doll.

"Kaoru is still alive! She needs you. We need you, Kenshin-san!"

Nothing. No reaction.

_'No..!'_

So certain was she that the good news about Kaoru would snap him out of his stupor, that his lack of reaction felt like a physical blow to her midsection. She collapsed to the ground, one hand clutching at her chest as the other shakily supported her weight. She was barely aware of the arm that wrapped around her shoulders and pulled her into a gentle hug. The offer of comfort did nothing to stop the tears.

"Please help Yahiko-kun..." she mumbled pathetically. "He'll die if you don't help him..."

• • •

It still hurt to swallow. It would probably hurt for at least a day. Maybe two. She didn't have to see the bruises to know they were there. The place where his thumb had been hurt the most.

A deceptively delicate hand snaked up to rub the sore places tenderly. She swallowed on reflex and winced. Sighing in defeat, Kaoru allowed her hand to drop to her side as she focused on stirring the shirumono. Steam rose from the simmering pot of soup, filling the kitchen with the warm smells of home.

_'Kenshin...'_

Her lips trembled downward for a split second before stubbornness straightened them out again. She had to be strong. Kenshin would come for her. Worrying wouldn't help the situation. It would only distract her and she needed to stay alert. Especially around Enishi.

Lifting the wooden spoon to her lips, she took a taste test. An eyebrow quirked up. It wasn't bad. It wasn't great, either. At least not '_Megumi-great_,' but Kenshin wouldn't complain about it. He always ate her food.

Kaoru sighed at the direction of her thoughts. Everything always came back to him. What was the point in resisting the inevitable? Worrying about Kenshin was what she _did_. No matter how she tried to distract herself, thoughts of him still came.

He would come for her, of that she was certain. Even if he thought she might be dead, he would still come. Kaoru had faith in him. She had faith in the kind of man that he was. He had never let her down when she needed him most. He would come. The fact that he hadn't only fueled her fears that something terrible was wrong. He could be hurt or sick. Or perhaps something happened to his ship as he sailed to the island. The longer it took for him to arrive, the more certain she was that something was wrong.

Kaoru watched the shirumono swirl as she stirred. Surely if Kenshin was dead, Enishi would be gloating about it. He wasn't. In fact, Enishi hadn't said anything at all about his precious Jinchuu in days. Kaoru didn't know if she should feel comforted by that or not. The need to go to Kenshin was a tangible ache. Her failed attempt to escape for a second time was an extension of that ache. If she had been thinking more clearly, perhaps she would have tried another way. Confronting Enishi with the intent to take him hostage armed only with a broken broom handle was foolish. _Extremely_ foolish.

She shivered, remembering the wild look in Enishi's eyes when he tried to strangle her. He'd been so determined, so focused. Rage crested around him...

...and then he blinked... and his eyes had changed...

Right at the brink of her passing out from lack of air, Enishi stopped. His whole body went rigid. Eyes wide, face pale, he stumbled away from her. In that one moment, he had been afraid. Horrified.

At himself.

Was she lucky to be alive? Was Enishi capable of killing her?

_'No.'_

Kaoru's brows knitted together at the certainty in her heart.

No, he would not... _could not_ harm her. Of that, Kaoru was absolutely certain. The memory of Tomoe was protecting her. For that reason, she wasn't afraid of him. At least not when it came to her safety. Even after his attempt to strangle her, she felt no fear. Nervousness. Unease. But not fear. Not the fear she felt the night he fought Kenshin.

_'Because of Tomoe,' _she told herself. _'He can't hurt me because of his love for his sister. His soul is too deeply scarred...'_

That was why she was cooking for them both. It was her way of extending a hand of friendship and compassion. If she could find some way to soften that part of him, perhaps she could escape.

It sounded preposterous. Especially in light of the kind of person that Enishi was, but what else could she do? Enishi was the essence of vengeance and pity. Within all that rage existed an open wound of pure hurt. Against someone like Kenshin, the rage was a shield. Against her, the rage was merely a scab.

If Enishi was truly a monster, she would be dead. The fact that she still lived was testimony to the shred of humanity that still survived inside of him. Andif Enishi felt love so deeply that he was still hurting after so long, he wasn't beyond help.

After all, jinchuu was, by its very nature, an attempt to heal the wounds of the past. If Kaoru could remind Enishi of his humanity and get him to think of her as a person and not a means to an end, then perhaps the desperate need for Jinchuu would begin to lessen. Perhaps he would let her go.

'_But without Tomoe's diary, I have no way to get past his defenses... I can't do much more than be nice to him. I hope that's enough..._'

Sighing, Kaoru forced her attention back to the meal she was preparing. It should be done. Lifting the spoon to her lips, she took another taste test and winced. She overcooked it.

_'Maybe I can fix it...'_

With that thought in mind, she quickly busied herself selecting herbs and vegetables she hoped would mask the taste.

• • •

Jaw clenched, Enishi said nothing when he heard her step out onto the balcony. He didn't look at her, his eyes stubbornly focused on the horizon as he pointedly ignored her. He didn't want to see her and had expected her to avoid him after their confrontation. It bothered him to have her near. Almost to the point of annoyance. The fact that she had sought him out was a curiousity, but not so much that he felt the need to acknowledge her.

His posture remained guardedly relaxed as she approached him. Her movements paused and he expected her to speak. She didn't. Instead, he heard her place something on a table behind him before turning to leave. His curiousity piqued, he glanced over his shoulder to see what she had done and was caught off-guard by what he saw.

'_Dinner?'_

"What are you doing?" he asked, voice curt.

"Nothing," she said, pausing in her steps. "Only if you're cooking for one, you might as well cook for two."

He didn't reply.

"You've barely eaten anything since you've been here," Kamiya explained with a half shrug. "I know I'm the only one who uses the kitchen, so... eat up." She pointed at the meal for emphasis before turning away.

He didn't react. His suspicious nature wouldn't let him.

She moved toward the door again with the intent to leave. As she pulled open the door to exit, she paused, "And you can do your own dishes."

With that, she was gone.

Enishi frowned. This was totally unexpected. What would possess her to even bother cooking for him? No one had ever voluntarily cooked for him since he was a child. Curious, he eyed the neatly presented meal patiently waiting for his consumption. The façade of indifference did not waiver as he inhaled the warm smell of the soup. Memories of Tomoe filled his mind, reminding him of bittersweet days. _'You must be hungry,' _his sister said to him,_ 'Wait a minute, I was just making dinner...' _Softness warmed Enishi's heart as he remembered her words. He loved it when she cooked for him. It always made him feel loved. Special.

After Akira's death, she stopped cooking. Everything stopped. Nee-san would sit and stare at nothing for hours... and the look on her face... the sadness... No matter what he said or how he tried, her features never lifted. He was powerless to help her and that hurt. Almost more than he could bear.

And then one morning, she was gone. The note she left behind explained her actions easily, but Enishi couldn't do as she asked and stay behind. Not when she was going to do something so dangerous. He couldn't risk losing her. She was everything to him. He _needed_ her. Enishi only saw her once more after she left the family. She had cooked for him that day, too, but by then, she was calling herself Tomoe Himura.

Eying the bowl of soup in his hand, Enishi did his best to ignore the way the warmth seeping into his flesh felt like home. He didn't expect Kamiya to be so disconcerting. She was nothing like he expected. Even after he tried to kill her -- _wanted_ to kill her -- she wasn't afraid of him.

And now she was cooking for him. Was she trying to win his favor?

Enishi smirked. Yes. That had to be it. She was trying to kill him with kindness. Goad his guilt.

Well, her actions didn't matter. She was the fulcrum of his Jinchuu. That was her only purpose. Kindness, grief, anger... none of those sentiments would change anything. If she truly understood what Battousai was, her heart would break. The sadistic side of Enishi grinned at the thought.

Regardless, she would stay with him until Battousai was dead. Jinchuu demanded nothing less.


	3. chapter two :: awkwardness

**AN: **I screwed up. I forgot to give credit where credit is due. Were it not for the encouragement and honest feedback of Thunk, this fic would probably be sitting in limbo. She gives the best feedback and criticism of anybody I know. I owe her big kudos for all the help she's given me and I should have thanked her in the very first chapter, but... uh... I forgot.

Sorry, Thunk.

**Disclaimer: **I bought the rights to Rurouni Kenshin just last week! Did I mention that I have some really nice beach-front property in Florida for sale? Very inexpensive!

-

* * *

**Catharsis**

**awkwardness  
**.:chapter two:.

* * *

Kamiya was surprisingly naïve. She had no concept of how cruel Battousai was to allow innocence such as hers into his sphere of influence. He was tempted to tell her, _show_ her, because of her loyalty to him... but he couldn't.

Eventually, she would realize the scope of what she allowed to live in her home. Until then, he would just have to ignore her. Or at least try to. There was something about Kamiya that stirred up his curiosity. At first, he thought it was because she was so different from his sister. Then it was the fact that she was cooking for him.

Now, he wasn't so sure.

One thing about her that he both enjoyed and despised was the fact that she was not afraid of him. She didn't cower or refuse to look him in the eye. No woman ever acted like that before. Hell, there were corpses all over Shanghai of people who pushed him the wrong way.

People feared him. They always had. A meaningful look combined with a few choice words and he could cause someone to tremble. Kamiya didn't tremble. She didn't look away. She didn't rage at him. She didn't hate him.

Such qualities not only contrasted against his sister, they contrasted against humanity.

Even so, there was one quality Kamiya possessed that did mirror his sister. Enishi saw it just briefly and only once. It happened shortly after breakfast the day before. She thought she was alone, but he was watching her from afar. For several minutes, she simply stared at the horizon, a brooding look consuming her features. Then her expression changed. The transformation was so quick and complete that Enishi thought he was reliving a childhood memory. The way her shoulders sagged, her eyes dulled...

Suddenly he felt 10-years-old again. Seeing the Kamiya girl wearing the same expression that so often clouded nee-san's face was painful to look at. Stomach tied in knots, Enishi couldn't force himself to look away. He _wanted_ to. He wanted to turn his back and walk away, but he couldn't. He felt condemned to watch her and experience that sliver of despair with her.

The moment abruptly ended when a bird lighted on the balcony and caught the girl's eye. That one small distraction pulled her from her sorrow and brought Enishi his release. Suddenly, he could breathe again.

Still, his curiosity taunted him. The sadistic streak that colored his personality black wanted to tell her where her precious Battousai was living. He wanted to see how she would react to the news that he was in Rakuninmura. The only reason he didn't tell her was because of that familiar sorrow he witnessed in her.

He couldn't torment her emotionally any more than he could kill her. Perhaps that was why the memory of his sister still did not smile.

He couldn't understand it. His jinchuu was working exactly as he wanted. Battousai was experiencing the same psychological and emotional hell Enishi had to endure as a child. He was paying for hurting them both.

It was supposed to be a beautiful thing... so why wasn't she smiling?

Frustrated, Enishi removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. He was doing the right thing. This was his purpose. If something wasn't right, he was confident that nee-san would eventually lead him in the direction he was supposed to go.

"Enishi?"

Turquoise eyes turned toward the voice and he offered her his attention.

Kaoru gave a shaky smile, sensing she interrupted him at a bad time. "I made you something to eat."

No reply, just measured silence.

"I can leave it in the kitchen if you want."

"No," Enishi said quietly, his voice unusually polite, "I'll take it now, thank you."

Kaoru hesitated for a moment, her mind tripping over his words of gratitude as she tried to hide her surprise. Cheeks flushed, she stepped forward and placed the tray on the table. Seconds later, she was still lingering by his side. Chewing on her bottom lip, she eyed him warily, a question lingering on her tongue.

Enishi knew what she wanted to ask and she seemed to vibrate with unease while trying to work up the courage to finally voice it. He mentally smirked. She wasn't afraid to ask the question, she was afraid of the answer. But such a question was long in coming. Unfortunately for Kamiya, he was in no mood to answer it.

"You can go," he suggested, his tone plain.

She ignored him. "How much longer?"

"Soon."

"Please, just tell me," she pushed, her voice soft.

"When jinchuu is complete. You should know that by now."

"Are you waiting for him to come or for him to die?"

"Is dinner going to taste as bad as lunch?" Enishi asked, purposefully distracting her from her attempt to glean information from him.

She scowled and resisted the urge to yell at him. "For your sake," she said evenly, "I hope so."

A corner of his lips quirked up when she turned away from him. She was halfway to the door when the sound of Enishi's voice caused her to pause.

"Either scenario for the Battousai is acceptable to me," he said quietly.

Kaoru's breath caught in her throat.

"It really doesn't matter. Both situations will end the same way," he said, his eyes reflecting his intent.

Her bright blue eyes met his darkening turquoise, "It's not enough that you torture him... you have to kill him as well?"

"_That_ is jinchuu."

She flinched, but said nothing more.

A cold smile cut his face. "It won't be long now."

• • •

He resisted opening his eyes. Instead, he opted to remain still and quiet as he reflected on his pain. Muscles he didn't even know he had felt bruised and torn. Joints throbbed. Skin ached. There wasn't much of him that didn't hurt.

Very quickly, Yahiko found himself wishing for the bliss of unconsciousness again. He wouldn't be aware of the aches within his body if he was asleep. However, unconsciousness could bring its own form of pain. Dreams haunted him. At least with wakefulness he could control his thoughts. Or at least make the attempt. The less he thought about Kenshin, the better. The sense of betrayal and anger he felt toward that man cut deeper than any physical wound ever could.

_'He can rot there for all I care. It's up to me now...'_

Images of his fight with Hyougo came to his mind unbidden. Defeat tasted bitter in his mouth and he grimaced. If Saitou hadn't stepped in at the last minute, Yahiko was certain he would be dead now.

_'Who am I kidding? Without Kenshin and Sano's help, Kaoru is as good as dead.'_

Frustrated tears stung his eyes. If he couldn't even beat one of Enishi's damn lackeys, how could he possibly hope to save Kaoru? She was still alive! Enishi still had her and if they could find him, they would find her as well.

Didn't Kenshin care about that? Didn't he want to make Enishi pay for hurting her? How could he just sit there and do nothing?

How could Kenshin, a man who claimed to want to help the weak, be so wrapped up in himself that he couldn't even find the motivation to go after a criminal like Enishi? A man who 'killed' Kaoru! It made no sense to Yahiko. In Kenshin's mind, Enishi should be a murderer. Shouldn't that be reason enough to go after Enishi? Not for revenge, but for justice?

Eyes stinging, Yahiko clenched his jaw and breathed slowly through his nose. Getting worked up about Kenshin made his whole body clench. It was painful. Forcing himself to relax, he tried to clear his mind. The exercise proved fruitless. Everything hurt. Physically, mentally... emotionally. There was nothing 'safe' to think about.

The person that Yahiko once believed Kenshin to be felt like a lie. There was bitter disappointment, but more than that, he felt completely betrayed. His mother was dead, his adoptive older sister was being held hostage and the man whom Yahiko once regarded as a hero and wanted to emulate was now wasting away in a dump.

'_If Kaoru really does die because of Kenshin's bullshit, I will never forgive him._'

The resolution crystallized in his mind, the certainty of it giving him a vague sense of calm. Just as his muscles began to relax, he heard someone enter the room. Their movements were quiet but determined as they moved toward his bed. Eyes still closed, Yahiko gave no indication of his conscious state as he listened.

A rustling of fabric, the gentle groan of a chair being moved beside his bed, and then silence. Curiosity began to part closed eyelids when a cold, damp cloth was suddenly placed over his eyes. A jolt moved through his body from the sensation and he quickly snatched the offending material in one hand. A startled feminine 'eep!' sounded beside him from his sudden movements.

"I'm sorry, Yahiko-kun!" she whispered, blushing furiously, "I- I didn't mean to wake you..."

Tired brown eyes squinted at the girl sitting beside him. "Tsubame?" he asked, "What are you doing here?"

"Me-megumi-san told me that a cold compress might prevent your eyes from swelling shut," she smiled shyly. "I... I just wanted to help. I'm sorry I woke you."

Yahiko sighed, and leaned back into his pillow. "You didn't. I was already awake."

"You were?"

"Hn."

"Would you mind if I put that cloth back over your eyes?" she asked.

"Why bother? So what if they swell."

She hesitated, "But... your eyes could swell shut."

"I don't care," came the stubborn reply.

"Yahiko-kun, don't you--"

The boy snorted abruptly.

"Sano's off doing God-knows-what and Kenshin is practically _dead,_" Yahiko spat, the quality of his voice caustic. His ire caused Tsubame to flinched but he paid her no mind. "I got beat up by some damn grunt and that bastard _Saitou_ had to 'save' me... who gives a shit if my eyes swell shut?"

"But..."

"It's okay for Kenshin to sit on his ass and rot. Well, I'm going to lay here and swell!"

"...they're planning to go after Kaoru-san..."

Brown eyes shot open to regard the timid girl beside him, "What!?"

"I heard Saitou-san and Aoshi-san talking about it," she answered vaguely, "I thought... you'd be going, too..."

"They're going after Kaoru? Are you sure?"

Tsubame opened and closed her mouth soundlessly, the intensity of Yahiko's expression taking her voice from her.

"Tsubame!"

She nodded, and looked away.

"When?"

"I don't know..."

Suddenly Yahiko was struggling with his bed covers, forcing himself to rise.

"Wait!" Tsubame exclaimed, alarmed, "You're still hurt. You can't get out of bed yet! Megumi said-"

"I don't have time for that now," he said as he stood, a shutter moving through his frame.

With a pained shuffle, he slowly made his way toward the door, determination glowing in his eyes. Tsubame quickly went to his side, putting his arm around her shoulders as she offered to support his weight. He glowered at her, but the expression was lost as she stared straight ahead. Stubborn pride was quickly replaced with resignation as he silently accepted her help, leaning into her for support.

Together, they made their way out of the room.


	4. chapter three :: coalesce

**Catharsis**

**coalesce****  
**.:chapter three:.

* * *

Megumi nearly jumped out of her skin from the sudden and intense pounding that thundered from her front door. Her medical instincts took over at once. Without hesitation she went to the door, a sickening sense of foreboding creating a dense knot in her gut.

"Just a minute!" she yelled as she fumbled with the lock. Stealing herself for the worst, she yanked the door open.

She expected to see blood, pain and panic. She expected to see someone in need of immediate, life-saving medical attention. She was prepared to deal with all that. What she didn't expect to see was a spiky-haired idiot standing on her doorstep with an arrogant smirk lifting his features as he peered down at her.

Megumi's shock quickly gave way to anger. Mixed in with that anger was a dash of relief, but she pushed that feeling aside. The fool would feel her wrath. He deserved it. Lips forming a tight line and jaw clenched, she glared at him. That only seemed to make him smirk even more.

The silent contest of wills increased in ferocity. Her glare threatened violence. His posture became even more relaxed, almost daring her to punch him. She lifted a delicate brow, challenging him. The corner of his lip trembled as sweat trickled down the side of his face, causing the streaks of dirt along his jaw to smear. She was winning, she knew. But not because she was more stubborn. There was a sense of exhaustion that clung to him, betraying his attempt to appear fine. Bruises of various sickly colors marred his arms and darkened his jaw. Eyes drawn downward, she frowned at the sight of the torn and bloody linen gauze wrapped around his hands.

It was obvious that he had been fighting. Again.

'_Idiot_. _After going missing for days he comes back like this!_' She sighed impatiently at him. '_And to think I actually worried about him!_'

"Hello," he said.

The doctor tilted her head at him and waited. Her anger was obvious, but he continued to pointedly ignore it. Instead he held up his injured hand and offered a cocky smile. The same smile she secretly thought bordered on sexy. But at the moment, she wanted to smack him upside the head for it.

"I've done it again," he continued. Megumi visibly bristled. "Could you give it a look?"

She snorted. He waited. She glared. He still pretended not to notice. Her bark was worse than her bite. He could take it. Sighing, his expression became blasé, as though he was doing her a favor by asking for her help.

At that point, Megumi lost it. "I thought I told you, I don't have any medicine for **_idiots!_**"

Without waiting for a reply, she roughly grabbed the street-fighter by the injured hand and squeezed. Eyes wide, he hissed in pain. Then with a bit more force than necessary, she yanked him inside.

• • •

Boredom punctuated her world, defining her boundaries and setting a pattern. One minute after another ticked and all Kaoru could find to do was watch the ocean lick the sand.

Over and over again. It was oppressive.

_'When will get you here, Kenshin?'_

With an impatient groan, she stood and turned away from the window. There had to be something to do. Something — _anything _— besides watching the ocean for hours on end. Sitting around and waiting for something to happen was almost as stressful as being afraid that something _would_ happen.

It was frustrating to not be able to do anything. Escape was impossible. Enishi was far too strong and aware of her movements to make such an option viable. There were books to read, but they were written in Chinese. She still flipped through them, if only to look at the pictures. But one could only page through the same set of books so many times before the process became cumbersome.

The only thing she really looked forward to was cooking. It got her out of her room and kept her hands busy. Plus it gave her a chance to interact with Enishi, though her attempt to befriend him was turning into a huge failure. Every attempt to talk to him ended the same way. He would either send her away outright or say something mean to make her go away. Her relationship with Enishi was friendly only because it was convenient to behave that way. Cooking for him only reinforced that behavior, it didn't actually bridge the gap between them. Even though she didn't fear for her life, she was still intimidated by the man. It was pure stubbornness, and perhaps a bit of loneliness, that caused her to seek him out at mealtime every day.

But Kaoru didn't know how much more she could take.

Discouragement was quickly taking root in her heart. She felt powerless to effect her situation and that was starting to eat away at her morale. She decided after breakfast that she needed to do something. She needed to be more proactive. She needed to have an actual, real conversation with Enishi. One that didn't revolve around Kenshin or jinchuu. If there was any hope at all to getting through to the man, she needed to find a way to relate to him somehow. Unfortunately, everything she knew about Enishi was directly related to Kenshin. The idea of talking to him about such a volatile subject would not end well. At best, he would go into a ranting fit. At worst, he would confine her to her room.

Kaoru pushed her bangs out of her eyes and sighed. What she needed was to find something totally benign and neutral. But figuring out what that something could be was almost laughable. Enishi was a painfully private and guarded person. The house the two of them shared was well furnished, but it lacked personality. Everything had a practical purpose. And if she pushed too hard to get him to talk to her she was certain that he would immediately shut her out and send her away.

Still, the thought of discovering some kind of common ground with the man inspired her into action. Immediately after lunch, Kaoru went to work. Room by room she went, eyes and hands carefully examining every corner and shelf. She flipped through books, rummaged through cabinets and sifted through drawers. She knew she was being a snoop. And behaving so rudely did cause her to feel more than a little guilty, but failing in her goal simply wasn't an option. She made certain to return everything exactly as she found it, which slowed her search process considerably. But the last thing she wanted to do was make her sin of invading his privacy glaringly obvious. Enishi would probably figure out that she had been through his things. She just hoped her care in covering her tracks would diminish his annoyance with her -- if not wipe it out all together.

After all, it wasn't like she was going to search through his room. That location was clearly off-limits. And Kaoru was certain that anything of real significant value would be kept there. Going through the desk in his Study or the shelves near the entryway was no where near as bad as rummaging through his bedroom. She was a prisoner, she reasoned. Surely he expected her to look around.

Her actions somewhat justified and guilt pushed to the side, Kaoru pressed on. Halfway through her search, the kendo instructor had to admit that her idea may not pan out. The only items she found that she might be able to talk to Enishi about were the books he kept. But since they were written in Chinese she had no idea what to say about them.

'_Hey, Enishi,'_ she thought, imagining the interaction in her mind. '_Have you seen the illustrations in these books? Interesting, huh? This book has drawings of weapons in it. This one has drawings of the ocean and a fishing boat. And this one has a couple of pictures of women in various stages of undress... Not sure I want to know what that one is about, but the book with the fishing boat in it looks interesting. It's too bad that I can't read Chinese. Could you... uh... read this to me?_'

She snorted. '_Yeah, right._'

Dusting herself off, Kaoru surveyed the room she had just finished searching. It looked just as neat and clean as when she first entered. Satisfied, she made her way down the hall. With only two rooms to go, Kaoru fought hard against frustration and discouragement. If Enishi simply didn't have anything of personal value in the house she would just have to figure something else out. As she began her search of the next room, something very plain and seemingly out-of-place caught her eye. Pushed back against a wall on a shelf near the far window was an inconspicuous, flat piece of wood. She recognized it at once.

It was a shogi board. And an old one at that. Kaoru turned the board over in her hands, inspecting it. Small scratches marred the surface in a few places and the edges were dull from age. The board, despite it's few scars, was well cared for and had witnessed many games. Perhaps even a few games played by Enishi himself. Biting her lip, Kaoru tried to imagine him playing shogi. For some reason, the notion felt very alien to her and she frowned.

'_It's probably not even his,_' she thought dejectedly. '_It probably belonged to one of his men..._'

She moved to return the shogi board to where she found it when another thought made her pause. '_Enishi is so paranoid... so guarded... I doubt that there is anything in this house that he is not completely aware of. This board _has_ to be his._'

A triumphant grin caused blue eyes to sparkle happily. Yes. This was it. This was the benign item that would help her to bridge the gap between them and give Kaoru an opportunity to truly befriend the brother of Tomoe.

• • •

"Is he still there?"

Megumi turned Sano's hand over, eying it critically. "He hasn't moved."

He grunted, but said nothing.

"Saitou and Aoshi were here yesterday," Megumi said as she disinfected the wound. His fingers twitched from the sting.

"Gee, I'm sorry I missed them," he remarked dryly.

The doctor glanced at her patient, "They're planning to go after him. _Without_ Kenshin."

Sanosuke remained quiet, expression tight.

"She's still alive," Megumi continued. She felt a tremor move through his arm, "Aoshi suspected a ruse so we exhumed her grave. Enishi has Kaoru."

Sano's eyes widened and his voice caught, "But we buried― the blood―" he swallowed hard and tried again. "That was a _puppet?_"_  
_

The doctor gave a brief nod as she carefully wrapped his hand, "A puppet designed to look human."

"She's alive," he said, his relief evident.

"As far as we know."

Sano nodded and set his jaw. "Then... then Kenshin doesn't know yet. Otherwise_―_"

"No," Megumi interrupted. "Tsubame told him."

"What?!" He pulled his hand away and shot to his feet, "_When?_"

"Yesterday."

His brown eyes went wide as he mouth opened and closed silently. Megumi watched his expression change as he processed the information, his ire growing with each second.

"He found out yesterday? And he's _still_ there?" he demanded.

Megumi sighed, "I need to tie that bandage, Rooster-head."

"I'm going to kill him!" Sano yelled, too angry to hear.

She grabbed his wrist and yanked. "Sit! I'm not done here."

Sano grumbled under his breath as Megumi quickly tied his bandages in place. The instant she was finished, he was on his feet again. Pacing.

"What the fuck is wrong with him?" he mumbled, more to himself than to her.

Folding her arms over her chest, the doctor watched Sano move from one side of the room to the other. Fists twitching at his sides, it was obvious that he wanted to punch something. Megumi couldn't blame him. Truth be told, she was a little angry at Kenshin, too. But she couldn't help but feel sorry for the rurouni. Her medical insticts told her that she should go to him and have him brought to her clinic for treatment. Kenshin did not look well and she feared that he was causing himself irreparable damage by his despair induced fast. If he didn't come to his senses, and soon, Megumi would have to act.

"Is he _trying_ to kill himself?" Sano asked rhetorically.

Megumi pressed her lips together into a tight, grim line, but said nothing. He didn't notice her expression.

"Jo-chan loves that idiot and look at what he's doing to her!" With those words, Sano seemed to arrive to a hasty decision. With eyes full of purpose, he strode across the room and grabed his shirt and pulled it on. It was clear that he intended to leave.

"Where do you think you're going?" Megumi asked.

"Where the hell do you think?" he snapped. "I'm going over there and drag his scrawny, girlie ass back here!_"_

"Sano..."

"And then I'm going to beat on him until he stops acting like a fucking idiot!"

"Sanosuke!"

Tempers flaring, they glared at each other.

"_What?!_"

Megumi worked her jaw, "Sit. _ Down._"

He scoffed and looked away. "Sorry Fox Lady, I've got business to_―_"

"NOW!"

Pride kept him rigid, but experience sent the command to sit to his legs. That tone of voice was not to be taken lightly. Still, he gave her the best glare he could manage as he submitted to her demand.

"You are such a pig-headed idiot sometimes!"

The street fighter snorted and folded his arms over his chest.

"This is important, Rooster-head. You need to hear me out before you start acting like a complete ass."

"Fine," he said, his voice cutting. "Hurry up."

Megumi bit back a caustic remark. Arguing with him would get her nowhere. "As I was _trying_ to tell you earlier," she continued, tone sharp. "Yahiko was in a fight yesterday. With Hyougo Kujiranami."

Sano blinked, his mouth falling open as he remembered Kujiranami from the fight at the Kamiya dojo days before. The man was huge. And deadly.

"H-how's Yahiko?" he asked, worry suddenly overtaking his anger.

"He'll be fine," she said, her voice finally beginning to soften. "None of his injuries were very serious."

The street fighter let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. That damn punk kid was lucky to be alive. "Where's that Kujiranami guy now?" he asked, a promise of violence in his eyes.

"Looking for an excuse to destroy your hand already?"

"My hand is fine," Sano squeezed it into a fist for emphasis. "You fixed it, right?"

The doctor fumed as the street fighter looked on.

"Well, you're out of luck. Kujiranami's on his way to be buried," she said. "Saitou killed him."

"Lucky for him."

Megumi shot Sano a dark look while the street fighter looked on impassively.

"Yahiko was fighting with Kujiranami alone," the doctor continued as she pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. "Tsubame was with him at the time and saw the fight start. She ran to get Ken-san. She told me that she begged him to help, but Ken-san didn't move. He just _sat_ there. Tsubame was scared for Yahiko so she told Ken-san that Kaoru was still alive. She thought that would bring him back to his senses, but he acted like he didn't even hear her. He's just... too far gone now."

"So he really does know..."

She sighed. "I don't know. Honestly, he's in a world of his own right now. I have to wonder if he heard her at all. Kenshin is just... _empty_ inside."

"Empty," Sano echoed with a snort. "That's no excuse to not act. He should at least want to go after Enishi to hold him accountable for his crimes. Kenshin is acting like a complete bastard. Kaoru is counting on him and he's resigned himself to being dead. Fuck him."

Megumi clenched her jaw but said nothing. What could she say? She was just as disappointed in Kenshin's actions as everyone else. But she knew her disappointment was nothing when compared to Yahiko and Kaoru. Those two loved Kenshin. Really loved him. And while Megumi certainly loved Kenshin in her own way, she was not as close to him as those two.

Pushing back against the sting of tears, she waited for Sano to ask the inevitable.

"When are they leaving?"

"As soon as they can requisition a ship," she said. "Three days. Maybe four."

A mercenary grin was his only reply.


	5. chapter four :: mitigation

**Disclaimer: **I called Watsuki Nobuhiro the other day and asked him to just give me the rights to Rurouni Kenshin. You know, as a Christmas gift of sorts. Well, I don't speak Japanese and I don't think he understands a whole lot of English, but I'm pretty certain he said he'd be happy to give me all the rights to Rurouni Kenshin. "Baka yarou" means, "You're awesome! Rurouni Kenshin is yours!" - right?

Yeah, that's what I thought. So anyway, I own RK now. Thanks, Watsuki!

-

* * *

**Catharsis**

**mitigation  
**.:chapter four:.

* * *

Enishi sighed as he surveyed the work waiting for him. Pages and pages of contracts and agreements were stacked up beside him waiting for his signature. The transfer of control from himself to Heishin was a tedious process. Still, he waded through the paperwork with a fine-tooth comb, making certain the little bloodsucker didn't try to take more than what they originally agreed to.

He was in the middle of reading the same legal jargon for the third time in a row when Kamiya entered the room. Enishi tightened his jaw and started the paragraph over again. Perhaps if he just ignored her, she would go away. Kamiya was bothersome and persistent. Two qualities he rarely put up with from anyone. Once again he was reminded of how vastly different she was from his sister.

The paragraph read and processed, Enishi moved on to the next one only to feel her presence move closer. She wanted something. He could feel it.

"What is it now?" he asked in a clipped tone, refusing to turn and look at her.

She hesitated for a moment, and then moved around the table so that she stood across from him. In her hands she held his shogi board. Voice hopeful, she asked, "Do you know how to play shogi?"

Enishi put down his pen and looked at her quizzically. She couldn't be serious.

"I found this earlier today," she continued, lifting the board for emphasis, "but I have yet to find the pieces for it."

"They're around."

"Good!" she said, blue eyes grinning at him. "I was wondering," she glanced at his papers, "when you're not busy, would you be interested in playing a round?"

"No," he replied, looking back at his work.

Kaoru frowned. "Tomorrow, maybe?"

"Not interested."

Sighing, the girl slumped into the chair across from him. Enishi raised a brow at her. That was a first.

"I don't believe I invited you to sit," he said.

"I'm dying of boredom here."

"I don't care if you're bored," he replied.

"Well, I know you don't, but I do." She sighed, "I'm not trying to be annoying."

"Really? I hadn't noticed."

Kaoru clenched her jaw at his flippant tone, "How about a break then? Play a round of shogi against me."

"Go away, Kamiya."

"Please?"

He clenched his jaw, ignoring her.

"Do you not know how to play?" she asked, voice artificially sweet.

"It's _my_ board," he said, caustically, "of course I know how to play."

"Then you must not be very good."

Enishi glared at her. Was she actually trying to tease him into playing in order to prove something?

"If you don't leave me alone, I'll just lock you in your room," he said seriously, his tone low.

"Oh, come on!" she exclaimed, hand pounding on the table for emphasis. "I'm getting stir-crazy here! All I want is one game of shogi to pass the time. One! I'm not asking for much and it's the least you could do!"

He smirked and sat back in his chair. So now the girl was abandoning the whiny tactic and going straight to being angry. So strange, this one. "Are you aware of the situation you're in?"

"I am aware that I am bored out of my mind, you jerk."

He smirked.

"You're so..._ frustrating!_"

"Go play in the ocean, but don't go too far from shore," he gave her a malicious smirk. "There are sharks out there."

Kaoru dropped her head to the table and groaned.

Amusement evident, Enishi watched her with interest. Not that she needed to know, but a game of shogi actually sounded appealing in light of his other responsibilities. He hadn't played in quite a while. He vaguely remembered his father playing the game with his uncle. They both taught him how to play and he had some good memories of the time.

The board in Kamiya's possession had been bought several years ago on a fluke. Shogi was one of the few reminders he had of his past that wasn't directly linked to his sister. It was for that reason that he bought it, but still, he rarely got an opportunity to play. Most people were simply too afraid of him to even think of playing against him. Not that he minded. Fear was an excellent way to control people, though it had to be managed carefully.

Enishi wondered what kind of shogi player Kamiya was. If she was any good, a game could be a very enjoyable distraction. Perhaps he should take her up on her offer.

"After dinner."

Kaoru slowly lifted her head, brow creasing as she peered at him with a questioning look.

"Leave me alone until then," he told her. "Otherwise I _will_ lock you in your room."

His words slowly sunk in and planted a smile. Eyes reflecting her satisfaction, Kaoru said, "I'll leave you alone. I promise."

• • •

Once the game began, Kaoru knew she was outclassed. Enishi was the type to see every move on the board with just one look. Her father had had that ability, too. Kaoru, on the other hand, could see all the moves, too, it just took her longer.

_A _lot longer. Shogi just wasn't her forte.

Chewing on her bottom lip, Kaoru moved a piece.

Enishi countered.

Kaoru sighed. "You play like my father."

Sipping his tea, he waited for her to move.

"You're both frustrating," she mumbled.

At that, Enishi smirked. Kaoru caught it and smiled.

"Well, you _are,_" she said.

"You're the one who wanted to play," he said.

Eying the board, Kaoru saw her move. Her smile didn't waiver. "Don't remind me."

Enishi took her piece and she grimaced. She really should have seen that...

"That was stupid of me," she muttered as her silver-haired opponent sat back and waited.

He only said a few sentences to her since they started to play. And every time he spoke he was curt. She wanted him to _talk_ to her, not watch her stare at the board with that damn smug expression as she tried to figure out her next move.

'_This isn't working,_' she thought with a deep sigh. '_I should have thought this through a bit more. He's focused on the game, not talking to me. Maybe if I have to prod him a little more..._' Clearing her throat, she tried to get him to converse with her again.

"So how long have you played?" she asked.

Enishi sipped his tea and eyed the board.

Frowning, Kaoru cocked her head to look him in the eye. "I really used to hate shogi," she said, voice light. A small smile lifted her features as she turned her attention back to the board. "My father tried to use shogi as an exercise in patience for me."

Kaoru moved and Enishi paused. Studying the placement of the pieces, he asked, "Do you think it worked?"

The kendo instructor had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from grinning. He was talking to her!

"Yeah," she said casually. "I think so."

"I would have to disagree," he said as he moved his piece.

"... _ eh?_"

"Many of your moves are simplistic and predictable," Enishi explained, voice haughty. He looked directly at her as he spoke. "You're taking the quickest route to get to the end without any real regard to strategy. You're not really playing, you're just wasting time."

Her temper nudged, Kaoru felt the muscles in her neck grow tense. "I'm _good_ at shogi," she insisted.

"Not really."

Kaoru could only stare as she tried to kill the urge to snap at him. He sipped his tea impassively, completely unaware or uninterested in her growing anger.

"Your move," he said.

• • •

Suddenly determined, Kamiya began to concentrate on the game. There was no sound between them as they studied the board and strategized their next moves. Enishi had to admit, he was enjoying the game in spite of himself. Once she poured her attention into it, she became a very satisfying opponent.

And then she made a move that surprised him. One he didn't think she would have the courage to try. An important piece was left with minimal defense as a way to lure him into making a move that would weaken _his_ defenses. The ploy was obvious, but he was still impressed. Little Kaoru Kamiya was being shrewd. He was impressed.

Stoic as ever, Enishi countered and she replied. Back and forth the pieces went until he gained full control over the board once more. Kamiya sighed, recognizing her defeat was only two moves away. The final piece taken, the girl offered a grateful smile while her eyes reflected her disappointment in losing.

"Thanks for playing," she said sincerely, clearing the board and putting the pieces away.

"You're not bad," he said. "That is, once you concentrate on what you're doing."

His compliment didn't phase her. Too busy thinking about the mistakes she made in the game, she didn't even notice when he started to help her clean up.

"I wasn't concentrating. I really just wanted to talk more than play," Kamiya admitted honestly, a slight blush coloring her cheeks.

Enishi watched her put the last piece away. "You're not here on a social visit. We're not friends, Kamiya."

Her shoulders suddenly tensed and he eyed her queerly. Realization dawned as he studied her. Somehow, this game had been important to her.

No, not the game.

_Him._

She honestly wanted to spend time with _him_.

_'W-why..?'_

Clearing her throat, Kamiya met his eyes. "I know why I'm here," she said, "but you and I aren't enemies. There's no reason I shouldn't talk to you, right? This island is so lonely... I thought we could both use the break from the boredom of waiting."

Enishi peered at her, the weight of his stare causing her to squirm.

"You're lying," he accused.

Kamiya swallowed hard as she tried to look confident. "No. I really am bored."

"Boredom caused you to challenge me to a game of shogi?"

"Well, yes... and no," she admitted, her conscious preventing her from lying outright.

"Which is it?" he asked.

"I have been bored," she repeated, "but I thought... I thought we could talk. I'm always worried. I thought it would be nice to have a friendly conversation with you for once. That's all."

She was being sincere. Enishi could see it in her eyes.

How could she say that and mean it? He was trying to destroy Battousai. She should hate him. He expected her to hate him. Nothing she did made any sense. The cooking, the attempts at conversation, the offers to help when she thought he needed it...

And now _this._

_'She's trying to get on your good side,'_ Enishi reminded himself harshly. _'She's shrewd.'_

A sarcastic smirk parted his lips, "We're not enemies, Kamiya, but we're not allies, either."

Her blue eyes dulled ever so slightly.

"You'd do well to remember that," he said before standing and leaving her alone with her thoughts.

* * *

**AN: **Some people may not have heard of shogi before. Shogi is played on a nine-by-nine board and each player has twenty pieces. Like the commonly known Western game of Chess, the object of Shogi is to capture your opponent's King. However, there are some very interesting differences between Chess and Shogi. One is that almost all pieces can be promoted to stronger pieces once they reach the opposite side of the board. The second very important difference is that when a piece is captured, it becomes a piece for the capturing side, and can be dropped back onto the board.


	6. chapter five :: entreaty

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Rurouni Kenshin. I was joking when I claimed that Watsuki Nobuhiro gave me the rights to Rurouni Kenshin. Alas, I'm only a fanfiction writer and I do this sort of thing just for fun. Watsuki Nobuhiro, Jump Comics, Shueisha, Sony Picture Entertainment, Fuji Television, Media Blasters and Viz Comics own the right to make money off Rurouni Kenshin.

-

* * *

**Catharsis**

**entreaty  
**.:chapter five:.

* * *

Kaoru rested her chin on her palm as she watched him from the open window. The afternoon breeze tickled her face as she sat, studying his form for any flaw. Enishi was only a few feet away from her, providing her with an up-close view as he went through his routine. Seeing him move, it was hard to believe he was who he was. How could such grace come from such horror? In spite of herself, Kaoru found his adroit masculinity to be very attractive.

She knew he was aware of her eyes on him. Strangely enough, she didn't feel embarrassed staring at him and he didn't seem to mind. She'd been watching him go through his forms since the day his arm came out of the sling. Even on that first day, his movements were precise. They were slow, certainly... but _precise._

Speed, strength, stamina, motivation -- Enishi was pure. And deadly.

Sword in hand, the silver-haired antagonist flowed into a position that Kaoru did not recognize. Her interest piqued, she found herself leaning forward as she watched. He paused, focusing on his target with eyes narrowed and muscles tense. A lone tree, not far from the edge of the practice area he favored, waited for him to make his move. Thick, green leaves swayed carelessly in the currents of air...

...and then, it was gone. The tree was nothing but splintered wood. A carcass.

Kaoru swallowed hard. He moved so fast, she barely saw it. His strength and speed were back in full force. He was recovered. Completely.

"I'm surprised you can move like that already," she called out to him, guilt nipping at her smartly, "I guess I shouldn't have cooked for you after all."

"This has nothing to do with that terrible food you serve," Enishi replied, glancing at her out of the corners of his eyes.

Kaoru balked, her temper flaring, "Then _don't_ eat it!"

A corners of his lips quirked up.

"No one forces you to eat what I cook," she continued. "Ingrate!"

His eyes sparkled with amusement as he rested the sword against his shoulder and faced her fully. He was enjoying her anger. She could tell. And that only served to annoy her even more. Standing with her hands on her hips and shoulders back with a distinct air of confidence, she lifted her chin and gave him her best look of disdain. "I hope you _choke._"

Grinning widely, he gave her one more barb. "I have."

"Mou!" Kaoru huffed, crossing her arms over her chest and pointedly looking away. She heard him chuckle, but barely recognized the sound. Too distracted from his insults, Kaoru simply clenched her jaw. When she finally turned to face him once more, an insult hot on her tongue, the arrival of an unfamiliar group of strangers gave her pause.

"Boss," said the small man leading the group. His voice was thick with a Chinese accent. "I apologize for disturbing you while you're busy..."

Enishi didn't immediately turn toward the voice. In fact, he didn't seem surprised at their arrival at all. Smile gone, Enishi's eyes turned hard and cold. With a deliberate slowness, he turned to face the man addressing him. "What do you need, Heishin?"

"There is a small problem I'd like to discuss with you," Heishin glanced at Kaoru out of the corners of his eyes. "It has to do with that personal matter you are currently involved in."

Pushing his glasses higher on the bridge of his nose, Enishi asked, "What's that?"

The Chinese man hesitated, clearly not very keen on discussing business in front of her. But Enishi didn't waiver. With an expression reflecting his impatience, he waited for the Chinese man to speak.

"Yes, well," he began. "It seems that a man with a weapon attached to his arm was going berserk in the middle of Tokyo about three days ago."

"Oh," Enishi grinned, "that would be Hyougo Kujiranami. Did he get himself killed?"

Heishin nodded, "He did. Eventually he cause quite a bit of damage while fighting with some young man." He paused for a moment, as though considering his next words. Then, "The report I read has to be mistaken though. It claimed it was a mere boy fighting with a shinai―"

"_Yahiko?!_"

• • •

Interrupted, Heishin gave the girl a cold, dark glare. She accepted his annoyance and stared back, her expression belaying her obvious shock and worry. Enishi watched Heishin study Kamiya with murder in his eyes. It was easy to see what his second-in-command thought of her. She knew too much, saw too much. No one in the corporate world knew of Heishin's more questionable activities and that was the way he liked it. The girl wasn't threatening in the least, but it was Heishin's policy to deal with people like her very harshly. The less who knew about his business, the better.

That was how Heishin acquired his power. And that was how Enishi acquired his power as well. In Heishin's mind, the girl needed to go. But as long as Kamiya was under Enishi's protection, he could do nothing. Lips forming a tight line, Heishin continued with his explanation. And much to Enishi's distaste, the Chinese man's hate-filled eyes were still focused on Kamiya. He was regarding her like a hunter observed his prey.

"It seems that the boy, _Yahiko_, and a police officer managed to kill Kujiranami, along with a few other stragglers, are on their way here."

"Heishin," Enishi said, the sudden acid-like quality of his voice demanding his second-in-command to look directly at him. "Why are you looking at her when you are speaking to _me?_"

His face paled slightly, but Heishin covered for it with a smile that lifted his features, "I'm... sorry. That was rude of me."

_'Rude? I _know_ that look, Heishin...' _

Tendrils of unnaturally thick nerves bulged just beneath his skin as Enishi spoke, "She's under _ my_ protection, Heishin. Understand?"

• • •

Kaoru blinked, watching the exchange in bewildered silence. Enishi's body, his stance, was different. He radiated power and confidence. Her eyes were drawn to him for that reason, but she couldn't help following his gaze. Heishin's arrogant smile was gone. Sweat was gathering at his brow. The man was suddenly very afraid... perhaps even _terrified_ of Enishi.

"Y-yes," the smaller man nodded, "I understand."

Enishi's expression relaxed slightly, but his eyes remained sharp. Seemingly satisfied that he got his point across, Enishi continued the conversation as though nothing strange had just occurred.

"So they're on their way and they know she's alive."

Kaoru gaped. _'They think I'm dead?!'_

"I don't know if they're aware of her health," Heishin said.

Enishi became introspective as silence filled the space between them. The pregnant pause allowed Kaoru a moment to make sense of what she just saw and heard.

'_Why do they think I'm dead...? Why didn't Enishi tell me? How long does he plan on keeping me? __Why did Yahiko fight Kujiranami alone? Where is Kenshin? What is going on? __What happened between Enishi and Heishin just now? Why did Enishi's face... skin... _body_... change like that? How..?_'

Fingers digging into the windowsill, Kaoru waited, anticipation throbbing painfully in her chest.

"Is there a man with a cross-scar on his cheek with them?" Enishi asked at last.

"No," Heishin answered, signaling to his bodyguards that the meeting was coming to an end. "That one hasn't moved from Rakuninmura."

_'Kenshin is in Rakuninmura..?'_

Kaoru's blue eyes turned dark and cloudy as Enishi's clearly brightened.

• • •

'_Battousai must still think Kamiya is dead,' _Enishi thought, satisfaction brimming on the edge of his consciousness. '_Perfect._'

"I am preparing a greeting for our guests that should solve our problem," Heishin said. "And the mess in Tokyo is already being cleaned up."

Enishi narrowed his eyes at Heishin. "I didn't order you to make any such preparations."

"But―"

"Let them come," Enishi said. "I welcome their arrival."

"But that's... That's ridiculous!" Heishin shrill voice exclaimed. His exasperation made his fingers twitch nervously. "According to the Kokou Touzai Book of Naval Warfare, the wisest plan is to attack from the water to prevent the enemy from landing―"

"Heishin," Enishi's calm, controlled tone interrupted. "Is it your desire to fight me now?"

The Chinese man took a reflexive step back. Enishi turned to face him fully, his eyes bright with manic bloodlust. There was no doubt. He wanted them to come. He would enjoy the confrontation. And if Heishin threatened to prevent their arrival, he would pay for it. Most severely.

Clearing his throat, the Chinese man quickly acquiesced. "I... I see. I'll call off the cannons immediately."

Enishi's gaze did not waiver or diminish.

"B-but once your private matter is settled the organization will be mine," Heishin continued as he straightened his shirt and turned away. "I'm not willing to just sit back and watch. I have different tactics."

With that, he was gone, leaving the pair alone to navigate through a charged silence. Enishi barely moved after Heishin left. His mind was working, the gears turning behind his eyes as plans began to take on a pleasing shape. Kamiya watched him warily, noting his stillness and focus.

"Enishi..."

She seemed surprised when his attention quickly turned her way. Even more so when she noticed how his eyes seemed to soften just a little as he waited for her to speak.

"Promise me..." she began, worried fingers twitching, "promise me you won't... _kill_ them."

"Jinchuu is not complete," he stated firmly, simply.

"But they're not―"

He stared at her pointedly. "Jinchuu is not complete."

Kamiya clenched her jaw and grasped the sill in a white-knuckled grip. "But your jinchuu is with Kenshin. Not them!"

Rage blanketed his heart at the sound of Battousai's given name. How could she be so blind? So foolish? Battousai was stained in blood, pain and death! Those things can never be forgotten. Yet she did. Why was she protecting him? Even Tomoe tried to protect him and he murdered her...

"This is _part_ of jinchuu," Enishi grated, eyes hard, muscles tense.

"No, it's―!"

"Jinchuu would not exist were it not for that _murderer!_" Lips pulled back into a sneer, he continued, "If you wish to blame someone for the welfare of your friends, blame Battousai! He is the beginning and end of your misery and mine!"

• • •

Darkness still coated the early morning hours when Enishi decided to protect his fulcrum. He could hear her deep breathing through the door as he turned the key in the lock and sealed her within her room. Even in sleep, the girl could not be ignored.

Door locked, Enishi found his way back to the balcony overlooking the beach and once again observed the glow of the lantern lights inching closer to shore. They would arrive not long after daybreak. With any luck, he would take care of matters long before Kamiya awoke. The less involved she was, the better. She would be a distraction otherwise.

"Boss?"

Enishi kept staring at the light glowing off shore. "Hmm?"

"I really think we should sink the ship," Heishin said, his tone of his voice bearing an annoying nervous quality. "A dingy will land on the island, but the ship will remain in deeper waters. Even if you kill everyone, the police remaining on board the ship will―"

"Who says I'm going to kill everyone?" Enishi interrupted, his back still pointed at the Chinese man.

Heishin bristled and felt anger well up inside him. "This situation needs to be dealt with! This is more important than your personal matters!"

"Then you do wish to fight me now," the silver-haired watcher intoned.

The pre-dawn darkness hid Heishin's expression as the color drained from his face. Flustered, he clenched his fist. "N-no! I'm simply thinking of my organization."

A chill moved down his spine when Enishi finally turned to look at him.

"_Your_ organization?" he asked darkly. "This organization is _mine_ and it will continue to be mine until _my_ jinchuu is complete."

Anger loosened his tongue and Heishin blurted out his feelings without thinking, "But it will eventually be mine and I don't want to clean up after you!"

Heishin wasn't aware that Enishi had moved until he was towering over him. Turquoise eyes turned hard and dangerous as he stared down at him.

"Leave," Enishi commanded, voice unnaturally calm.

Heishin took a reflexive half-step back and blinked, "...Eh?"

"If I see you again before my jinchuu is finished, I'll relieve you of your limbs and throw your bleeding, conscious torso to the sharks that feed off shore," he said. "Do not test me."

The two men locked eyes. One pair calm and confident while the other quivered. Heishin was the first to look away. He raised a trembling hand to his head and smoothed out his hair. Without a word, he turned and walked away, leaving Enishi to watch the light shining on the waves.

As Heishin left the house with his Su Shen surrounding him, he vowed to not only take care of the situation his way, but to find a way to eliminate Enishi once and for all.

* * *

**AN:** Don't forget to review! It's very encouraging and helpful to us lowly fanfiction writers.


	7. chapter six :: fray

**  
Catharsis**

**fray  
**.:chapter six:.

* * *

The sun peeked over the horizon with its usual cheerfulness, bathing the world in a light-hearted glow. Clouds dotted the sky and a gentle breeze curled around the tiny boat, cooling the anxious passengers on board. Yahiko barely noticed. He was too distracted by the woozy feeling building in his gut to care.

The waves were making him sick. The constant rise and fall, the smell. Normally, he liked the ocean. Traveling by ship was actually somewhat of a treat for him. It was fun. The motion of the waves was something he enjoyed.

But not today. For the first time in his life, Yahiko was feeling seasick.

Not that he would admit it to anyone, but part of the reason why he felt so queasy was because of his nervousness. This was the first time he ever walked into a battle without Kenshin or Kaoru. He felt the weight of the world on his shoulders and it was making him nauseous. Once they boarded the dingy that would take them to shore, that sensation only got worse. If they didn't hit land soon, Yahiko was certain he'd lose his lunch.

With a groan, the boy samurai closed his eyes and tried to calm himself. He breathed deeply and tried to force his muscles to relax as he cleared his mind, just as Kaoru taught him, but the exercise did little to help settle his stomach.

"You okay?" a usually perky female voice asked.

Brown eyes peeked at the ninja girl through thin slits. "Fine."

"You don't look 'fine,'" Misao observed.

Yahiko grunted and covered his eyes with his arm, "Shut up."

"You look like you're going to throw-up."

"I said, shut up," Yahiko growled.

Another wave hoisted them up. "It's not that bad!" Misao shifted her body with the waves. "You've got such a weak constitution, Yahiko-_chan._"

At that, he pushed himself up into a seated position and glared at her. At least he tried to glare at her. The expression was muddied by the blanch that preceded his urge to purge. With an undignified heave, Yahiko watched his breakfast disappear into the salty waves.

Sano grimaced as the boy spit over the side of the boat. "Damn, Yahiko, you better get over that soon."

"I'm _ fine,_" he insisted, wiping his mouth with the back of his sleeve. Settled once again into his previous position, Yahiko stared at the shore and wondered if his sensei was even on the island. And if she was, he wondered if she was still alive. Jaw clenched and fingers hugging his shinai, the image of Kaoru with a cross scar on her cheek and a sword through her chest flashed through his mind. For Enishi's sake, she _ better_ be okay. There better not be one damn scratch on her.

_'If he hurt her, I swear I'll kill him...'_

Yahiko felt angry tears sting his eyes. He swallowed hard and quickly diverted his mind from the negative. Kaoru was too stupid and ugly to get herself killed. She was fine and would be coming home with them.

Enishi would be dealt with. Yahiko was confident of that. After all, he didn't travel all this way and just puke his guts out to lose to some white-haired freak. He came here to win, to get Kaoru back, and then kick her ass for getting herself kidnapped to begin with. If everything went according to plan, by this time tomorrow they would be ready to enter Tokyo Harbor and Kaoru would be with them. And after Buso recovered from her ass-kicking, she could then go kick Kenshin's ass.

After that, everything should be normal again. No more of this depressing Rakuninmura-funeral-mourning-bullshit. He was tired of it.

"What... what are those?" Misao asked suddenly, her voice belaying her bewilderment.

Aoshi peered at the objects floating just below the surface of water a few feet ahead of them. "Mines."

Yahiko leaned forward to get a look. All he saw were dark spots hovering just a few centimeters under the surface of water.

"Mines, huh?" the girl ninja grinned, preparing to throw a kunai. "Leave it to me!"

Misao studied the location of the mine, trying to discern its exact location when Aoshi's voice sounded behind her.

"Distance 61.5, 29.7 degrees to the right."

Eyes narrowed as she focused on her target.

"Don't try to look underwater," Aoshi continued, "concentrate on the disturbances in the waves and you'll see them. Now throw."

She did and the mine exploded. Her joyful laughter matured into a satisfied grin as she destroyed every mine that came into view. As the route to their destination slowly began to clear before them, Misao finally had a moment to look at the shore.

Five men were watching their progress from the sandy beach, waiting for them to arrive.

• • •

Enishi approached the group soundlessly, eying each of them with a predatory gleam. It was obvious who the strongest of the group was and the silver-haired antagonist studied him intently.

Saitou Hajime. Otherwise known as Miburo. Faithful believer in the justice of _'aku, soku, zan.' _ His weapon of choice is a nihontou and he is a master of Mizoguchi Haiitou Ryu. One of the greatest fighters during the Revolution, his trademark move is the gatotsu. A devastating maneuver. That is, unless one knew its weakness.

A smile forced lips to part, revealing rows of white teeth and causing turquoise eyes to twinkle anxiously. Defeating Saitou would be a challenge, but Enishi was confident the policeman wouldn't leave the island alive.

Then again, killing a police officer often caused more trouble than they were worth. His organization certainly had enough political influence in Japan to take care of the problem, but sorting through the red tape wasn't an overnight affair. It took a good month, at least, to close a case, reshuffle personnel and effectively bury a crime. He didn't know if he could wait a month. While the fact that Battousai was still sitting in Rakuninmura was pleasing, his sister had yet to smile for him. Killing the Battousai with his own hand steadily appeared to be the option of choice. Therefore, if Enishi had to return to Japan, specifically Tokyo, it might be best to leave Miburo alive.

At least, for the time being.

After Hajime, Aoshi Shinomori was the next challenge. A prodigy leader of the Oniwabanshu, Shinomori would be an interesting opponent.

Out of the five, those two posed the greatest "threat" to his plans. The other three were no threat at all. In fact, two of the three were children. Once again, Enishi was reminded of the selfish cruelness of Battousai. Befriending children, allowing a woman to develop an attachment to him when he knew he was being constantly hunted... and then when the time came to pay for his crimes, he left them to fend for themselves.

Kamiya's plea echoed in his mind as he watched the group dispatch Heishin's bodyguards. _'Please don't kill them...'_

Enishi clenched his jaw in annoyance. As much as it angered him that Battousai had not come and these people wanted to interfere with his plans, he had no real desire to kill anyone. Not if he didn't have to. Maiming... well, that was another matter entirely. Why go to the effort of killing someone when they could return home in pain and further ignite the guilt within Battousai?

Killing them would be too easy. Battousai deserved to see the suffering he caused.

• • •

Eyes squeezed tightly shut, Kaoru tried to ignore the onset of morning. Grogginess demanded darkness so she pulled her blanket up over her head and moaned. She was so tired. Too much time had been spent tossing and turning in worried agitation before sleep finally claimed her. Much to her displeasure, the sun continued to shine. Even under a blanket with eyes tightly shut, the late morning light penetrated her sleep. She grimaced and hugged her pillow to her face.

Then realization hit.

Today was the day. A ship had been spotted not far off shore late yesterday evening, alerting Enishi and Heishin of the arrival of her friends. Due to the quickly fading daylight, they weren't expected to attempt to make landfall until morning. Worry kept Kaoru up late into the night and now she feared the worse.

She slept too long. Her friends had already arrived.

Blankets flying, legs moving, Kaoru sprung to life. She quickly changed into a freshly washed bathrobe, secured her hair into a high ponytail, and opened the door. Or at least, she tried. _'Why is it locked?!' _she thought, rattling the door on its hinges. '_It's never been locked before!' _

Dread sucked the moisture from her mouth as she stared at the door. Was it over? Had Enishi already confronted them? Were they... _ okay?_

Swallowing hard, she lifted a tight fist and thumped it against the door as hard as she could.

"Hey!"

_Bang! Bang! Bang!_

"Enishi! Where _ are_ you?!"

_Bang!_

"Let me out of here!!"

_Bang!! BANG!_

"You _jerk..!_"

_BANG! BANG!! BANG!!_

Hand beginning to bruise and tears threatening, Kaoru's frustration peaked. "Damn it, Enishi!"

Kaoru pressed her forehead against the door and breathed deeply. She was getting too worked up, she had to calm herself. Panic wouldn't help her now. She simply didn't have time for it. She had to figure out a way to get out of the room and find Enishi.

• • •

Yahiko breathed hard as sweat poured down his face. Using his sleeve as a towel, he wiped the excess blood from the cut over his eye and winced. The cut didn't hurt when it was inflicted, but now it stung and throbbed as his sweat trickled into the wound. It probably needed stitches, but that could wait. For now, Yahiko was content to stare at his fallen opponent. Pride lifted the corners of his lips into a smile as he stood to his full height.

They won. Three unusually large men lay sprawled out across the beach with the fourth laying at _ his_ feet. The victory was a welcome taste in his mouth after his embarrassing defeat only days before.

_'Too bad buso didn't get to see it,' _Yahiko mussed as he eyed the broken weapon. The hawatari was useless against Genbu's strangely flexible staff, so the young swordsman had to improvise. Now the staff was busted and Genbu fell quickly once he was disarmed. Buso may have missed seeing the fight, but she wouldn't miss hearing about it. Bragging would be fun. At least, for him.

With the last of the Su Shen defeated, the Chinese man who claimed to be the "number one" guy in the organization staggered backwards. His voice was shrill and his eyes wide. The group watched him as he lamented the inconceivable overpowering of his bodyguards, and then the threats for vengeance began.

"I'll kill you all myself! Like animals!" he promised moving backwards, his eyes shifting wildly. "I have foreign weapons on this island! Enough to kill you all!"

With that, he turned to flee, only to run face to face with the man he feared most.

Brown eyes grew wide and glassy with fright, Heishin didn't even see the punch coming. His vision turned dark the instant Enishi's fist struck his face, breaking his nose and orbital bone. Blood spurted from his nostrils as Heishin fell to the ground in a heap.

"Piece of shit," Enishi muttered, eying the unconscious and slightly twitching form of his former second-in-command. "I'll kill you later."

"That's... _ Enishi?_" a timid female voice asked, eyes unblinking as she absorbed his appearance. No one answered her as everyone stood to attention. Yahiko was the first to break the stillness as he boldly approached his enemy.

"Where is Kaoru?"

Enishi glanced down at the child standing before him, his shinai extended in a challenge. He said nothing has he observed the child, noting the fierceness in his eyes.

"Is she on this island?" the boy asked, chin held high.

When Enishi still didn't answer him, the boy glowered as his shinai began to tremble ever so slightly. Turquoise eyes examined the shivering weapon in an exaggerated gesture, alerting the boy to his unconscious movements. Teeth bared, Yahiko pointed the shinai at Enishi's throat. "If she's dead," he said sotto voce, eyes growing dark, "then I won't hesitate to kill you."

A smirk tugged at Enishi's lips as he looked at the child. The ten-year-old meant what he said. The anger was true, the promise was sincere. Enishi recognized the look in his eyes. It was pain mixed with anger and righteous determination.

The boy reminded him of himself.

"You stupid brat!" Sano slapped a heavy hand on Yahiko's head as he kept an eye on Enishi. "Look at you! You can barely stand after all the fighting you've done in the past few days."

Yahiko growled, but the street fighter ignored him. His hand squeezed Yahiko's head as he pushed the boy back a step.

"Besides," Sano continued, "you're a student of Kamiya Kasshin Ryu. The sword that protects life and all that shit."

The young samurai was about to protest when he saw the way Sano was looking at Enishi. Violence shined from his eyes as he gave their silver-haired opponent a chill smile.

"For that reason," Sano grinned, his fist raised and ready, "I'll kill him myself!"

Enishi stood silently, one eyebrow raised.

"So how 'bout it, you obsessive freak?!" Sano yelled, stepping in front of Yahiko. "Where the hell is Jou-chan?!"

Pushing his glasses up with one finger and maintaining his somber expression, Enishi said, "She is under my protection."

Yahiko and Misao both blinked in confusion as Aoshi and Saitou simply observed the drama unfold before them.

Sano bristled. He didn't like the sound of that statement. It implied possessiveness and _ that_ was disturbing. With fists clenched to his sides, he demanded, "What the fuck does _ that_ mean?"

"It means exactly what it sounds like it means," Enishi replied, his eyes slowly wandering to each of the men waiting to fight with him. Saitou exchanged a measured look with him as they each sized the other up in a matter of seconds.

Biting back a feral grin, Enishi repeated his earlier statement, "Kamiya is under _my_ protection."

"I want to see her," Yahiko said, immediately earning the attention of the man he hated most.

Turquoise eyes settled on the boy once more as Enishi's lips curled into a smirk. "Then you should have brought Battousai with you. I won't let her go until my jinchuu is satisfied."

A snort sounded, quickly followed by a sarcastic remark. "You won't have too long to wait."

Enishi looked up to see Saitou watching him intently as he nursed his cigarette. Exhaling a plume of smoke, the yellow-eyed police officer continued, "Battousai is as good as dead. He hasn't truly been _ 'Battousai' _ since the Revolution."

Enishi said nothing. 'As good as dead' was not dead. Battousai was getting the punishment he deserved. If they had patience and allowed jinchuu to run its course, such a confrontation would not be necessary.

"I don't care about your grudge with Battousai," Saitou continued, "nor do I particularly care about the Kamiya girl."

"Aku, soku, zan?" Enishi asked as Saitou took a step forward and dropped his finished cigarette to the ground.

Saitou answered him by unsheathing his nihontou in one smooth motion and preparing himself to strike. Enishi unsheathed his tachi and the two locked eyes. The samurai boy was pulled back by the street fighter as space was cleared for the two men. The air grew thick with tension as each man waited to see who would make the first move.

With a slightly maniacal smirk, Enishi surprised everyone by being the first to strike.

* * *

**AN:** So, what do you think? I know it's taking a while to get to the whole "pairing-romance" thing, but it wouldn't be believable if I just jumped into it without giving them something to work with first. Don't worry though, you'll get your tender moments soon enough. In fact, you'll get a pseudo tender moment next chapter...

Anyway, thanks for reading! I appreciate all of the review so far and I'm hungry for more. Feedback is good, even if it's critical. I'm a big girl, I can take it (just ask Thunk). On a side note, anyone here draw fanart? Like, _ Enishi/Kaoru_ fanart...? hehehehe.

Okay, onto the business at hand. I used some terms in this chapter that some of you may not be familiar with OR maybe you just need a reminder about them, so I'll define those terms here.

Su Shen - Heishin's bodyguards which are named after the four points of the Chinese compass; Genbu represents the North and his weapon is a long, flexible, jointed (and expanding) staff that can be used like a normal staff or twirled around like nunchakus

Hawatari - The Kamiya Kasshin Ryu attack succession technique where the user forms an X above the head and twists their wrists. If used right, it can be a killing technique. Yahiko alters the move against Genbu by grabbing the end of the staff and preventing it from flexing

Nihontou - Saitou's sword; Japanese katana (Relative Size 26-30 inches)

Tachi - Enishi's sword; combines a Chinese hilt with a Japanese blade (Relative size 30 inches and over)

Aku, soku, zan - Slay - evil - immediately (I'm sure most of you know that one already)

The Let It Burn website is an excellent resource for all things Rurouni Kenshin.


	8. chapter seven :: casting lots

**AN:** What the hell is up with fanfiction DOT net screwing up my scene breaks? Good grief, talk about annoying. :(

* * *

**Catharsis**

**casting lots  
**.:chapter seven:.

* * *

The cool breeze coming off of the ocean did little to comfort Misao's growing unease. Palms sweaty and muscles tense, the adrenaline flooding her body made her hands tremble in an embarrassing way. Worry was twisting her stomach into knots. Almost painfully. Saitou appeared to have the advantage, but Misao felt no comfort from that observation. The fight didn't _feel_ right to her. Enishi didn't feel right.

He was enjoying himself too much, even though he seemed to be losing.

A fresh surge of distress and fear bubbled up inside her. What if Enishi was stronger than they expected? What if he was playing with them? What if they lost? Try as she might, the nagging sense of unease refused to go away. The sooner they beat Enishi, found Kaoru and got off the island, the better.

Sudden movement in the distance caught her attention. Her first thoughts were of the Chinese man from earlier. In his rage he had promised to return and kill them all. With foreign weapons. Guns from the West, most likely. But Enishi had dealt with him, knocking him unconscious with a single strike. Flinging her braid over her shoulder, the ninja girl quickly surveyed the beach. The Chinese man was indeed missing.

_'Oh, no...' _

Muscles sore with tension, Misao squinted against the bright sunlight. It _had_ to be the Chinese guy. The person coming their way seemed pretty small... girly, almost...

"Is that... _Jou-chan?_" Sano said, seeing the same distant figure. His words were nearly lost by the sounds of the fight.

Misao held her breath and silently prayed that it was. Shielding her eyes with her hand, she leaned forward. It was difficult to see anything with the brightness of the sun reflecting off of the whiteness of the sand at their feet. It suddenly made sense why Enishi wore glasses with such dark lenses. It seemed to be to his advantage to do so under such circumstances.

As the figure joggled closer to them, Misao was finally able to make out the long, black hair swaying with every gait. She exhaled in relief as Yahiko called out her name.

"Kaoru!"

Yahiko's cry brought the fight to a sudden standstill. The aura of anxiety lifted almost immediately as everyone seemed to clamor over the arrival of Kaoru. Everyone seemed to relax at once, as though nothing bad could happen now that she had arrived. Only Enishi seemed to be displeased.

Looking over his shoulder, he watched her progress as she steadily made her way toward them. Anger tightened his expression as he held his sword in a white-knuckled grip. His back pointed at her and sword extended, Enishi moved to block her path to her friends.

Then he waited.

The only person not completely distracted by the arrival of Kamiya was his opponent, Saitou. But even he seemed mildly curious to find out what would happen now that the hostage was apparently free. Thoroughly pissed off, Enishi studied her would-be rescuers, noting the sincere expressions of relief and happiness. The boy, Yahiko, looked particularly relieved. Joyful even. The righteous anger the boy radiated from earlier was gone. In its place was a face splitting grin.

Envious of his solace, a stab of hatred pierced Enishi's heart. When he felt her presence was only a few feet away the architect of Jinchuu finally spoke.

"Kamiya, _stop._"

He heard her pause in mid-step. When she spoke, he could tell that she was clearly taken aback by the grave tone of his voice.

"Enishi..?"

He ignored her, and pointed his weapon at Saitou. "You. Let's settle this."

A blur of motion and the two men resumed their fight. Contrasting styles struggled against one another before an uneasy audience. Only one soul appeared unaffected by the fray as he slowly made his way toward his Sensei. Just as Yahiko felt the tingling of victory itch along his skin, a hand reached out and snagged his collar. The force of it nearly lifting him off the ground.

"It's safer if you stay here," the street fighter said without looking at him.

Yahiko yanked against Sano's grip, "Bullshit."

The street fighter released him suddenly and the boy stumbled forward. Muttering an obscenity, Yahiko kicked Sano in the shins.

Sano glared down at him. "Don't be stupid, brat. You heard the way that freak talked when Jou-chan showed up. It's better for her if we keep our distance for now. Who knows what Psycho will do if people start moving around."

"Pft. Saitou can handle him," Yahiko said, stepping toward Kaoru.

The hand collared him again and the Tokyo Samurai found himself unable to move forward for a second time.

"Have you even been watching this fight?"

Yahiko ignored him as he began trying to pry Sano's fingers off him.

"I'm serious, Yahiko. This isn't a joke. Just stay here for now," the street fighter ordered, leaving no room for argument.

The boy snorted and folded his arms over his chest. A minute ticked by and Yahiko kicked at the sand. After another couple of minutes, he elbowed Sano in the ribs and muttered, "Looks like Weasel-girl disagrees with you, Rooster-head."

"What?"

Yahiko simply pointed his chin in Kaoru's direction and Sano swore under his breath.

• • •

"Kaoru!" a voice whispered from beside her, causing the kendo instructor to jump. Misao spared her a quick smile before returning her attention to the fight, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she whispered back.

"I'm so glad you're here," Misao said in a rush, "That means we can leave and Aoshi-sama won't have to fight that guy. We were all really worried—"

"Where is Kenshin?" Kaoru interrupted, her eyes a mix of emotion.

"He... he's in Tokyo. He wouldn't..." Misao hesitated at Kaoru's pained expression and quickly tried to backtrack, "He _couldn't _come."

"Which is it?" Kaoru asked, sotto voce. Her lips begin to tremble as tears threatened.

With a deep exhale, Misao said, "Both."

"_Both?_"

The ninja girl bit her lip and offered her a sympathetic look, but Kaoru refused to return her gaze. Fighting for composure, she kept her chin high as she watched the men clash. Enishi parried a strike, positioning him in Kaoru's immediate line of sight. His turquoise eyes met her blue and she noticed a fresh bruise beginning to form along his cheekbone. Worry forced her lips to part soundlessly before guilt made her look away. Why should she worry about _him?_ Staring down at her hands folded in front of her, Kaoru blinked back tears in vain.

Misao squeezed her friend's arm fondly. "Kaoru," she said softly, "we all thought you were dead. He's been in Rakunimura since your funeral_."_

Kaoru winced.

"He won't talk to anyone," the ninja girl continued, "He won't eat, won't move..."

A sudden shout and Saitou's sword was blocked. A battle of strength ensued between the two men as they pushed against each other. Saitou shifted his weight, took a half step forward and punched Enishi across the jaw. Kaoru flinched as Enishi staggered backwards.

"So Kenshin didn't come because he thinks I'm dead," she said.

Misao nervously bit her lip. She didn't want to be the one to hurt her friend but it wasn't in her nature to lie to her friends. "We..." she paused, took a deep breath and whispered, "We told him that you're alive. At least, we tried to."

Eyes squeezed shut in an attempt to slow her tears, Kaoru willed herself to not breakdown.

"What... what do you mean?" she asked, voice barely above a whisper. When Misao did not immediately answer her, Kaoru turned to peer at her friend. The compassion and pity reflected in the ninja-girl's eyes nearly pushed Kaoru over the edge. But at that moment, Kamiya stubbornness finally kicked in. With a deep, cleansing breath, Kaoru stood tall with shoulders straight and a fist clenched at her side. She could not, would not, lose control of her emotions. Not when the lives of her friends were in danger. There would be time to cry, but not yet. Not now.

"Tell me," Kaoru said, voice steady. "Please."

Misao inclined her head as she assessed her friend, then, "Megumi told us that Tsubame-chan confronted Kenshin several days ago. At the time she was afraid that Yahiko would be killed. Kenshin ignored her. She thought that if she told him that you were alive that he would 'wake up. '"

"He didn't."

"No," Misao confirmed. "He did not."

Kaoru flinched, but said nothing.

"I told him again a couple of days before we left," Misao continued as she stole a glance at the older girl out of the corners of her eyes. "He didn't react at all."

"Is he unwell?" Kaoru asked.

Misao paused for a moment, then said, "He isn't taking care of himself, but he doesn't appear to be ill. I don't know how to describe him right now. It's like he's just empty inside. After the funeral... he just hasn't been the same. Aoshi-sama doesn't think he is even aware of what is happening around him right now."

The clashing sounds of battle forced the ninja girl to pause. As much as she felt it was important to tell Kaoru everything, it would be unwise to not pay attention to the fight. At any moment, something could go wrong. The fight could move toward the spectators or a combatant could lose his footing and stumble into a bystander, possibly impaling them. In such a situation it would be up to the observer to move out of the way. And at that point, timing was everything.

Strength against strength, metal against metal. One pushed forward and the other pushed back. Saitou parried Enishi's strike. A high pitched whine filled her ears as blade slid against blade. Then the police officer did a sudden half turn and elbowed Enishi in the solar plexus. Swallowing hard, Misao stole another glance at the older girl beside her and mentally cringed. Though Kaoru stood tall with forced confidence, her eyes shined with pain.

"Kenshin is still alive," Misao said quickly, trying to put some light back into her friend's heart. "Megumi had Sano move him to her clinic just before we left. He's malnourished and his wounds haven't healed properly, but he's getting medical attention. Megumi has even manged to get him to start eating again. Not much, but at least it's something."

"What did Megumi say?" Kaoru asked. "Will he be okay?"

"She seems to think so," Misao replied. Her words appeared to have a positive effect. Kaoru looked somewhat relieved, but heartbroken still.

"Did she say—" Kaoru paused in mid-sentence as Saitou flowed into an offensive posture. The two men were slowly circling each other. The tension between them was growing exponentially. The final phase of the fight would soon begin.

Just when Misao thought Enishi would dart forward to strike, Saitou's mocking voice caught her attention. Both women heard him at the same time and strained to listen to his words. Bits and pieces could be heard over the sound of the ocean waves, but not enough to make out the full context of what Saitou was saying. As the two women leaned forward to hear, two distinct words fell from Saitou's lips, instantly transforming the atmosphere of the fight from hostile to downright vicious.

• • •

_Revolution. Tomoe._

The words were clear and the tone unmistakable. Kaoru could hardly believe that Saitou would actually go so far as to taunt Enishi about the death of his sister.

The rigidity in Enishi's stance immediately changed, causing the already tight knot of dread in Kaoru's belly to twist painfully. Whatever it was that the police officer had said up until that point wasn't good. And it was only getting worse. It was clear from the devilish look in Saitou's yellow eyes that he was pushing Enishi on purpose. Trepidation squeezed her throat as Kaoru took a few more steps forward and leaned toward the men, listening.

"...a simple job, too," Saitou said casually, "She was a pawn from the beginning. Her death was expected. You realize that, don't you?"

Malice seemed to ooze from Enishi, but he said nothing. The currents of air swishing between them felt charged with his hate as he listened to the Miburo.

"She knew she was a pawn," Saitou's yellow-eyes crinkled as his lips snaked into a malicious grin. "Her job was to find Battousai's weakness, even if that meant being his weakness herself. Why else would she willingly choose to become his _whore?_"

Blue eyes doubled in size and Kaoru covered her mouth with her hand.

"Did... did he just call that guy's sister a whore?" Misao hissed.

Kaoru could only nod as she studied Enishi. He barely flinched when Saitou insulted his sister's memory. Only seconds later did Kaoru see the beginnings of his reaction. A mild tremor in Enishi's sword arm quickly grew into shivers of rage.

"Have I offended you? Have I finally riled you up?" Saitou asked sarcastically, his sadistic amusement dissolving into blood lust. "I hope so. I, for one, am sick and tired of this little game. Make this trip worth my while and fight at your capacity!"

To everyone's surprise, Enishi laughed. The sound was chilling.

"I won't kill you, Miburo."

"Then you're as stupid as your sister," Saitou said, lowering himself into an offensive crouch.

Enishi seemed not to notice. "I'll let you live the rest of your life as a cripple," he said as he locked eyes with Saitou. "I'll make it so you'll have to stick your face in a bowl and eat like a dog. I'll give you a long life of needing someone to wipe your ass for you."

The policeman grinned, enjoying the wild look he saw in his opponent's eyes. "Really?"

Enishi smirked in return.

"How do you think you'll be able to do that?" Saitou asked, clearly amused. "You're not my equal. You're barely worth my time as it is."

"No, I'm not your equal," Enishi agreed, his grin growing maniacal. "I'm superior_._ I'm faster, stronger and far more intelligent. I have a gift uniquely given to me."

Saitou snorted.

"My sister gave me that gift so I could destroy Battousai," silver hair feathered in the breeze as Enishi spoke. "Every day of my life since the day he murdered her, I have hated him. Spring, summer, autumn, winter... day or night... rain or shine... I _hated_ him. It was as though my mind fed off of my hatred for him."

The young women stared in morbid fascination as they watched Enishi's skin begin to bulge.

"I spent night after night consumed with my rage and hate," he continued, his voice growing more caustic and cold with each word. "I planned and plotted my revenge even as my body rested in a sleep-like state. My brain never slept because I never stopped thinking of revenge!"

Tendrils of nerves rose across his face and chest, giving the appearance of thin cables pulling at his flesh. "_This _is my gift!" he shouted a split second before he struck.

Enishi's blade grazed Saitou's shoulder as he leapt backward. Kaoru chewed her lip helplessly, worry eating at her guts. How could she possibly hope to stop him now?

"H-he's gotten so much faster!" Misao gasped.

Kaoru said nothing as she eyed the fight.

"Aoshi-sama looks... he looks... _worried!_" the ninja girl lamented.

Hands curled into tight fists, Kaoru studied Enishi. This was a side of him that she had never seen before. He was more dangerous now than he was the night he confronted Kenshin and kidnapped her. The violence was feeding his mania and Kaoru feared that the longer the fight dragged out, the more bloodthirsty he would become. Kaoru knew that her friends would not simply walk away from the fight. And once Saitou was dispatched, Enishi would turn to Aoshi. And then Sano.

Kaoru could not let that happen.

"He's even stronger than Himura... isn't he?!"

"I don't know," Kaoru answered honestly.

"Himura defeated Aoshi-sama..." the girl whispered, raw fear reflecting in her eyes.

"Misao," Kaoru grabbed the girl's hand and gave her a reassuring squeeze. "Calm down. I won't let him kill anyone."

Scoffing, Misao turned tear-filled eyes toward the girl beside her. "_How!?_"

All at once, Kaoru knew what she had to do.

"He can't hurt me," she said simply.

"What are you talking about!?" Misao hissed, her eyes darting from Enishi to Aoshi and back again. "Look at him!"

"Trust me. He's incapable of hurting me because of Tomoe's death," Kaoru said as the fight before them increased in intensity. Her muscles tensed in preparation as she worked up her courage to intervene, only to hear Misao suddenly gasp.

"Oh! I have it!"

Kaoru looked askance at the girl as Saitou lowered himself into a gatotsu stance.

"Tomoe! I brought it with me," reaching behind her to loosen her obi, she said, "Aoshi-sama made me bring it."

At that moment, the policeman struck.

Kaoru didn't see Misao holding the diary out to her. Heart pounding hard in her chest, the kendo instructor was far too focused on the fight to notice. Saitou rushed toward Enishi, sword extended. She blinked, and Enishi was gone. In a blur of motion he suddenly slid to the left and the kendo instructor's mouth fell open in muted shock.

The master of watoujutsu didn't just evade the gatotsu, he managed to move into an offensive position as Kenshin had once done. Now Enishi was standing in an area of dead space. The gatotsu was a near-impossible attack to defend due to it's sheer speed, strength and accuracy. However, it had one, small flaw. Due to the charging nature of the attack, the user's field of view became extremely narrow once the thrust began. Therefore, there was an area where the user would be unable to defend himself without a delayed reaction. At that moment, the battle would be decided by pure speed.

Kaoru knew the exact moment when Saitou realized his opponent had entered that dead space. Sword swung wide as Saitou moved his arm in an arc meant to disembowel his opponent. A flash of steel and suddenly blood splashed in the air. Amber eyes wide with disbelief, Saitou could only stare as blood poured from the stump on the end of his sword arm. His dismembered hand lay on the sand, still clutching the nihontou. Enishi kicked the sword away as the Miburo's mouth opened and closed soundlessly.

"Do you see the gift my sister gave me?" Enishi asked with a feral grin, "Do you understand?"

Saitou grit his teeth.

"Because of my hatred for Battousai, my body changed," Enishi explained, eyes glinting sadistically. "My brain constantly stimulated my nerves through my spine so they grew thicker and reacted faster."

Hate and desperation filled Saitou's eyes. The crazed look narrowed into wrath as he glowered at Enishi.

"This is my ultimate ability," Enishi's lips parted into a wide smile. "This is the gift my sister blessed me with. The Nerves of Insanity!"

Saitou snarled and curled his remaining hand into a tight fist. Bolting forward, the policeman punched Enishi across the jaw. Horrified, Kaoru watched as Enishi simply smiled. Saitou was going to finish the fight. To the death.

"No!" Kaoru screamed, eyes wide.

The policeman struck Enishi across the face again, sending him back and few steps but not knocking him down. Amused, Enishi tensed his muscles and the tendrils of nerves along his shoulders and arms bulged grotesquely. Another blur of motion and suddenly the policeman's right foot was severed from his body, too.

"Two down," Enishi grinned, twirling his blade like a toy. "Two to go."

_'Stop him!'_ Kaoru's mind screamed, propelling her forward with the intent to put herself between the two men. Enishi roughly grabbed her by the arm and yanked her toward him. The momentum caused the girl to stumble face-first toward his chest. One arm wrapped around her waist as the other automatically held the sword up defensively. Suddenly, Kaoru was in no position to stop Enishi from doing anything.

Kaoru's cheek pressed hard against his chest, she was suddenly very aware of the state of his body. The sound of his heart beating thundered in her ear as she felt the cords of nerves that bulged under his skin against her face. Those nerves felt strangely hard. His whole body felt more artificial than human at that moment_._ But the heat radiating from him was almost suffocating.

Saitou's blood stained her robe as Enishi adjusted his hold on her. One hand against his chest and the other wrapped around his bicep, Kaoru tried to push herself away from him. She needed to see him, to look at him directly and gauge his mental state with her own eyes. But his attention remained focused on his maimed adversary. Enishi simply squeezed her tighter against himself and she didn't budge at all. His embrace wasn't painful, but it was unyielding. Realizing that he wouldn't let her go, Kaoru did the only thing she could. She relaxed against him. Her entire body went limp in his arms, thus forcing him to support her weight.

That strategy caught his attention. With Kaoru in his arms like that, he was in no position to effectively strike. Nor was he able to defend himself should the Oniwabanshu leader decide to take action. He growled a Chinese expletive under his breath, but still, he would not let her go.

"Enishi," Kaoru whispered. "Please... please don't do this_._"

• • •

The soft, feminine curves of her body against his, the tickle of her breath as she spoke, the feel of her breasts pressing against him as she breathed - the combined sensations were almost too much for his hypersensitive flesh. The stimulation sent a strangely pleasant chill down his spine and stirred desires long ignored.

"Enishi," she whispered, voice soothing and intimate. Her words were pitched for his ears alone. "Please... please don't do this."

The pleasant sensation of her nearness instantly dissolved into a renewed surge of anger. Jaw clenched and decision made, he pushed Kamiya back and released her from his embrace. She didn't need to stand for him to direct her movements. If the girl was going to be difficult and not cooperate, he would simply drag her out of harm's way.

Fortunately the stubborn girl decided to stop behaving like a ragdoll, but she still insisted on acting stupid. Without a moment's hesitation, she attempted to stand in his way again. Enishi snarled and grabbed her roughly her by the arm, keeping her in place beside him. It was then that he heard the metallic click from his immediate left. Without looking, he knew it was Heishin. Regret flashed through his mind. He should have killed the power-hungry bastard outright.

Legs wobbly and face horribly swollen and bloody, Heishin aimed his gun at them. Kamiya gasped at the sight. Her friends dared not move. Enishi simply glared at his former second-in-command. If he moved now, Enishi could kill him easily. But not without risking Heishin having the reflexes to squeeze the trigger the moment he moved. With his finger on the trigger, it would take less than a second for him to fire. Normally, that wouldn't be a problem. But if Enishi moved now Kamiya would be unprotected.

Jaw clenched, Enishi waited and watched. His moment to strike would come. He simply had to wait for it. As he observed his former second-in-command, Enishi noted the way Heishin's hands trembled from the effort of standing. The Chinese man blinked several times, his eyes losing their focus for a moment before determination snapped him back.

Then he smiled. Lips and teeth stained with blood, Heishin grinned at him.

* * *

**AN:** No, I didn't create that loophole in the gatotsu. I didn't even know it existed until I started to do some research for this fic. Sure enough, that whole thing about there being a dead spot in Saitou's field of vision when he charges is true. Sorry I had to dismember him like that. Hope I didn't offend any of his fans. Since Enishi is so revenge obsessed, I had to do something! Besides, this is fanfiction. :p

Thanks again for reading and reviewing! You guys are awesome!


	9. chapter eight :: providence

**Catharsis**

**providence  
**.:chapter eight:.

* * *

The girl barely noticed as Enishi pulled her closer to him. He felt a grimace ripple through her body when Heishin's bloodied lips parted to show a pair of broken teeth. The grin trembled angrily when Enishi finally pulled the girl behind him, shielding her completely.

"One shot, Heishin," Enishi warned, the muscles lining his jaw twitched irritably. "You have only _one_ shot."

Heishin grinned. Without a word, he squeezed the trigger. Enishi reacted with the sound of the gun and the sting in his chest. Shoving Kaoru to the ground, Enishi pounced, sword poised to kill. One swipe and Enishi cleanly decapitated Heishin. A disembodied head landed on the sandy earth with a dull thud. Blood spurted from arteries still being powered by a beating heart.

Standing over his kill, Enishi glanced over his shoulder, his eyes seeking Kamiya. For the first time since he'd known her, he saw fear in her countenance. Face pale, lips parted, Kaoru's blue eyes were wide with the sight of blood. He hated seeing that look.

Then she moved. Backwards. Away from him and toward her friends. The realization sent a pang of jealous rage through is mind. She was to stay with _him._

"You," Enishi pointed his sword at the leader of the Oniwabanshu, anger revitalizing him. "For interfering with my Jinchuu, you're next."

• • •

She'd seen men cut down by the sword before. She'd seen blood and death in her time. She knew what men looked like after losing a sword fight. But never had she witnessed a decapitation before. She knew it happened sometimes. Everyone knew that. But to see it... the overwhelming amount of blood, the body twitching uncontrollably, the disembodied head still moving for several seconds afterward...

'_Oh, Kami..._'

Heart pounding hard in her chest, Kaoru felt like she was going to throw up. All she knew at that moment was that she wanted to put as much distance between the corpse and herself as possible. She moved without thinking, inching away from the nightmarish sight.

"You," she heard Enishi say, his voice filled with hate and anger. "For interfering with my Jinchuu, you're next."

It wasn't his words that caught her attention. It was his tone. He was deadly serious. Pulling herself together, she scrambled to her feet. This had to stop. Now.

"No!" she yelled. "This does not concern _any_ of them!"

"Jinchuu remains in effect," he replied vitriolically. He spoke without looking at her, his eyes remained fixed on the leader of the Oniwabanshu.

Enishi's words from the day before roared to the forefront of her mind. _'Jinchuu would not exist were it not for that _murderer!_ If you wish to _blame_ someone for the welfare of your friends, blame Battousai! He is the beginning and end of _your_ misery and _mine!_'_

Kaoru suddenly understood why he locked her in her room. If he meant to kill everyone then Saitou would be dead. It wasn't his intention to kill her friends. His intention was to send another message of guilt to Kenshin. Instead of killing, he would maim those who threatened him the most. Frightened, she knew what she had to do. In order to protect her friends, she would have to stay with him.

_'The diary!'_

Bottom lip caught between teeth, Kaoru spotted Misao kneeling next to Saitou. The ninja girl was busy tearing her obi into thin strips as she prepared a tourniquet for his leg. The diary was laying on the sand beside her, near an ever growing pool of blood. Kaoru stole one more glance at Enishi before moving toward the girl.

Saitou was barely hanging on to consciousness as he focused his hatred. The massive loss of blood prevented him from resisting Misao's efforts to help, but that didn't stop him from making the task extremely difficult. It was sheer stubbornness that kept his eyes open and directed toward Enishi. Despite Misao's attempt to stop the bleeding, the liquid continued to seep, further weakening the warrior. He didn't flinch or look her way when Kaoru scooped up the diary without a word. The sudden motion gave Misao a start.

"Kaoru!" Misao gasped, her voice stressed. "Help me tie this." She nodded toward the make-shift bandages.

Depositing the diary in the inner folds of her robe, Kaoru knelt down beside her. Both girls winced at the sound of blade against blade. She had to stop him before he hurt Aoshi, too. Knot tied, Kaoru stood once more.

"Wait!" the ninja girl protested, "I still need to—"

"I'm going to stop him," she said in a low voice.

Misao eyed the battle and swallowed hard, but said nothing.

Kaoru gathered her courage and strode forward, a forced look of confidence keeping her chin high. Misao's mouth fell open as the kendo instructor steadily moved toward the battle and then proceeded to put herself between the two men.

Enraged, Enishi glared at the girl.

"_Move,_ Kamiya," he growled, eyes practically glowing with venom. "Now!"

She turned to face him fully. "Let them go, Enishi."

He ground his teeth as he scowled at her.

"You made your point through Saitou," she continued. "For the sake of your jinchuu, I'll stay here with you."

The sudden stillness that followed her words wrapped itself around her and threatened to choke her resolve. She kept her eyes on Enishi, not only to watch his reaction, but to cement her sincerity in his mind. She meant what she said and she wanted him to see that.

Kaoru felt Enishi's turquoise eyes stare into her, heavy with disbelief. He said nothing, but she saw his thoughts clearly. Determined, she repeated herself and forced the subject home.

"I'll stay. _Willingly._"

• • •

Mouth agape and eyes wide, Yahiko stared at Kaoru as though she just sprouted a second head. He had to have heard her wrong. There was no way buso was that dumb! She could act like a total idiot sometimes, but she wasn't stupid. She was just... weird. All tomboys like her were weird.

_'Maybe it's an act,'_ Yahiko thought desperately, eyeing the strange couple before him. Enishi seemed to let down his guard with Kaoru, even in his agitated state. Perhaps buso was planning to use that to their advantage somehow. Distract him, maybe? He doubted she had a weapon on her...

_'That doesn't sound like Kaoru,'_ Yahiko thought, _'that sounds like something Megumi would do and Kaoru_—_'_

"I'll stay," his sensei repeated, voice even stronger than before. "_Willingly._"

Exasperated, all Yahiko could think to do was yell. "Buuuusooooo!"

Fortunately for him, Sano was a bit more eloquent. "What th_e _fuck are you talking about!?" he demanded, closing the distance between himself and Kaoru.

The hate in Enishi's eyes as he watched the street fighter approach the girl worried Yahiko. Sanosuke might have actually known what he was talking about when he said it would be best if everyone maintained their distance from Kaoru. The white-haired psycho suddenly seemed more than a little fixated on his sensei.

"You heard me," Kaoru said, squaring her shoulders and lifting her chin as she regarded the street fighter. "I'm staying."

Yahiko felt his ears grow hot as he choked the hilt of his shinai in a death grip. How could she possibly say something like that? Sano didn't seem to be faring the news any better. Disgust and anger clouded the street fighter's face as he looked from Kaoru to Enishi and back again.

"Hell no!" Sano spat, hand clenched into tight fists, "We're _not _leaving you here. I don't know what that bastard said or did to you to make you think that you want to stay, but it's not happening!"

Yahiko quickly glanced in Enishi's direction. Jaw clenched and muscles still, the psycho watched Sano as Sano watched Kaoru. The kendo instructor's lips tightened into a thin line, but she remained mute. Her refusal to speak only aggravated the rooster head further. Lips curled back in repugnance, he swore under his breath.

"What about Kenshin?" Yahiko asked suddenly, "He _ needs _ you."

"Megumi is taking care of him," she said automatically. "He'll be fine."

"So you're ditching him?" Sano asked, his mouth slanting angrily.

Kaoru felt her heart twist in her chest. "I'm helping him more by staying here_._"

"That's bullshit!" the street fighter yelled.

"That's truth!"

Sano snorted and gave Enishi a hard look. Expression dark, he shifted his eyes back to Kaoru. "You have a thing for Psycho there, don't you?" he asked sarcastically.

Kaoru visibly stiffened. "Enishi is Kenshin's enemy," she said in measured tones, "not ours_._"

"You mean, '_not_ _mine.'_" Sano muttered, his disgust obvious.

Hearing enough, Kaoru slapped Sano soundly across the face.

The two stared at each other for a long moment. Then Sano whispered, eyes cold, "Did you hit me because I said something untrue, or because the truth hurts?"

"You don't know what you're talking about, Sanosuke," Kaoru said, sotto voce, "He'll maim you all just to torture Kenshin, but he will _kill_ you if you keep insisting that I return with you. I'm perfectly safe here. Enishi won't hurt me_._"

Sano scoffed and looked past Kaoru to eye Enishi. "So you're trading yourself for us. Is that it?"

"If Megumi is taking care of Kenshin," the girl repeated carefully, trying to maintain control over her voice, "then I'm sure he'll recover and be able to confront Enishi himself later."

"Riiiiight," Sano drawled with a sneer. "So you'll just stay here in the meantime and hope that Psycho over there won't decide to kill you after Kenshin dies, right? 'Cause he's such a trustworthy guy and everything."

Kaoru bristled.

"Well, you might not have long to wait, Jou-chan," Sano continued, unfazed. "Kenshin could be dead already. Last time I saw him he didn't even have the strength to stand, but I guess that's to be expected since he hasn't eaten anything since you were buried."

Tears slipping down her cheeks unchecked, Kaoru whispered, "You... don't..."

Sano clenched his jaw as he watched her struggle. "You still want to stay?"

Kaoru squeezed her eyes shut and gave a jerky nod.

"Fine," was the gruff reply and Sano turned away from her and headed toward the shore.

Yahiko watched the street fighter walk away before he confronted Kaoru. Eyes swirling with emotion, he asked, "You... you're really serious?"

"Yes," was the simple reply.

"Buso, you _idiot!_"

Kaoru glowered, lips curling into an angry retort when she saw the genuine hurt and confusion that clouded Yahiko's eyes. Features instantly soft, she lowered her voice for only him to hear. "I know you came here to take me home, but you have to trust me. I know what I'm doing."

• • •

"You honestly believe that you can help Battousai by staying, don't you?" Enishi asked, his back to the girl as he stepped into the house.

She followed suit, muteness clinging to her.

Anger still haunted him. The foolish girl interrupted his fight not once, but twice! The pain from his wounds and her attitude since her friends decided to leave only irritated him further. Worse, she was mopping_._ It was aggravating.

Enishi pushed the question again, "_Don't_ you?"

"I don't know for sure," the girl admitted finally, voice small.

Her refusal to answer the question outright left him incensed. Why deny the obvious? She had no other reason to stay _ other_ than to interfere with jinchuu. Gritting his teeth, Enishi tried to swallow the surge of anger from her evasiveness.

"Don't be coy," he said, trying to provoke the truth from her once more. "You said it yourself. You really think you can protect him by staying here_._"

"No," Kamiya said, her continued denial squeezing his hands into tight fists, "I did it to protect my friends."

Enishi faced her fully, openly scoffing. "Is that right?" he asked, voice heavy with sarcastic doubt.

Kamiya met his eyes, "I'm not in any danger here, but they are."

Enishi chuckled. "You're such a martyr, Kamiya."

The girl opened her mouth to speak, but Enishi quickly cut her off.

Expression dark, he continued, "Not to mention a _liar._ You should have listened to that Sagara bastard." Lips pulled back into a cold smile, "As soon as my sister smiles for me again, I'll have no reason to keep you alive."

• • •

She was too angry with him to make lunch for him, so she didn't. She considered skipping dinner, too, but guilt had a way of overriding pride and anger. It was a trait she sometimes wished she didn't possess. Pride swallowing could be a very bitter affair and Kaoru preferred not to endure it. Even so, she did have a purpose in staying. Protecting her friends was only part of it.

Tomoe's diary was almost equally important. Intuition told her the journal was the only truly effective weapon and treatment to use on Enishi. He needed the truth and the only person who could give it to him was the same person he trusted completely. Tomoe's own words would slay his heart.

In spite of herself, she worried about the effect the truth would have on him. Would he crumble and lose his mind completely? Or would his heart finally begin to heal after 15 years of pain?

_'Maybe Enishi's right,'_ Kaoru thought as she tucked the diary under her arm, _'I should have listened to Sano. I might not be safe here after all.'_

Dinner tray in hand, Kaoru headed toward Enishi's room. She relied on her earlier anger to fuel her confidence as she approached his room. She was pleased to see that the door was cracked open. Hands too full to knock, she pushed the door open and strode inside.

Enishi watched her silently when she entered the room, an unreadable expression shining in his eyes. Freshly bathed and hair still wet, Enishi sat shirtless as he wrapped gauze around his chest. Kaoru's eyes were drawn to the stain of blood seeping through the bandage, just under his pectoral muscle.

Kaoru didn't recognize the wound. When did he get it? How?

Turquoise eyes glared and Kaoru quickly averted her attention to the table in front of him. "Dinner," she said, setting the tray down before him.

She met his eyes then and saw an up-close view of the purple bruise along his cheekbone. Still glaring, Kaoru broke eye contact and looked at his bare torso.

"How did you injure your chest?" she asked, focusing on the small blood stain. "I didn't see a blade touch you."

He wrapped another layer of gauze around him. "Heishin."

Kaoru blinked. "You got shot?!" She leaned forward and the diary fell to the floor. Reaching for the bandage to get a look at the wound, she slapped Enishi's hand when he tried to push her away. "Why didn't you say anything?! You need a doctor!"

Pulling back the dressing, she paused. It was already partially stitched. "You... you didn't remove the bullet yourself... did you?"

He pulled back from her and readjusted the gauze without a word. Kaoru watched him begin wrapping again and suppressed a shiver. Not only did he dig the thing out himself, but he sewed the wound. It looked painful. _'Gross.'_

An uncomfortable silence filled the room.

"Are you really... okay?"

Enishi gave an annoyed sigh and explained the situation. "The bullet didn't cause much damage. When I use the gift that my sister gave me it hardens my musculature as well as my nerves."

"...oh..."

"In addition to his piss poor aim," Enishi continued, "I suspect the idiot didn't load the gun properly."

As he was speaking, Kaoru had stepped forward and offered her assistance. He glared at her for only a moment before grudgingly accepting her help. '_He's being cooperative awfully fast,_' she thought as she pulled the bandages from his grasp and began to secure them into place. '_He must be more tired than I originally suspected._'

"I know you're tired," she said. "Do you need anything? I can—"

"I'm fine," Enishi interrupted curtly.

The awkward silence returned. Kaoru hesitated for a moment, wondering what to do.

"Did you came here to check on me?" he asked, voice hard and impatient. "Well, you've checked on me. I'm fine. I don't need you or your help. You can leave now."

Kaoru frowned at him, then bent down to retrieve the diary at her feet.

"No, the other reason I am here is to give you something," she said, pushing her hair out of her face. "I wanted to have this for you the night you fought Kenshin, but Misao was delayed. She had it with her today."

Enishi raised a brow quizzically.

"This is Tomoe-san's diary," she said, placing the book on the table.

The transformation of his expression was immediate. Where once there was anger and hardness, there was now open disbelief.

"H-how?" he asked, his fingers barely skimming the cover.

"Kenshin left it at a shrine in Kyoto after her death."

Enishi picked up his sister's journal with childlike awe. After several seconds of simply staring into the depths of the plain grayish-green cover, he carefully opened the diary. Pages slowly flipped past his thumb as he examined the handwriting within.

"It belongs to you," she said, seeing the recognition in his eyes. "I'm sorry it took so long for you to get it."

He did not acknowledge her. Already absorbed with the treasure in his hands, Kaoru saw her opportunity to leave. Slipping quietly from the room, she left Enishi alone with the private thoughts of his sister.

* * *

**AN:** I'm assuming Misao had the diary on her with her when she went to Enishi's island. The reason I think this is because as soon as they returned to Japan, Kaoru took the diary from Misao and promptly gave it to Enishi. That scene occurred as soon as they disembarked from the ship, so Misao obviously had the diary with her the entire time.


	10. chapter nine :: reality

**Catharsis**

**reality  
**.:chapter nine:.

* * *

The day after giving him the diary was filled with a gravid silence. He remained in the same chair he was in when Kaoru gave him the book. Still shirtless, hair a wild mess, Enishi sat and read. His eyes moved over each page slowly and meticulously as he mulled every word. It was as though Tomoe's handwriting was feeding his very soul.

Kaoru doubted he slept at all during the night. Respecting his privacy, she did her best not to disturb him. Short, gentle sentences alerted Enishi to a waiting meal. If he heard her, he gave no indication. Just as quietly as she entered, Kaoru left. Hours later, she would relent to concern and check on him. Each meal sat cold and untouched as Enishi obsessed only a few feet away. Not knowing what else to do, she retired for the night and the day ended just as it began. Anxious.

On the morning of the second day, her persistent nature asserted itself. Kaoru decided to insist that he eat. His unwavering focus on the journal made her tense. The more consumed he became, the more she worried about his reaction when he finished. Enishi was a spiritually wounded man who found the strength to live through his desire for revenge. If that desire was suddenly removed, his purpose would be lost. At that point, he would have nothing.

Courage set and determination raising her chin, Kaoru twisted the door knob to his room. Balancing a food laden tray against her hip, Kaoru stepped inside. Ease filled her as she took in the sight of him. Exhaustion finally won at some point during the night. Book opened to the median, Enishi slept in his chair.

Relief pulled up the corners of her lips. She considered leaving him to rest. Sleep would help settle his emotions and clear his mind. Plus, it would give his body a chance to heal.

_'But he hasn't eaten in at least a day,' _Kaoru bit her lip, _'probably longer...'_

Convinced that he needed sustenance as much as sleep, Kaoru approached him. Only when she placed the tray on the table did he stir. A pair of bloodshot eyes blinked open and met hers. Kaoru saw his bleary confusion and gave a light-hearted smile.

"Good morning," she said, uncovering a steaming bowl of rice. Enishi pushed himself up into a more upright position as he watched her. The meal arranged and ready for consumption, Kaoru took a seat across from him. "Go on, eat up," she motioned toward his breakfast, "I can't start until you do."

He blinked groggily and stared at the food sitting in front of himself and Kaoru. Seconds marched by as she waited.

"You've never eaten with me before," he said at last.

"I know," tense lips twitched up, "I thought you could use the company."

Seeing his expression begin to soften, her lips parted into a smile. Expectant blue eyes held his and Kaoru felt the weight of his weariness. Emotional exhaustion radiated from him in heavy waves. Only halfway through the book and it was already taking a toll on him.

Having not read the diary herself, Kaoru only knew what was in it because of Kenshin. He told her about it quietly on the evening of the day he explained his connection to Enishi. Later that same night, she decided to send word to Misao to locate the book. The journal gave Kenshin what he needed, it was past time for Enishi to glean from it. The last entry would be the most difficult for him to read. Both because of what it signified in Tomoe's life and what it said about her heart.

_'How will you react when you're finished with the journal, Enishi?' _

Hiding her worry, Kaoru filled his cup of tea. "Humor me," she said, tilting her head toward the food. "Please?"

Enishi stared blankly. Kaoru's smile faltered. Then, to her relief, he pulled the food toward him. Kaoru uncovered her bowl of rice as Enishi chewed. Caught up in his thoughts, his eyes pierced the cover of the diary as an unreadable expression clouded his features. Kaoru used the opportunity to study the exposed scratches and bruises as well as the bandages around his chest. Many of his bruises were already turning yellow. The deeper ones maintained their dark purple hue, especially the one on his cheekbone. The gauze around his chest wasn't doing him much good. The bandages hung too loosely around his frame.

"How does your chest feel?" she asked.

Enishi said nothing for several seconds, still staring at the journal.

"Enishi?"

His eyes rose to met hers.

"How does your chest feel?" she asked again.

"Fine."

"There's no pain?"

Enishi eyed her, a wary expression filtering across his features.

"That bullet wound probably needs to be cleaned," she said, ignoring the odd look he directed toward her. "And your bandages should be changed. The gauze is all stretched out and the knot is coming undone."

She paused and his silence continued. His staring was making her uncomfortable.

Eyes steady, she completed her offer. "I can tie a good bandage. I'll help you with that after breakfast if you want."

A strange questioning look filled his eyes. Kaoru blinked, and it was gone. In its place was a very familiar air of indifference. Undeterred, Kaoru knew what she saw. Something about _her_ was bothering him. She could feel it.

"Enishi? Is there some—"

"Why are you here?" he asked bluntly, cutting her off.

"I... what—"

"I don't _need_ your kindness," he glared at her.

Stunned, Kaoru twitched.

"You should leave."

Ire tingled along her spine. "W— what?"

Enishi remained acrid, further inciting Kaoru's temper.

Blue eyes sparkled angrily, "What do you mean—"

"Leave!" he roared as he bolted to his feet. His chair fell to the floor in a loud clatter.

Kaoru stared at him mutely, uncertain how to react to his demand. Anger and an unexpected sting of rejection swirled together inside her. Unable to look him in the eye any longer, Kaoru began to gather her dishes. Jaw clenched, she tried to ignore the feel of his glare as he stood over her. His irrational anger bore into her as she stacked one bowl on top of another. Finished, she looked at him once more before standing and then left the room without another word.

• • •

Doubts about her decision to stay kept rearing in her mind, threatening to shake her resolve. Her fretting lasted just long enough for stubbornness to kick into gear. Before long that stubbornness bolstered her confidence, enabling her to finally ignore those doubts. After that, most of the afternoon and evening were spent psyching herself up. Enishi would finish the diary soon and she needed to be ready for whatever reaction was in store for her.

When she stepped into the furo for her nightly bath, she felt ready. By the time she stepped out, a finger of anxiety was tapping her on the shoulder. _Again. _Frustrated and tired, Kaoru climbed into bed. The night was deep in its passing when sleep finally came to her. It descended warily, fighting tooth and nail with her qualms.

The quiet fell apart with a sudden crash. Her breath stolen, Kaoru was yanked out of a dead sleep. Blankets swept up in a tight fist, eyes wide and alert, Kaoru strained to listen. The house creaked on its foundation, a harsh wind whistled past her window, but the air around her remained still.

Minutes of silence passed and Kaoru began to wonder if she hadn't dreamed the whole thing. Settling herself back down, a door suddenly slammed somewhere down the hall and she yelped.

_'Enishi..!'_

Apprehension sucked at her nerves as Kaoru rose from her bed. She had to go to him. She didn't know what she would do when she found him, but she had to make certain he was alright.

Bare feet on the cold floor, Kaoru tightened the sash of her robe when the door swung open violently. It banged against the wall of her bedroom with a loud crack, sending the knob into the wall. Hair wild, eyes fierce and cheeks shining with wetness, Enishi stood before her. Kaoru suddenly felt very small and vulnerable. Like she did the night he kidnapped her.

They stared at each other as the wind pushed against the house. Then his lips pulled back as he hissed, "She loved him."

Kaoru swallowed hard.

**"****She loved him!"**

She flinched at the booming of his voice, but remained quiet.

He rubbed his face and murmured, "Loved_ him._"

Kaoru clenched her fists and took a half step forward.

"All this time," Enishi whispered, "I thought she hated him. I thought his living offended her..."

He trailed off and stared at the floor. A pained groan sounded from his throat and Kaoru empathized with his hurt.

His susurrate voice continued, "Have I been the one offending her all this time?"

The question felt so delicate that Kaoru wasn't certain she heard him speak. Biting her lip, she wondered what she should say or do. Another groan and Enishi pushed his hand through his hair and yanked. He seemed to be holding on to himself by an unraveling thread. Stealing herself, Kaoru closed the distance between them.

"Enishi..."

"She stopped smiling," he pressed himself against the door frame, "because she still loves him. Loves him _more..._"

"Enishi, you didn't know—"

"But you did," he suddenly snapped, glaring at her.

Kaoru blinked. "I—"

"You knew and stayed!"

Raven brows creased together as Kaoru tried to navigate his mood switch. Stretched to his limits, Enishi was falling into emotional overload.

"Why are you here?!" he demanded.

The words hit her like a paranoid accusation. Kaoru blinked, then answered the obvious. "Because you kidnapped me."

"Not now!" Enishi laughed. The sound felt hallow and dead. Broken. "You knew and choose to stay here willingly. Remember? For _my_ jinchuu."

The hypercritical tone of his voice sent her temper flaring, "You were going to hurt them!" She jabbed her finger in his direction, "You wanted to send them home maimed just to torture Kenshin!"

Enishi's laugh strained. "He deserves to taste the pain he caused! He's a hitokiri with hundreds... no, thousands of people who want to see him dead!"

"He's not a hitokiri anymore."

Exasperated, Enishi tore a hand through his hair. "Don't you get it! The reason he became a wanderer was because he knew vengeance would find him if he stayed in one place for too long. After ten years, he stopped wandering. He stayed with you. He lived in your house and put _you_ in danger!"

"I invited him!"

"And you defend him," he continued, ignoring her, "as though he's some kind of bloody saint!"

"Didn't you hear me?" she demanded, "I said I invited him!"

"I would expect foolishness like that from a swooning child!"

Kaoru balked, "S-swooning child?"

"He abandoned a woman to my jinchuu and then sent children to fight in it!"

"That's not—"

"Don't defend him!" he raged, "She defended him and she _died!"_

Kaoru paused and sucked in a deep breath. "But she loved him."

Enishi tugged at his hair.

"And my friends came because they care about me, not because Kenshin asked them to."

"You still don't understand," he said. "Your precious Battousai put you and your friends in far more danger by simple association than I ever could have. I've killed, but his hands are soaked in blood! I don't have dozens upon dozens of broken families in my past with grown sons who want to see me dead!"

"He's protected us..."

"Because he had to."

Kaoru fell silent and Enishi spoke once more. "If he really wanted to protect you, he would have left. My sister loved Battousai, so she left to try to protect him."

"What are you trying to say?"

For once, Enishi looked away, his disgust evident. Tense minutes ticked by before he spoke again.

"Your friends were never in danger of being hurt."

Kaoru blinked, "But, Saitou—"

"Is he your _ 'friend?'_"

"I couldn't let you—"

"Exactly!" Enishi sneered. "You've been interfering since the beginning. Manipulating me... being _shrewd._"

Her temper already raw, she reacted to his sarcasm with venom. "What the hell are you talking about now?"

Kaoru's anger inflamed his own.

"Why are you here?!"

Blue eyes blinked, "What..?"

"Why -- are -- you --_ here?!_" he roared, stepping toward her. Fists clenched and eyes wide, he continued to advance toward her. "My sister won't smile for me because she still loves him! In spite of everything. You knew that from the beginning! Why are you here when you knew she loved him?

"She loved you both!"

Kaoru barely suppressed the flinch that raced through her nerves when Enishi's expression turned deadly and his fist twitched. He would have hit her had she been anyone else. Still waiting for his answer, he stared down at her with cruel eyes.

"I stayed," she began, voice shaky from adrenaline, "because you're not my enemy, Enishi."

He scoffed, but said nothing.

"You lived your whole life in pain and alone," Kaoru continued. "You've done things... horrible things... but I know you're not an evil person."

She paused and licked her lips, trying to keep her eyes on his. It was difficult to look at him when he wore such a severe expression. "You could have killed me that night, but you didn't. You could have killed me here, but you didn't."

"I can still kill you. Here. _Now."_

"But you won't."

Enishi glared.

"You won't kill me," she repeated, "because I'm right. Anyone who loves someone as much as you love your sister isn't past the point of no return."

The coldness in his eyes began to crack. The change, though slight, was enough to fuel her confidence. She felt the tension drain from her shoulders as she looked at him.

"I don't hate you, Enishi. I want to help you. Haven't enough people been hurt already? I thought if I stayed, I could help you and protect my friends. That's why I'm here."

Though his expression remained harsh, Kaoru felt the softness in his eyes grow. He was still teetering on the edge, meandering between angst and despair. She was getting through to him.

Enishi clenched his jaw as emotions warred across his features. Stubbornly holding on to his anger, he spat, "You and your pity!"

"It's not pity," she whispered, reaching out to touch his arm. He flinched from the contact and tugged his arm away, but her hand held tight. Still too distraught to fight her touch, he simply trembled.

"Enishi," she squeezed his arm, hoping the contact would help to reassure him. "It's okay. You know the truth now. You can make her smile again."

He viciously pulled away from her and watched with leery eyes as Kaoru carefully approached him again. She stood before him for a moment, then took a final step forward and automatically wrapped her arms around him. He flinched and pulled back, but Kaoru moved with him and didn't let go. The tension in his muscles only increased when her hold tightened. She said nothing, hoping the embrace would comfort him.

A second later, he responded by wrapping his arms around her waist. Tears stung her eyes as his embrace grew tenacious. He lost much more than his purpose when he learned the truth of his sister's feelings. He lost her, _again. _

"It's okay, Enishi," Kaoru whispered. "Everything will be okay..."

• • •

Rain pelted the windows, drumming against the glass. Enishi opened his eyes to the cloudy darkness, feeling morning rush into him. Tribulation seemed to surround him, leaving him in a place he didn't know how to maneuver. Without a goal to point him in a direction to follow, Enishi felt lost.

His thoughts turned to the girl under his protection. Images and words crowded his mind as he remembered the night before. He hadn't meant to scream at her like he did. He wasn't even sure what exactly drove him to her room in the first place. The last entry in his sister's journal left him burning with betrayal. Kamiya was an extension of that. Both because of her connection to Battousai and his original suspicious about her kindness.

Enishi stared at the ceiling. The truth was, he had begun to trust her. Last night, he had to know... _needed_ to know... why she choose to stay with him. It would be one thing if he had forced her to stay as he planned to do, but she choose him over an opportunity to return home. He was certain her motives for staying were devious in intent. After all, mankind is not a selfless creature by nature.

But he was wrong. She was so sincere in her words, he didn't doubt her... and he _wanted_ to.

_'The supply ship comes today,' _he scratched at the wound on his chest,_ 'I should send her home...'_

Enishi sat up in bed and rubbed his face. Yes, he would send her home today. It would be easier to think without her around. Easier to make sense of things. Reaching for his glasses, Enishi paused in surprise. Body scrunched up in a chair as legs hooked over the arm of a second chair was Kamiya. Sleeping soundly, her head was tilted toward him with a hand curled into a fist as a makeshift pillow.

_'What is she doing here?'_ Turquoise eyes stared, still taken aback by her presence in his room. _'I left her in her room last night...'_

Shock gave way to natural curiosity as wandering eyes took in her form. The robe fell open above her knee, exposing the curve of her legs. Skin stretched over shapely muscle, Enishi felt his body begin to stir. She was much more feminine than he originally gave her credit for. A tomboy indeed, but a woman nonetheless. And it had been a long time since he had last been with a woman.

Sighing, he looked away. He couldn't let her sleep like that. Business mode engaged, Enishi stood. Walking over to her, he carefully covered her with a blanket. A lock of hair laid across her cheek and Enishi was sorely tempted to push it away. Resisting the urge, he drew the blanket around her and soundlessly left the room.

Within moments, he found himself standing near a window that overlooked the beach. Dark storm clouds smeared the horizon and the wind bent the palm trees next to the house. A flash of light caught his eye and Enishi listened for the accompanying thunder. The dark clouds were heading their way and they were tearing up the surface of the ocean as they came. Rough waters automatically meant that the supply ship would not come.

Enishi watched the rain splatter against the window as he considered. It wasn't safe to leave the island. Kamiya would have to stay for at least another week.

As the storm pressed in around them, Enishi was surprised to realize that he felt relieved.


	11. chapter ten :: compassion

**Catharsis**

**compassion  
**.:chapter ten:.

* * *

The storm pounded the little island late into the night before it tapered off into a steady rain. A day later and clouds still smeared the sky with morose shades of grey. Enishi sat and watched the clouds float by as droplets of water splattered against the window. Though the sound of rain was normally soothing, he felt agitated. His mind was stuck in a loop with his decade old desire for revenge at the core.

Jinchuu was lost. The goal was pointless. Killing Battousai would not make his sister smile for him. That much was obvious. Knowing such truth didn't change his feelings. He still hated Battousai. The desire to destroy his brother-in-law didn't die with the knowledge that his sister actually loved the man. If anything, the desire doubled. It wasn't fair that such a man had so much. Not just Tomoe's love, but Kamiya's as well.

His jaw clenched tightly when he thought of the tomboy. Her attachment to Battousai was enraging. Now more than ever.

Frustrated, Enishi tried to call up an image of his sister in his mind. The comfort of her smile would ease his ire. As the image formed a frenzy of indignation scurried up his spine. Her expression wasn't as sad, but she still wouldn't smile for him. The look made Enishi feel condemned.

For the first time since her death, he felt her sadness was directed toward him alone. The epiphany crushed him. For over a decade he believed her grief was because Battousai still lived, unpunished. The truth was, she was disappointed in her little brother. She didn't want vengeance.

Accepting that truth twisted the knife of guilt in his heart, but it did nothing to dampen ten years of anger and hate. That hatred was strong enough that, if given the chance, Enishi would still kill Battousai. This time, instead of righteous vengeance, jealousy fueled his homicidal desire.

Fierce eyes watched the tide ebb. The clouds were breaking up, the wind was calming. Tomorrow the rain should be gone, and the day after that, the supply ship would probably come.

He would have to send her home.

Conflicting thoughts and emotions filled his mind. It was no longer necessary to keep Kamiya. She was a distraction. A weakness. The relief he felt two days ago when he realized the supply ship would not come was proof of that. He was beginning to trust her, to want her... there was no place for that in his life. Not while his sister still looked so forlorn.

But he wanted to keep her around. She was... _comfortable._ Kamiya had a soothing effect on him. Much like Tomoe once did.

It wasn't fair that Battousai had them both. Especially _her._

The whisper-like shuffling of fabric alerted him to Kamiya's presence. She stepped a few feet into the room, and then stopped. Back pointed in her direction and eyes forward, Enishi didn't bother to acknowledge her arrival. He simply waited as he trained his ears on her.

• • •

She watched him stare out the window for several minutes, observing his listless form. Her own stillness added to the dreariness of the room. Surrounded by shadows and radiating preoccupation, Enishi was the picture of isolation.

Kaoru chewed her lip, _'He seems so lonely...'_

As though hearing her thoughts, Enishi shifted in his seat and turned his head to look at her. Caught, Kaoru felt her cheeks flush.

"I— I'm sorry for staring," she said quickly, disturbing the melancholy. "I thought you might want... some company?"

Enishi's stony expression didn't change. He eyed her for a long moment, then pushed his glasses higher on the bridge of his nose and turned back toward the window.

_'Well, he didn't say no.'_

With quiet footsteps, she approached and then took a seat in the chair across from him. The dead air around him continued to thrive as Kaoru spent several minutes staring blankly out the window.

Turning scrutinizing eyes toward Enishi, she asked, "You've been sitting here all day, haven't you?"

Maintaining his silence, Enishi continued to look fixedly ahead. Kaoru's brows creased as she tried to read him.

"You're doing it again," he said, turquoise eyes swiveling in her direction.

Kaoru blinked, "Huh?"

"Staring."

She bit back a scowl and looked away. "Sorry."

A smirk threatened to pull the corners of his lips upward as he regarded her. Kaoru felt his attention and a fresh blush tickled along her cheeks.

"Are you worried about me?" he asked, relieving her by looking away.

"_'Worry'_ is a strong word," Kaoru said dryly. "I was just wondering what were you thinking about."

"I was thinking about killing Battousai."

Kaoru blanched.

Enishi gave her a sidelong glance, "Did you think reading my sister's diary would make me hate him less?"

"I guess not," she said softly.

"If anything," his voice was low, intense. "I hate him _more._"

Kaoru was tempted to ask him why but held her tongue. Instead, she accepted his words with a nervous swallow and watched the rain taper into a steady drizzle.

"I hated her fiancé," he said after a time, disrupting the quiet.

"Pardon?"

"I was glad when he left to go to Kyoto," he continued. "I hoped he wouldn't come back."

Kaoru caught up to him and asked, "Kyosato?"

Enishi nodded. "I thought she was going to marry him because our father wanted her to. I didn't expect her to miss him. I never saw her smile for _him._"

"She loved him," Kaoru said and almost regretted her words at Enishi's glare.

"Did _you_ read it?"

Kaoru blinked, "No, of course not."

"But you knew what was in it."

"I only knew what Kenshin told me," she said.

Quiet filled the space between them, creating eddies of tension as the seconds ticked by. She knew it annoyed him to hear Kenshin's given name, but she wasn't about to call him 'Battousai' as he did.

"Do you think of yourself as a replacement for my sister?" Enishi asked, leveling a steady gaze upon her.

She returned his gaze with eyes sparkling and lips forming a tight line. Offended, Kaoru said, "No."

"Really?" Enishi asked, "You're not trying to be Battousai's 'sheath?'"

His question killed some of the fire in Kaoru's eyes. Suddenly reminded of how she felt the day she learned Kenshin had once been married, she looked away.

Megumi told her she could never be a replacement for Tomoe. At the time, Kaoru _wanted_ to be her replacement. She wanted to give Kenshin that kind of calm and she felt inadequate and jealous that she could not. But Kenshin made her feel important to him as the day of the confrontation drew closer. Hours before Enishi kidnapped her, she made peace with those feelings.

Or at least thought she did. Now a new set of feelings were casting shadows on her heart.

Expression softening, Kaoru finally said, "No... I can't."

Enishi raised a brow.

"Tomoe saved him from his hitokiri side," she explained, "She pulled him back. When I met him, he was rurouni. I just wanted to help him. I wanted to give him a place to call home."

Kaoru felt Enishi's disapproving eyes upon her.

"Tomoe is still his sheath," she said, "She always will be."

He looked away from her and Kaoru thought of his words from the other night. Kenshin _had_ left her to defend herself in Enishi's jinchuu. Even if he did believe her dead, she still felt abandoned... and heartbroken.

Sighing, Kaoru spoke in soft tones, "I don't know what I mean to him anymore."

• • •

NEXT DAY

Enishi found her in the kitchen, waiting for her tea to finish steeping. The white robe she wore was beginning to reflect its over-use as he eyed a couple of snags.

Her tea properly brewed, she reached for a cup when she noticed his presence.

"Hello," her lips lifted into a smile. "Tea?"

"No, thank you."

Kamiya poured herself a cup. "Do you need something?"

Enishi didn't respond to her question. Instead, he held out a wrapped bundle for her. "The supply ship arrives tomorrow," he said. "You will be on it when it leaves."

Kamiya took the bundle from him. "What's all this?" she asked.

"Proper clothing. For a lady."

Questioning eyes met his as Kamiya hugged the package to her chest. Unexpected emotions filtered across her eyes. He expected her to be relieved, but she appeared uncertain and more than a little worried.

"What about... Kenshin?" she asked delicately.

Enishi immediately stiffened at the name. _'She's worried about _him...'

"It's over," he said.

Kamiya accepted his words with a tremor of acknowledgement. Thoughtful blue eyes stared into the depth of the package in her arms. She squeezed it once and Enishi felt ready to leave.

"What are you going to do now?" Kamiya asked quietly, forcing Enishi to linger a moment longer.

"I don't know," he said, running a hand through his hair. "Return to Shanghai perhaps."

Kamiya bit her lip as her expression grew introspective once more. Her question surprised him, so he waited.

Suddenly her eyes met his. "Come with me."

Taken aback, Enishi studied her skeptically as he doubted his ears.

"Don't go back there," she continued, "and don't stay here alone and punish yourself."

The proposition repeated once more, doubt vanished. The suggestion didn't just come from her lips, it echoed in her eyes. Kamiya seemed to glow with sincerity.

"You're... serious," he whispered.

"Yes," she said quickly. "Please don't go back to Shanghai. Come back to Japan. Come to Tokyo with me."

Thrown off by her unexpected invitation, Enishi didn't think to simply say 'no.' Instead, he found himself volunteering information he normally wouldn't have. "I can't. Not until my organization deals with the Japanese police—"

"Then I'll stay here until that's done," Kaoru interrupted.

_'What am I saying?'_ the rational part of her demanded, _'Why am I so worried about him being alone?'_

Her heart knew. The reason Kaoru didn't want to leave him was because she was afraid for him. Returning to Shanghai would be a mistake. Especially now. Despair still haunted him. She'd seen it and tried to her best to chase it away. Her efforts yielded results, but they quickly faded when Enishi was left alone for too long. If he went to Shanghai he would be isolating himself even more. Worse, he'd be returning to the very place that turned him into a killer to begin with.

"You're such a child," he said smugly. Kaoru looked up at him and saw cockiness return to his countenance. He had recovered from the jolt of her suggestion. Lips pulled back into an irritating smirk, Enishi continued, "That way you take in strays is shameful."

"I'm _not_ a child!" Kaoru glared. "And there's nothing _'_shameful_'_ about wanting to help."

"Idealistic and naive."

"Not this again!" Nostrils flared and temper building, Kaoru asked, "Are you _trying_ to start a fight?"

"Is there anyone you won't take in?" he asked innocently. "It seems you enjoy playing savior."

Kaoru grit her teeth. He was pushing her buttons on purpose. It was infuriating.

"What's wrong with wanting to help people?"

He sighed, "Look at who you're helping, Kamiya. Do you ever think about that?"

"I'm helping my friends," she said, anger punctuating her words. "You're my friend! Why shouldn't I want to help you?"

Enishi shook his head, but said nothing.

"Excuse _me_ for caring!"

"So now I'm your friend. I thought I just wasn't your enemy."

Kaoru felt like pulling her hair out.

"Go home, Kamiya. I don't want, or _need,_ your friendship." Kaoru gaped as Enishi eyed her loftily, "Still shrewd."

Anger zigzagged up her spine. "Damn it, Enishi! I'm sick and tired of this! Either accept my friendship or don't!"

She stepped toward him, determined to get in his face and tell him off. The height difference between them made such a prospect daunting, but Kaoru compensated. Jabbing her finger against his chest with every syllable, she said, "Get this through your thick head: I am _not_ shrewd! I helped you because it was the right thing to do. There was _no_ ulterior motive! If you don't want my friendship, fine!"

Enishi's jaw muscle twitched as he stared down at her, his eyes penetrating hers. His intense gaze didn't stifle her anger. Still prodding her finger against his chest, she growled, "Unlike _you,_ I mean what I say and I say what I mean. Get it?!"

His eyes narrowed and teeth clenched, Kaoru gave one last poke, "Jerk! I'm _not_ like you—! "

Her tirade stopped when her hand was suddenly caught in Enishi's fist. A gentle yank, and Kaoru felt a nearness that made her mind go blank.

He was kissing her. So shocked by the contact she did nothing to detour him. Strong hands slid across her back and pulled her closer. Her body pressed firmly against his, Kaoru's mind began to register what was happening. A shiver of electricity and fear raced down her back. What he was doing, the way he was holding her, the feel of strength all around her – it felt good, arousing. A thrill of excitement raced through her as Enishi's lips moved over her own, but it couldn't last. She knew that without consciously thinking it. Guilt was already building up within her heart.

When she felt his tongue taste her lips seeking entry, her guilt roared to the forefront of her mind. The spell was broken. The moment lost.

• • •

Muscles rigid, Enishi reluctantly broke off the kiss. Inexperience shined in her eyes and colored her cheeks. Kaoru stepped backward and the two stared at each other. One clearly uncomfortable and the other seemingly annoyed.

"The supply ship arrives tomorrow," Enishi said, repeating his earlier announcement. "You will be on it."

Kamiya avoided him after the kiss. She still cooked for him, still brought him food, but she was clearly uncomfortable in his presence. Logically he knew why she chose to stay away from him. He was her first kiss and she was in love with Battousai. The sadistic side of him should take pleasure in that realization, but he couldn't bring himself to feel that way. Instead, her avoidance bothered him in ways he didn't like to think about and the more she did it, the more annoyed he became.

With the hour of her departure upon them, Enishi was surprised to find Kamiya eagerly waiting for him. Dressed in the blue and white kimono he had made for her, Enishi admired the sudden femininity that radiated from her. His appraisal of her appearance didn't reflect in his visage. Stoic and detached, Enishi waited for her to speak.

"The... the kimono is beautiful," she said, hands twisting together nervously.

Enishi grunted and Kamiya continued to fidget. Impatient, he asked, "Are you prepared to leave?"

Kamiya nodded and the hand wringing stuttered. She wasn't finished. It was obvious that she wanted to say more, but Enishi was too annoyed with her to wait for her to build up the courage to speak.

"Let's go," Enishi said, heading toward the door.

"Wait!"

Pausing, he gave her a miffed look.

"I- I'm sorry," she swallowed hard as cheeks colored. "I've been rude to you lately... I'm sorry."

Heading toward the door once more, Enishi repeated himself. "Let's go."

The walk to the shore and the subsequent boarding of the boat was done with an uncomfortable silence. Enishi left Kamiya to give the captain of the vessel his instructions. Moments later, he turned around to see several members of the crew eyeing Kamiya like vultures.

Disgusted, Enishi turned back to the captain. "I'll remain on board until we drop the girl off."

The captain gave him a queer look and then saw what Enishi had seen. Understanding the motives behind his sudden change of plans, the captain said, "Of course, sir."

Enishi returned to Kamiya's side and sent cold glares to every man he made eye contact with. When the ship began to move, shocked blue eyes turned to Enishi.

"You're coming with me?"

"I'm escorting you to Tokyo," he clarified.

Kamiya's expression seemed to deflate. "You don't need to escort me."

"I wasn't going to," Enishi said, "but it's obvious that most of the men on board this ship haven't seen an attractive, young woman up close since they suckled their mother's breast... and _that's_ being generous. Telling them to behave themselves is a waste of breath."

Blushing, Kamiya looked away from him. A moment later, she said, "I can defend myself. I'm not helpless."

"I know," Enishi agreed, "but you are still under my protection. From the moment I took you from Tokyo until the moment you return."

• • •

She felt strangely self-conscious maneuvering her way down the street. Should she go to the dojo first or Megumi's clinic? That question plagued her mind relentlessly since arriving. Now at the junction of decision, Kaoru found herself longing to go to the dojo, but her feet carried her to the clinic instead.

Slow and steady she made her way down the street. The clinic finally in view, Kaoru felt her heart quicken and hands tingle. She wanted to see him, but was afraid at the same time.

Smoothing the front of her new kimono, Kaoru thought, _'I hope Enishi is doing all right. I hope he doesn't go to Shanghai...'_

The imaginary wrinkles erased, Kaoru pulled her mind away from the man who kidnapped her. Since leaving him, she couldn't go long without thinking of him. Even at the moment of seeing Kenshin again, Kaoru's thoughts wandered to Enishi.

Stealing herself, she pushed open the door to the clinic. Kaoru clearly heard Megumi's voice as she removed her shoes and stepped further within.

"...it will taste bad," the doctor said, her back to Kaoru, "but it will help ease your daughter's pain and settle her stomach."

"How often should she drink it?" asked the man, a young girl sat beside him. She appeared pale and tired as she leaned against her father. Kaoru offered a smile when the girl looked her way.

"No more than four times a day. She probably won't need to drink it that often, but if she does, let me know."

The man looked down at the small bundle in his hands and nodded. Clearing his throat and giving a polite bow, he said, "Thank you, Megumi-san."

Megumi returned the courtesy, "You're welcome."

Turning to walk her patient out, the doctor saw her newest visitor standing nervously near the entry way.

Megumi stared for a long moment, then found her voice. "K-kaoru?!"

"Hello, Megumi."


	12. chapter eleven :: ache

**Catharsis**

**ache  
**.:chapter eleven:.

* * *

"I... I can't believe... w-when did you..?" Megumi's voice trailed off as she studied the young woman standing before her.

The doctor's obvious surprise gave Kaoru a good feeling, making her even more anxious to see Kenshin. Smiling, she said, "It's good to see—"

A sudden hug cut Kaoru off. The gesture lasted but a moment, then Megumi's questioning eyes were searching once more.

"... _How?_"

"The ship dropped me off a little over an hour ago," Kaoru said, lips lifting into a shy smile.

"And you came straight here?" The doctor narrowed her eyes critically, "You're not hurt, are you?"

"No, no. I'm fine."

Megumi's intensity didn't waiver. "You're sure?" She asked, voice low and expression deadly serious. "He didn't... _force_ himself on you... did he?"

"Force himself..?" Kaoru's expression turned mortified. "No! He wouldn't. Absolutely not!"

The doctor was taken aback by her tenacity. Feeling her cheeks redden, the kendo instructor quickly apologized for her outburst and tried not to think of the kiss. It was better to forget about it anyway.

"Good." Another critical scrutiny, then a satisfied nod. "I'm glad to hear that. We feared the worst, Kaoru-chan."

"I'm... I'm sorry. I _had_ to stay... I was afraid he would kill them if they kept trying to force him to let me go."

"I suspected those were your reasons," the doctor said. "Yahiko still has a hard time accepting that."

Kaoru bit her lip.

"He understands _why_ you did it, but that didn't make it hurt any less." Megumi smiled. "He's attached to you, you know?" The doctor's voice hinted amusement, "You're family to him."

Kaoru's features lifted at the comment.

"So if you're not hurt, why did you come here?" Megumi asked, pushing the conversation in another direction. "Why didn't you go to the dojo?"

"Kenshin is here, isn't he? I was told he was... _ill._"

The doctor paused, expression somber.

Kaoru didn't like her lack of response. Her reluctance to speak was worrisome.

"Where is he?" The kendo instructor asked.

"He's not here."

"He's better?" Kaoru asked, grasping automatically at optimism.

"No," Megumi pursed her lips. "He should still be at police station."

Raven brows creased.

"Actually," the doctor grew thoughtful and tapped her chin, "we should probably go to the police station, too."

Before Kaoru could say anything, Megumi was relaying strict instructions to her two assistants. Then Kaoru found herself being quickly herded outside.

The post-lunchtime crowds choked the streets, forcing the women to maneuver with more fortitude than normally required. When they finally pushed themselves through the more congested areas of the street, Kaoru asked, "Why is Kenshin at the police station?"

A street vendor cut them off with his cart, forcing the women to cross the street.

"Saitou is gone."

"W... _what?_" Kaoru's face paled.

"He's not _dead,_" Megumi said, sparing Kaoru a glance. "He's just... gone. Without him, Ken-san doesn't have a contact willing to discuss Enishi Yukishiro."

"... Oh..."

"Ken-san went there this morning to talk to the detective who's replacing Saito. He wanted to get information about the location of the island where you were being held so he could find you."

Days of feeling abandoned and forgotten suddenly lifted from Kaoru's shoulders. She felt good all the way down to her toes. Megumi noticed the happy glow and frowned. Tugging on a corner of her sleeve, the doctor forced Kaoru to pause.

"Kaoru-chan, you need to understand. Ken-san isn't better yet."

Blue eyes deflated as they implored Megumi to continue.

"His fasting weakened his body considerably. Infection set in with some of his wounds. Entropy robbed him of muscle," Megumi sighed. "He was _trying_ to die. Willing himself to die... I think that's why his body got in such a bad state so quickly."

"But he's _better_ now, right...?"

"He's getting there," Megumi agreed. "He started to come out of his depression around the time everyone came back. When he fully understood 'jinchuu', he took it upon himself build up his strength for one last confrontation with Enishi."

"That's good, isn't it? That's the way Kenshin is. He never gives up. He always succeeds."

The doctor's lips formed a tight line. Megumi's silence was disturbing.

"There's more," Kaoru said, voice pained.

Megumi nodded. "He's no longer living in constant mourning, but he still acts strangely. His body is mostly recovered, but it's not like it was before. His body may never fully recover."

"W-_why?_"

"Because his body is beginning to fall apart."

Eyes wide, Kaoru's expression froze with dismay.

"You have to understand," the doctor explained delicately. "Ken-san pushes his body beyond its limits every time he fights. His speed and strength is from sheer force of will. Ken-san is finally at the point where his body can no longer handle the stress of fighting. It can no longer keep up with his _will._"

Kaoru swallowed.

"You coming back now probably saved his life."

• • •

Crossing paths with Kenshin as he left the police station was a stroke of luck Kaoru felt joyfully grateful for. Seeing the rurouni again was the only thing on her mind. She had no desire to speak with anyone else beyond the family of friends she made for herself. Surprise reverberated from Kenshin the moment he realized who was walking toward him. Kaoru thought her heart might burst at the sight of the redheaded rurouni.

"Kaoru-dono?"

Her name on his lips was all the encouragement she needed. Tears blurring her vision, Kaoru embraced him with as much fierceness as the night he left to fight Shishio. His arms went around her automatically, but barely squeezed back.

"I missed you," she said, ignoring the limp feel of his arms around her. She pulled back from him and smiled, cheeks already wet with tears.

"He let you go?"

Kaoru nodded and broke the contact between them.

His introspective look quickly transformed into a warm smile. "I'm glad."

Several minutes later, the trio headed back toward Megumi's clinic. Few words were spoken as they moved down the road, much to Kaoru's surprise. Kenshin's reserved reaction toward her was confusing. The disappointment she felt at his lukewarm response sent her spirits in a tailspin. She was so happy to see him... shouldn't he be happy to see her, too? She didn't expect him to be overly affectionate, but she expected something. A smile, a fond embrace... _something._

_'Perhaps it's because Megumi is with us,'_ Kaoru rationalized. Grasping that explanation, the kendo instructor forced her spirits to buoy once more. When Megumi departed from their company to return to work, Kaoru waited for the warm smiles and kind words she expected.

They didn't come.

Disappointment stung her eyes, but Kaoru stubbornly blinked the sensation away._ 'I'm being childish,'_ she told herself, still trying to remain optimistic. _'I'm being overly sensitive and childish...' _As they strode across the bridge that took them away from the bustle of the city, Kaoru asserted herself.

"I hope Yahiko's been keeping up with his katas," she said with a forced cheer. Ripples radiated through the awkward lull, giving her hope, "I don't want to have to retrain him because he's grown sloppy."

"He practices every day."

Kaoru smiled. It was good to hear his voice again.

"His form has even improved," Kenshin continued. "He's grown more confident with his skills."

"He defeated one of Heishin's bodyguards by himself," a grin shined in her voice. "I think even Enishi was impressed."

Kenshin suddenly stopped in his tracks.

Kaoru paused as well, questioning eyes boring into his back.

"Kaoru-dono," he said, turning toward her.

Hope made her heart sing. Perhaps now that they were alone, Kenshin would show some sort of happiness at her arrival. She grinned widely at him, "Hmm?"

Instead of kind words of welcome or a friendly embrace, Kenshin knelt to the ground.

"Kenshin," Kaoru began, puzzled. "What are you—?"

Surprise stole her breath when the rurouni immediately bowed before her. Forehead pressed against the earth, he said, "Kaoru-dono, please forgive this unworthy one for failing to protect you."

"Kenshin... _no_..." Her throat tightened. "Please get up, Kenshin. There's nothing to forgive."

Kenshin sat up reluctantly, his eyes heavy.

"Please get up," she repeated, lips quivering. "There's nothing to forgive!"

He rose to his feet slowly, awkwardly, and Kaoru was reminded of Megumi's words. _'...his body is beginning to fall apart.'_

Dust clung to his clothing. "I'm relieved that you're safe," he said, eyes distant and voice monotone.

Heart pounding hard in her chest, Kaoru felt a cold dread squeeze her belly into knots. _'Why is he acting like this?!' _He smiled kindly at her silence before turning away resuming his pace.

"Kenshin, wait!"

He paused.

"What happened to you, Kenshin?" She asked, voice cracking.

He offered a ghost of a smile. "I... I fell into despair."

Her mouth open and closed soundlessly. Kenshin's pained smile crushed her heart. He was looking at her with eyes she'd never seen before. Eyes overwhelmed with guilt.

"But there's no reason for you to feel that way now," Kaoru said in a rush, closing the distance between them. "I'm so happy to be back, Kenshin. I was worried—"

"I'm happy you're here, too."

The sadness in his voice sank Kaoru's heart. Still, she persisted. "I heard about Rakinumura... you don't need to punish yourself, Kenshin."

The rurouni didn't acknowledge her. Instead, he began walking once more and Kaoru was forced to follow. Chewing on her bottom lip, Kaoru considered the rurouni's detached behavior.

"Enishi treated you well?" Kenshin asked, breaking the silence.

"Y-yes." She desperately wanted to hear some liveliness in his voice. Doing her best to lighten the mood, she continued, "Other than leaving me with only a robe to wear and insulting my food, he was actually kind."

Kenshin glanced at her out of the corners of his eyes. "You cooked for him?"

"He wasn't eating," Kaoru explained. "And he was hurt." The rurouni nodded and she continued, "Plus, I thought some kindness would be good for him."

"I see," the gates of the dojo grew larger in their visage as they approached. "I don't recognize your kimono. Enishi gave it to you, didn't he?"

Glancing down at herself, Kaoru unconsciously smoothed her hands over the fabric. A blush rose on her cheeks as she thought of the day he gave her the garment, and the kiss that followed shortly thereafter. "Yes, he did."

Kaoru didn't notice the way Kenshin was observing her. Nor did she feel his curiosity linger on the rosiness of her cheeks.

• • •

THREE MONTHS LATER

He thumbed through the pages absently, eyes wandering over words and phrases with minimal attention. Her handwriting was perfect. Each stroke a representation of her upbringing and education.

Sighing, Enishi rubbed his brow and flipped the diary closed. It wasn't fair. Battousai had too much and deserved it the least. Tomoe and Kamiya. One he stole by way of the sword and the other through the naive love of a girl who looked for the best in people.

Insult on top of injury, Enishi was forced to acknowledge his yearnings. The kiss had been impetuous. He had surprised himself with his own actions, yet enjoyed the brief moment immensely. Her reaction, though awkward and annoying, was understandable once he saw her expression.

He had been her first kiss. The realization brought a satisfaction that extended far beyond the physical pleasure of the moment. Battousai had yet to claim her. The romantic attachment she felt toward the former assassin could be unrequited.

How wonderfully perfect.

Letting her go had been a mistake. Enishi saw that now. Kamiya had been sincere with him from the very beginning. Her kindness was the core of who she was. She had accepted him, trusted him... and he had been too suspicious and angry to recognize it.

Now that she was gone, he missed her. Kamiya's presence was serene. Even when she argued with him, challenged him... Enishi felt calm, _satisfied._ He liked her fire, her fierceness, her independence and strength...

And he wanted that serenity back. Battousai _owed_ him. If the hitokiri was too much of a fool to accept what was being offered to him, then Enishi would happily take it.

Even go to Tokyo and _fight_ for it.

• • •

"I want you to do another five hundred swings before you leave."

The boy grumbled under his breath, but wisely began the exercise without further complaint. Kaoru watched his form critically, noting the way Yahiko stepped into the swing with a confidence that didn't exist months ago. The boy was growing into a remarkable swordsman. Kaoru was proud.

"...82...83... 84..."

"Watch your hands, Yahiko," Kaoru called out. "Steady your strikes. Don't rush."

The boy's form immediately improved, his counting uninterrupted. Kaoru hid her smile. He was by far the most skilled swordsman in all of Japan for a boy his age, but telling him that would only make him _more_ cocky. That was the last thing she wanted. He needed to learn humility. Confirming his assertation that he was indeed exceptional would derail her efforts. Besides, they were on such good terms now, she didn't want to ruin it.

During the months since Kaoru's return, her relationship with Yahiko had evolved. The name calling and teasing continued just as it always did, but there was subtle difference. That difference was in Yahiko himself. Enishi's jinchuu matured the boy into a young man. It cemented his already solid desire to be strong and even took the need a step further. Where once the boy simply wanted to be Kenshin's equal, now there was a desire to exceed him. To be independent.

That independent desire didn't go unnoticed. Kaoru felt particularly stung by Yahiko's attitude. Recognizing the need to speak with him privately, Kaoru confronted Yahiko. It didn't take long for the boy to tell her exactly what he thought and how he felt. By the time their conversation concluded, Kaoru felt closer to Yahiko than she ever did before, but she still had a problem.

Yahiko was far more angry at Kenshin than he was with her. The idol worship was gone. In its place was bitter disappointment and resentment. Kaoru empathized with that sentiment. She, too, felt a sense of disappointment. With each passing day, her relationship with Kenshin continued to fray. Her attempts to reestablish the connection between them always seemed to end in failure. Kenshin was shut off from her and Yahiko, leaving both to feel rejected on top of everything else.

She suspected _why_ he was distancing himself from them. She could see it in his mannerisms and hear it in his words. Guilt was consuming him. No longer physically residing in Rakinumura, Kenshin's heart still existed there. Her easy gift of forgiveness went unaccepted. Kenshin felt he still _had_ to atone.

He wanted to go rurouni again. Kaoru could feel it in her bones.

Ignoring her heartache, Kaoru focused her attention on Yahiko. Then she noticed Kenshin out of the corner of her eye. He was preparing to go into town.

_'I should go with him,'_ she thought, eyeing the rurouni. _'I should talk to him...'_

Her mind made up, Kaoru stood. "I'm going into town with Kenshin," she announced.

"You look like a man dressed like that," Yahiko said without looking at her.

Kaoru gaped.

"Stink, too."

"That stink is _you,_ Yahiko-_chan._"

The boy suddenly paused in his routine and glared. "Don't call me that!"

"Did I tell you to stop?" Kaoru demanded. "You can do another two hundred swings!"

Yahiko sputtered. "What?!"

"Get going!"

The boy clenched his shinai tightly, jaw set and eyes angry. Kaoru knew he wanted to giver her more sass, but he held back. Another reflection of his growing maturity. He was finally learning to watch his mouth.

"I'm only telling the truth," the boy grumbled, compromising with his temptation.

Back talk was back talk, but Kaoru chose to overlook it when she realized the rurouni was heading toward them, no doubt to inform them that he would be leaving.

"I don't see you practicing, Yahiko," Kaoru said, a split second before putting on a cute, friendly grin for the rurouni. "Are you heading into town, Kenshin?"

"Aa," he smiled at her, the expression not quite reaching his eyes. His usual kindness made his detachment all the more painful. "I was going to buy some tofu. Do you need something?"

"No," Kaoru's grin increased. "But I'd like to join you."

"You don't have to—"

"I _want_ to."

Kenshin blinked, and relented graciously. "Alright."

"Give me a minute to change," Kaoru said, heading toward the house. A handful of minutes later, she reemerged, dressed in a kimono and smiling brightly.

As the two headed out the gate, Kaoru called over her shoulder, "Don't slack off while I'm gone, Yahiko."

The boy grunted and the counting continued.

• • •

"Kenshin?"

He turned his head toward her, expression amiable. A question burned in her heart, causing her fingers to curl and uncurl unconsciously. He waited, already sensing the weight of her concern.

"Are you... thinking of becoming rurouni again?"

Kenshin blinked, taken aback. That was not the inquiry he was expecting. Rather, he assumed her question would be geared more to their strained relationship. He was pulling away from her and could see the distress it caused. As much as it hurt him to hurt her, it couldn't be helped now. Things had changed. He had grown too close to her and allowed her to become attached. It was past time to correct that mistake.

"Kenshin?"

"I've thought about it," he admitted honestly.

Anger mixed with pain flashed in her eyes. "You're not happy here..." Kaoru's voice caught, "with _me?_"

"It's not about _my_ happiness—"

"Don't do that!" She snapped.

Kenshin recoiled.

"Don't turn this into an issue of atonement and forgiveness!" Kaoru's eyes flared, "I've offered you my forgiveness... my friendship... my _heart_..."

"Kaoru-dono—"

"And you've been acting like we're nothing more than friendly acquaintances!" She squeezed her eyes shut and grit her teeth. "I'm tired of it!"

"Kaoru-dono, I don't mean to hurt you—"

"Why didn't you leave Rakinumura when you found out I was alive? Why are you pushing us away?" Her fist clenched the collar of her kimono. "What am I to you, Kenshin?"

Kaoru's eyes bore into his as she waited for his reply. He had avoided this subject for too long.

"It's my fault he came," he said at last. "I've put all of you in danger because I wanted to forget my past. I grew comfortable here. I formed friendships and _chose _to forget. I _am_ happy here, but I don't have that luxury. Like it or not, I will always be a hitokiri. There will always be someone who wants to avenge the past. My presence will ultimately bring unhappiness for the people I care for."

"So you're just going to leave, is that it?" Kaoru glared, "You've been feeling this way for the last three months and didn't think it was important enough to tell me about it?"

"No, that's not—"

"Were you just going to leave one day without a word? Was that your plan?"

"No."

Kaoru squeezed her eyes shut as she composed herself. After several deep breaths, she said, "You could have told me, Kenshin." Blue eyes grew watery. "I... I _love_ you."

"I know."

Kaoru gaped, voice cracking. "You... _know?_"

He said nothing.

"Wh-what am I to you, Kenshin?"

He sighed, then squared his shoulders. She deserved to know what he had wanted once. "If things were different... if I was confident that you would be safe... I would ask you to be my wife."

Kaoru stared dumbstruck.

"But there is no place for that now," Compassion and guilt echoed in his voice. "I failed to protect you. I failed to rescue you. A husband must be able to protect his wife. I can't forgive myself for not doing that, even if you can."

"But, I don't—"

Kenshin raised his hand, bringing her protest to a sudden stop. "There are still people who wish me harm, Kaoru-dono. I care too much about you to put you at risk because of my sins."

He saw a familiar spark of anger flare in her eyes. The ire building inside of her made the air crackle around him. Standing ready, Kenshin prepared himself for whatever Kaoru deemed fit to throw his way. After breaking her heart, he deserved nothing less.

As she opened her mouth to vent her frustrations, the earth began to shake.

* * *

**AN**: Okay, let me just come out and say it: This chapter was _hard_. I totally love Kenshin. And believe it or not, but I am a K/K fan. Even _I_ hate to see him this way. However, I honestly think he would have this kind of reaction if he realized he sat in Rakinumura when Kaoru needed him the most.

I've read a lot of fics where Kenshin is characterized as thinking he's unworthy of Kaoru. I don't totally subscribe to that philosophy. I think that's probably true for the first half of the manga, but by the time Enishi shows up I figure Kenshin has already decided he wants to be with Kaoru forever. It was Jinchuu that finally exorcised Kenshin's demons regarding Tomoe's death (I think). He made peace with Tomoe, she told him Kaoru was still alive... the rest is history. Since that didn't happen in this universe, I think Kenshin would suffer a bit of a set-back emotionally. This is why I have him behaving the way I do.

That said, is Kenshin's behavior believable? Or is it over-the-top?

If you're a Kenshin fan and hate seeing him so down, don't worry. I've got plans for the guy. It might rub some of you hard core K/K fans, but if you've read this fic to this point... well, I think you can handle it.

Thanks again for reading & reviewing! Your feedback is super helpful.


	13. chapter twelve :: crossroads

**Catharsis**

**crossroads  
**.:chapter twelve:.

* * *

Kenshin moved on reflex, pulling Kaoru to the ground even as it vibrated beneath them. The booming of the crust shifting violently was followed by a terrible sound of wood splintering several yards ahead of them. Kaoru tried to find the source of the sound, but the movement of the earth sent her arms sprawling. She heard a scream and her confused fear suddenly doubled. Each second writhed past her at an agonizing pace.

Just when she wondered if the earth would split in two, it stilled.

Kaoru looked through disheveled hair to see part of the bridge had collapsed into the river below. A woman clung desperately to the railings, eyes wide with fear even as Kenshin hurriedly pulled her to safety. At that moment, all thoughts about her conversation with the rurouni dissolved into panic. She mumbled Yahiko's name and turned to look back in the direction they came. She thought of the bridge collapsing and remembered the sound of wood splintering.

Her blood ran cold.

"Kenshin!" She cried as she hiked up her kimono. "_Yahiko!_"

She didn't wait for his response. She simply ran. The first thing she saw was the dojo gate hanging by a single hinge. The column supporting it splintered under its weight.

"Yahiko!" She shouted, voice frightened.

"It's not safe to enter that way, Kaoru-dono," Kenshin warned as she eyed a narrow opening in the damaged gate. His words went ignored. She squeezed herself through and tore her kimono in the rush.

"_Yahiko!!_"

A head poked out from inside the dojo. "What? I'm in here."

His reply freed her heart, then came the reprimand. "What are you thinking?! Don't go in _there!_"

"I wanted to check out the damage," he scowled. "It's a mess! You should check it out."

Kenshin beckoned to the boy. "Come out here, Yahiko. We don't know how safe the dojo is right now."

"It's fine," he said, knocking on the door frame for emphasis. "What's the big deal?"

"The bridge collapsed, idiot!" Kaoru fumed, "_That's_ the big deal!"

"It did?" Yahiko asked with a morbid, childish excitement. "Really?? I didn't think the earthquake was that bad."

Kaoru snorted as Kenshin walked the perimeter of the dojo. Then, he ventured inside.

"The dojo looks safe, Kaoru-dono. The support beams aren't cracked or splintered."

The kendo instructor stepped toward her family heirloom. Yahiko joined her in the dojo as Kenshin went to examine the damage to the house.

"So did the whole bridge collapse?" Yahiko asked as Kaoru bent to pick up a fallen plaque.

Standing on her tip-toes, she attempted to hang it once more. "No, only a part of it. The corner closest to our side."

"That's it? And you came running back here screaming for me like that?" He rolled his eyes. "Stupid."

Kaoru glared at him. "How many earthquakes have you been through, Yahiko-_chan?_"

He bristled at the suffix. "One."

"And when was that? The last one I remember was nearly..." She did some quick figuring in her head, "_seven_ years ago!"

"I remember it!" He said defensively, eyes challenging.

"You were _3-years-old._"

"So?"

"So!?" Kaoru pointed at him, "It was minor compared to this one! Who knows what kind of damage we'll find in the city. People could be trapped—"

"Kaoru-dono."

She gave Kenshin her attention.

"The house appears safe." He handed her a hastily tied bag full of bandages and other medical supplies, "We should go into town now."

• • •

The damage seemed to get worse the further they walked toward town. Kenshin remarked that the proximity of the buildings in the center of town may cause a domino effect. Without a word, they hurried their pace. Moments later, their feet slowed when they heard a child crying and a woman wailing for help. Their ears led them to a scene that gave them their first taste of the disaster. One of the walls of the home fell inward, causing the roof to collapse and a second wall to lean precariously. Two men struggled to remove the rubble as a woman standing nearby grew hysterical.

Kaoru instinctively went to the woman and offered her comfort as Kenshin and Yahiko gave aid to the two men. The removal of the rubble moved quicker with the extra hands. Soon a foot was seen, followed by a leg stained with blood. The sight quickened their pace as a little girl buried her face in the skirt of her mother's kimono.

An ominous creak brought the work to a sudden halt. The men froze and stared warily at the leaning wall.

"Get him out!" The woman cried, pushing Kaoru and her clinging daughter away as she stepped toward the broken house. "You _can't_ stop! Get him out!!"

Kaoru reached for her arm, "Miss..."

"Tarou is still in there!"

Kenshin was the first to resume the work and the others followed his lead. Seeing the men working again provided the distraught woman with a sliver of calm, but still she trembled.

"What's your name?" Kaoru asked, standing beside her.

She said nothing for a long moment. Lips quivered as the men struggled to lift part of the fallen wall that covered her husband's upper body.

"Mako," she whispered finally.

The wall removed, the men looked upon their find. The expression on their faces, particularly on Yahiko, bore the terrible truth. Mako pushed forward, determined to go to her husband. What she saw brought her to a sudden halt.

No one said a word. Kaoru's throat tightened. Yahiko tried not to look green. The little girl sniffled.

And then Mako fainted.

• • •

"I found an extra blanket," Kaoru smiled as she held out the folded fabric. "It's pretty worn, but it should do the job."

The elderly man took it hesitantly. "It's not your last one, is it?"

Her smile faltered. It _ was_ the last blanket, but she wasn't about to tell him that. He needed it. The dojo wasn't as warm as the house at night. She felt awful that she didn't have any room in the house for him. Every available space, in the house and dojo, was being used as a temporary shelter for those who had no where else to go.

"Please take it, Jiro-san," she affirmed.

"..."

When she saw his lingering reluctance she pushed again. "I insist."

He finally took it from her with a consenting nod. "Th-thank you."

"Kamiya?"

Kaoru turned toward the new voice.

"I have a delivery for you." He pointed his thumb toward the wide open gate where three other men stood and waited. The large gateway doors that gave her home privacy had to be removed for the sake of safety. They had yet to find the time, let alone afford the supplies, to make the necessary repairs.

"What delivery?" Kaoru asked, "I didn't order anything."

"Supplies," the man whistled and motioned to his co-workers waiting just outside the gate. They immediately disappeared and reappeared carrying planks of wood and a large crate.

Kaoru's eyes went wide. "What _is_ this? I didn't order any of this. There's been a mistake."

"You're Kamiya Kaoru?"

"Y-yes..."

"Then there's no mistake," the man reassured her. "We were given specific instructions to deliver these supplies to you as soon as possible."

She blinked, and then narrowed her eyes. "Bywhom?"

"Where do you want this?" One of the men called out, his arms straining to hold his end of several tightly secured wooden planks.

"Uh..." Kaoru thought fast, "just put it down right there... I guess."

He and his partner quickly lowered the wood where they stood before ambling back toward the gate to retrieve the rest of the delivery.

"Could you sign this, please?" The man standing beside her asked, holding out a slip of paper.

She took the parchment and scanned it. Sure enough, her name was listed as the recipient of the goods. Along with the words, 'PAID IN FULL.'

"Who paid for this?" Kaoru asked.

"I'm not at liberty to tell you that." He pointed at the bottom corner of the paper, "Sign there."

"Where did the order come from?"

The man sighed. "The order came from China. I can't tell you anymore than that."

_'China?!'_

"It didn't come from someone in Japan?"

The delivery man cleared his throat and looked pointedly at the place where he wanted her to sign.

_'Who would know to donate stuff like this from China?' _

Kaoru's heart pounded in her chest. She swallowed hard. _'It couldn't be...'_

"Is it from... _Shanghai?_" She asked, almost timidly.

The man gave her a look bordering on impatience. "I can't tell you anything else about the order. Our job is to deliver the goods. That's it."

"I see. I'm sorry," she murmured.

_'It has to be from him! Who else could afford all this?'_

He pointed at the paper again, "Could you sign here, please, so we can go?"

Kaoru blushed, "Of course."

The paper signed and the supplies delivered, Kaoru examined the crate. It was featureless, save for her name printed clearly on two sides. The eyes of her guests watched curiously as she retrieved a makeshift crowbar and pried the lid open. With a sudden pop, the lid slid off, revealing neatly packed tools, nails, hooks, thick rope, shingles...

Kaoru stared in amazement. There was more wood, tools and supplies laid out in front of her than she could possibly need to repair her home and dojo.

_'Enishi wouldn't do something like this... would he?' _Kaoru eyed the planks of wood, _'If it _is_ from Enishi, how did he know we needed all this stuff?'_

"It looks like your kindness is being repaid," Jiro said.

So caught up in her thoughts, she didn't realize he was standing right beside her until he spoke.

"Who do you think sent this to you?" He asked, lips parted into a warm smile.

"I'm not sure," she lied, not wanting to speak her suspicions out loud. Not everyone knew the name of the man who orchestrated her 'death,' but she didn't want to risk causing a stir in case someone did. The less she mentioned Enishi, the better. "I think an old friend did."

"You must have been a big help to them. All these carpentry tools and wood... this is a _ very_ expensive gift."

"Yes, it certainly is." Kaoru picked up a hammer and turned it over in her hand.

"Well, this is good," Jiro's smile grew. "I know you haven't been able to do much work on your own home. With these supplies, _we_ can finally do something to repay you for your kindness." Impossibly, his smile became even more wide and pleased. "You'll have to thank your friend next time you see him."

"No, you don't have to—"

"I don't think anyone here will take 'no' for an answer." He winked.

Kaoru felt her heart swell and a grateful smile pulled at her lips. "Thank you, Jiro-san. I appreciate it."

• • •

FOUR WEEKS LATER

Yahiko inquired about the anonymous gift, but Kaoru feigned ignorance. She was certain the boy already had strong assumptions about who the mystery donor was, but he managed to keep those thoughts to himself. To her surprise, Kenshin said nothing of the gift at all. Other than express gratefulness to whomever had the items delivered to them, he expressed no interest regarding the identity of the donor.

Needless to say, Kaoru found his lack of interest disappointing. She thought he would at least seem suspicious or concerned... after all, it came from China. Had the delivery man not told her that himself, she would have discovered it on her own. The country of origin was stamped on the inside of the box.

Fortunately, Kaoru didn't have time to angst over Kenshin's reaction. Her time was quickly consumed by the demands of repair and clean-up. With the unexpected donation, the worst damage to the house and dojo were repaired within a couple of weeks. The remaining materials were quickly used to help rebuild her neighbor's homes. In less than four weeks, there was nothing left of the anonymous gift except well-worn tools.

With the major stuff taken care of, all that was left to repair at the Kamiya homestead were the little things. Like furniture. The majority of Kaoru's time was spent at home. Her days consisted of providing aid and comfort for her many guests. If the opportunity presented itself, she would steal an hour of spare time and attempt to fix what she could.

Like now. With a few nails and a hammer laying beside her, Kaoru marked the wall where she wanted the shelf to go. She'd been meaning to fix the fallen ledge in her bedroom, but put it off. Yahiko promised that he would do it, but had yet to get around to it. Not that she could blame him. Yahiko and Kenshin were also helping those in need. They'd been so busy removing rubble, looking for missing people, doing quick repairs on support columns, walls and/or roofs so a home or building wouldn't collapse that they frequently spent the night at the work site. For the first few weeks after the quake, Kaoru often went to bed without having seen either one of them.

Lately, their time was spent specifically with the rebuilding effort. It seemed that every able-bodied man in Tokyo was helping. As a result, the work went fast. With the focus on rebuilding, rather than searching for people, Kenshin and Yahiko finally had some breathing room. Yahiko did his best to keep up with his training, making a point to try to be home before sunset. Even so, Kaoru rarely saw either one of them until well after dark.

One mark made, she used the edge of the shelf to guide her to where the next mark should be.

The truth was, she was kind of glad Yahiko hadn't done the chore. After weeks of giving her time and concern to her neighbors, Kaoru yearned for the privacy such a repair job would provide her... even if it did only last a few, short minutes.

Hammering the first nail into the wall, Kaoru thought of Sanosuke. They could use his brute strength at a time like this, but the gangster was no where to be found. He fled town before she came back to Tokyo, eager to escape the police of a government he found morally objectionable. It pained Kaoru to think of how the two of them parted. He had been so angry with her on Enishi's island...

"Need help with that?"

The hammer thudded against the wall, just grazing Kaoru's thumb. "Mou!"

Yahiko rubbed the back of his head, "Sorry."

She stood to her full height and stretched her arms out over her head, "That's okay, I'm almost done here." The kendo instructor noticed the boy was wearing his old clothes. "You're leaving with Kenshin now?"

"Yeah. We're supposed to help the Tomino family again today."

Kaoru looked out the window beyond Yahiko to see Kenshin. He smiled playfully, eyes crinkling and face filled with happiness as he listened to a little boy talk animatedly. He ruffled the young boy's hair and then gave that same smile to his mother and older sister. Kaoru recognized them as one of the families preparing to leave the dojo to move back into their newly rebuilt home. The woman said something and Kenshin's grin grew.

A pained countenance lifted Kaoru's lips. He seemed so at peace. So comfortable.

Her smile faltered. A quiver moved down her spine. _'He's smiling like he did when I first met him,' _Kaoru realized.

She hadn't noticed it before. All her time had been spent with the displaced so she never had a chance to really _look_ at Kenshin. The rurouni was in his element. Working to save lives, protecting property from looters, clearing rubble, repairing support beams and collapsed roofs... for the first time since the kidnapping, Kaoru saw genuine satisfaction in Kenshin.

It was a satisfaction her friendship had ceased to provide.

Her optimism surfaced, and hope swelled in her chest._ 'Is he... getting better? Will he smile like that for me?' _

Then it really hit. Recent encounters with the rurouni replayed in her mind. The way he still avoided any lingering eye contact, or answered her questions with one-word answers, or didn't bother to defend her cooking when Yahiko insulted her, or avoided being alone with her for longer than he had too...

Bitterness stung her heart. She felt like an acquaintance rather than a friend. No matter what she did, he still maintained his distance from her. His politeness was a shield. She knew it wasn't his intention to hurt her, but she felt distinctly rejected. Try as she might, she could not bridge the gap between them. Not when Kenshin refused to receive her efforts.

_'Why can't things go back to the way they used to be?'_

"He's starting to act like he used to," Yahiko remarked, following her line of sight. His comments startled Kaoru from her introspective stare and sent a blush to her cheeks. "But he still has that atonement bullshit thing. I think he's some kind of massagist."

Blue eyes blinked, then brows creased in confusion. "Massagist?"

"Yeah, you know, he likes to punish himself."

Kaoru laughed, finally understanding what he meant. "That's _ 'masochist.'_"

Yahiko shrugged. "Same difference."

"No it's not," her eyes crinkled in amusement. "Where did you learn that word anyway?"

"Megumi."

"... _Excuse_ me?"

The boy looked on with disinterest. "I heard her call Rooster-head that once when he busted up his hand."

"I should have guessed," Kaoru mumbled. Clearing her throat, she changed the subject. "I thought you guys finished with the Tomino family yesterday."

"Well, their house is safe to live in," Yahiko explained, "but the roof needs to be fixed so it doesn't leak and Kenshin decided we'd do that today. After that, we're supposed to go to Nagano's house."

"Sounds like you'll be pretty busy."

"No kidding," the boy grumbled. "He always has to help _strangers_ first."

The last part was said with a tremor of bitterness, the wound of Rakinumura still rubbed him raw. Regardless, the truth of his words couldn't be denied. The need to atone was a driving force in Kenshin's psyche.

_'The need to help others, the compulsion to be in service to those in need... _that's_ what Kenshin _is_. That's his self-appointed duty, isn't it? That's why he became a hitokiri and fought for this era...'_

Kaoru stared blankly at Yahiko as thoughts swirled in her head.

"What?" He asked defensively, pulling her from her pondering. "What are you looking at?"

She blinked and quickly looked away from him, "N-nothing. Sorry."

A pregnant silence pushed against them. Yahiko shifted his weight awkwardly.

"I should be back in time for practice tonight," he said at last.

"Alright," Kaoru caught a stray tear before it escaped down her cheek. "Be careful."

With a brief wave, the boy left. She continued to watch out the window, even as Yahiko approached Kenshin and the two gathered their tools.

_'Helping people is_... cathartic_ for him now,'_ the kendo instructor thought as the two males made their way out the dojo gates._ 'He needs to help people. It's how he helps himself...'_

Kaoru sighed and turned away from the window. She still had a shelf to fix. Hammer in hand, thoughts came unbidden. _'He can't find peace here, can he? Not anymore... not with... _ just _ me...'_

She bit her lip and pounded a nail into the wall.

• • •

The crisp, night air bit at his nose and cheeks, sending shivers down his spine. Kenshin regretted not bringing along a heavier haori. The one he wore was old and offered little protection from the wind. Pulling the garment tighter around his body, Kenshin tried to ignore the growing cold.

He didn't expect the work to take so long to complete. Yahiko left late in the afternoon to practice with Kaoru, leaving him and one other man to complete the work themselves. One problem led to another and before long, the project turned ugly. Five hours later, the job still wasn't finished, but Kenshin felt too tired to continue. His body didn't have the same amount of stamina as it once did. Sleep was too important.

As he stepped past the gate and into the house, he realized Kaoru was waiting up for him. He offered a kind smile, "Hello, Kaoru-dono."

"Hello."

Kenshin removed his haori and relished in the warmth of the house.

"There's some hot tea in the kitchen," she said. "And I saved you some rice balls if you're hungry."

Kenshin smiled politely. "Thank you, Kaoru-dono."

He felt her follow him into the kitchen, her lingering presence alerting him to her need to speak.

"How did things go today?" he asked.

"Fine," Kaoru said, stepping further into the room. The soft glow of the lantern light highlighted her hair. "I helped Tae and Tsubame at the Akabeko for most of the afternoon. They told me to tell you 'hello.'"

"Ah," he smiled. "They're still short staffed?"

"Tae hired three new girls today. One of them is supposed to start tomorrow and the other two next Monday," Kaoru reached for two cups and motioned at the kettle. Kenshin nodded and she poured.

Hands wrapped gingerly around the mug, Kenshin enjoyed the feel of the warmth seep into his calloused skin. The peace trembled as the kendo instructor's aura lapped against him, stirring his nerves. He didn't need to look at her to know she was distressed.

"Is there something you wish to speak to me about, Kaoru-dono?"

She blinked, caught by the directness of his words. "Well... yes."

He waited quietly as Kaoru found her voice.

"It's been over two months since the earthquake," she began.

He sipped his tea.

"You've been working hard everyday... helping people rebuild, protecting property... a lot of families all over Tokyo are grateful to you."

Kenshin's brows creased as he wondered where she was going with this.

"It brings you peace, doesn't it?" She asked, "Becoming a rurouni... changed you, didn't it? Helping people made you happy again?"

Understanding dawned. When the earthquake hit, Kaoru had asked him if he wanted to become a rurouni again. His answer sparked her ire and he never had the chance to explain himself to her. Now the opportunity was upon him once more.

"Kaoru-dono, I hurt several families during the revolution. Men never came home to their wives and children because the _Battousai_ cut them down," his expression was grave. "If helping people will help ease the pain I caused, then I will do it."

She nodded. "That's what I thought." Kaoru peered into her tea cup, "You still want to become a rurouni again, don't you?"

His long pause brought Kaoru's eyes to meet his.

"I do."

The tea called to her and Kaoru stared into the cup once more. Raven brows creased, she chewed on her lip, then clenched her jaw. After several moments, she looked him in the eye once more. "Do you love me?"

"I can't let myself," he said, empathy reflecting in his expression.

She squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath.

"Kaoru-dono, I—"

Her eyes opened again with a fresh hardness. "When will you leave?"

Kenshin couldn't hide his stunned surprise. The last thing he expected was for her to ask such a question. She was practically giving him _permission_ to leave. His greatest worry for the last few months was how she would react when he finally decided to leave. He had hurt her too much already. He didn't want to hurt her _more._ He'd done enough of that already.

_'She's changed,' _he thought. _'She's beginning to fall out of love with me...'_

A grimace rippled through him. There were too many regrets already. It was time to let go.

"I was thinking of leaving at the end of the month," he said.

Kaoru placed her tea cup on the counter, the steaming liquid still untouched. He felt her demeanor shift from passive questioning to forced confidence. The girl squared her shoulders and lifted her chin. Every inch of her appeared determined and independent except her eyes. They glowed with a dolefulness that made his heart ache.

"I won't wait for you, Kenshin. I want you to be happy again, but I can't..." Her voice broke and she squeezed her eyes shut once more. Struggling to maintain her composure, the rest came out in a strained whisper, "I _**won't** wait_ for you. Not if you can't let yourself love me."

• • •

TWO MONTHS LATER

Flowers lined the grave site, indicating a recent visitor. Enishi stared at the matching bouquet of white plums leaning against the stone and grimaced.

_'Battousai must have been here,'_ he surmised from the evidence, _'and recently, too...'_

Movement caught his eye. Two elderly men were heading out of the cemetery, both wore similar uniforms.

"Excuse me?" Enishi called to them, wanting to confirm his hypothesis.

They paused and turned.

"Are you the caretakers here?"

"Yes, we are," the taller one said. "What can we help you with?"

Enishi's lips parted into a charming smile. "I was wondering if you saw who left this bouquet of white plums at Yukishiro Tomoe's grave?"

Both men made their way toward him to peer at the grave in question.

The shorter gent spoke first. "A woman stopped by here about three..." he paused and rubbed his chin thoughtfully, "maybe four days ago."

Enishi's brows creased. "A _woman?_"

"Yeah. You saw her, didn't you Taji? That little redheaded woman?"

"Redheaded woman?" Taji concentrated as he searched for the memory. Face red with exasperation, he glared at his companion. "You blind fool! That was a _man._"

"It was?"

Enishi smiled with amusement. It should be no surprise that a frail looking man with such girlish hair would be mistaken as a woman. Obviously some semblance of justice still existed on this screwed-up planet.

"You're sure?" The shorter man asked with lingering doubt. "She... _he _seems too... _pretty_ to be a man..."

"Of course I'm sure."

Enishi adjusted his hold on the wrapped tachi. "Did you happen to notice if he had a scar on his cheek?"

"She didn't have a scar."

Taji rolled his eyes at his co-worker's quick response. "I didn't notice any scar, but we didn't get a good look at him." He pointed to a fresh grave, "We were preparing that plot over there when he came by."

"I see," Enishi gazed at the recently dug grave. From that position, they wouldn't see the scar. Not unless Battousai turned to face them or turned his back to nee-san's grave.

"Was there another woman with him?" Enishi asked. "She would have been a bit shorter than him, with long, black hair."

"No, he was alone. He only stayed a few minutes to pray, and then he left."

"I see," came the soft reply. Enishi smiled, "You've been very helpful, thank you."

The two men smiled in return and went on their way, leaving Enishi alone with his sister. Two images formed in his mind. One of Tomoe and the other of Kamiya. His sister's expression had softened since learning the truth of her relationship with Battousai. She had yet to fully smile for him, but her eyes were no longer sad. In fact, Enishi was certain now what would make his sister happy.

With that thought, Kamiya's image burned brighter in his mind. _She_ was what Tomoe wanted for him. _She_ was what he needed.

_'I'm coming to see you, Kamiya. I'm coming to take you away from Battousai _forever._' _


	14. chapter thirteen :: konnichi wa

**Catharsis**

**konnichi wa  
**.:chapter thirteen:.

* * *

Kaoru wiped her brow, smearing a shadow of dust across her forehead. She peered at her student through thick bangs, "You told Tae that you needed to leave an hour early today, right?"

"Yeah, I told her about it yesterday," he replied, pessimism ringing in his tone.

His melancholy earned a frown. It was obvious something was bothering the boy. Blowing her bangs out of her eyes, Kaoru gave the aged chest one last nudge. The effort pushed it completely out of the crawl space and launched dust bunnies into the air.

"If you come home and I'm not here," she said, fanning away the airborne granules, "I'll be at Megumi's clinic helping her pack."

Yahiko sighed. "I know."

"Bring some good clothes with you tonight. We're going to take her out to dinner."

A nod.

Her eyes narrowed. His moodiness and one-word answers were starting to bug her. "What's wrong?"

"Nothin'."

She tilted her head toward him. "Tell me what's wrong."

He shifted his weight. "Nothin'."

Kaoru assessed him a moment longer, then stood and dusted herself off. "You're pouting."

"I'm _not_ pouting."

"Okay. Then what's bothering you?"

Yahiko rubbed the back of his head and mumbled, "Nothin'."

Hands on her hips and jaw clenched, Kaoru gave him a impatient glare. She would not accept his childish denial when it was clear as day he was crabby about _something._

"Out with it."

The boy grumbled something incoherent under his breath. Then resigned himself to her demand.

"Everyone's taking off," he complained. "Sano left town. Kenshin's gone... and now Megumi's leaving. So much for the Kenshin-gumi."

Understanding relaxed her stance. She knew he missed Sano. And regardless of the grudge Yahiko still nursed toward Kenshin, he wasn't thrilled with the him leaving. Now with Megumi leaving for Aizu, the boy must feel like everything was falling apart.

"You know she's been talking about going back to Aizu for a long time."

"I know."

"She still has some cousins there," she continued. "I think she's probably homesick."

Yahiko pressed his lips together. Kaoru didn't like seeing him holding back. He was being uncharacteristically quiet. Did his resentment run deeper than she realized? Mentioning Sano probably wouldn't be wise. She had no idea where he was... though she heard a rumor the other day that claimed he went to America.

"Megumi has already invited us to stay with her in Aizu after she gets settled," Kaoru said, trying to perk him up. "And Kenshin promised to visit."

A snort. "Yeah, right," he muttered under his breath.

Kaoru raised a brow.

"You really think we're ever going to see him again?"

"He said he'd come back and visit us. I believe him."

"Of course you do," Yahiko rolled his eyes. "I gotta go or I'll be late for work."

"I thought you understood why he left."

"I understand," his shoulders squared obstinately. "Kenshin's a prick. I thought he was getting better, but he wasn't. He gave up and left." Yahiko's fists clenched at his sides, "I hope he doesn't come back."

"Yahiko—"

The boy turned on his heel. "I gotta go."

"Wait a minute, Yahiko..."

"I gotta go!"

Kaoru frowned. The timing of Megumi's departure couldn't have come at a worse time. She never thought it would upset Yahiko this much. He was acting like he did the first few days of Kaoru's return from Enishi's island.

"Alright," she sighed. "But I still want to talk later."

"Whatever," he shrugged and gave her a dismissive wave. "I'll see you later."

Kaoru seated herself on the floor after Yahiko left and rummaged through the chest she pulled out of storage. The first item her fingers chose was an old, leather-bound journal that once belonged to her grandfather. Pages of haiku and various sketches moved past her fingertips as she flipped through the book. Her grandfather had an artistic and sensitive soul. It was no wonder that his eldest son would one day found the Kamiya Kasshin Ryu, the sword that protects life.

Setting the book aside, Kaoru continued to search through her grandfather's things.

_'There _has_ to be something of Grandpa's that I can sell...'_

Sighing, Kaoru tried to ignore the quiver of guilt. She really hated selling her grandfather's things, but she didn't have much choice. Money was growing tight. Kaoru expected that as the rebuilding effort reached its goal, Maekawa would ask her to come help out at his dojo again. He had yet to contact her and the Akebeko was once again fully staffed. Without a means of earning money, Yahiko was left as the sole source of income.

Such circumstances left a bad taste in her mouth. Yahiko was her responsibility, her student. Kaoru hated asking him for help she was supposed to provide.

But the kendo instructor didn't give up hope. If she could sell a couple of her grandfather's paintings, she would have enough money to buy ink and paper. That way she could advertise the dojo and maybe attract a few students. If that didn't work, she would have to start begging for a job. And it would have to be something that would enable her to continue her long training sessions with Yahiko. The boy was so eager to learn, she could hardly keep up with him.

Two paintings chosen for the sacrifice, Kaoru carefully rolled them up. She could probably get a couple hundred yen for each of them. Maybe more if she dressed nicely and poured on the charm.

_'What should I wear?'_

A variety of possible kimono and obi combinations filtered through her mind as she entered the house. She had a really nice pastel kimono that looked good on her. And another one with a butterfly pattern and dark blue trim.

Kaoru inspected her wardrobe. She had several favorite kimonos, but nothing seemed to jump out at her. In fact, the more she looked, the more some of the robes started to look sellable. Before long, she forgot the original reason why she was looking through her closet. Instead she was selecting garments she hoped to trade or sell in the marketplace.

As she reached the back of her closet, a very familiar blue and white kimono peeked at her from the shadows. She remembered hiding it behind her other clothes the day she returned. At the time, she thought it best not to wear the outfit again. It would remind Kenshin of Enishi's jinchuu and she didn't want to aggravate the rurouni's overly-zealous guilt. For the last eight months the kimono hung in total darkness.

Kaoru fingered the high quality material. _'I forgot this was in here,'_ she thought. Pulling it into the light, Kaoru was once again enamored by its beauty.

_'Who would have thought Enishi had such great taste?'_

A simper revealed her dimples. Then the memory of Enishi presenting her with the kimono moved through her mind. His announcement that she would be returning to Tokyo, her impulsive request that he come with her, the resulting argument... and then the kiss.

Cheeks still blushed as she reminisced his sudden closeness. While the kiss had been unexpected and somewhat frightening, it was by no means unpleasant.

Fingers unconsciously slid across her lips. She hadn't thought of the kiss in several weeks. Not since the earthquake.

With the memory loomed a familiar question. _'I_ _wonder why he kissed me..?_'

Kaoru was still unable to answer that question satisfactorily. Of course, she did her best _not_ to think about it for a long time. Remembering the kiss made her feel as though she betraying Kenshin. Forgetting the event ever occurred became habit.

But now she didn't feel guilty for thinking about the kiss. Curiosity teased her brain instead.

_'Enishi had to be the one to send me those supplies,'_ Kaoru carefully returned the kimono to the closet. _'But how did he know? Does he have people watching me?' _

Paranoia fluttered around her. On reflex, Kaoru glanced out the window. She almost expected to see a pair of eyes staring back at her. Of course, no one was there.

Certainly Enishi had the means to send people to spy on her... but _would_ he? If he had hired someone to watch the house, it would be so he could keep tabs on Kenshin, not her_._

_'But he said it was over,'_ a counter-argument whispered in her mind. '_Jinchuu is meaningless now that he knows the truth. Maybe t__he gift of supplies was just his way of trying to apologize. I'm sure it doesn't mean anything more than that.'_

• • •

NEXT DAY

Chin resting on his palm, Enishi took in the late aftermath of the earthquake as his carriage made its way through the city. The contrast between older buildings and the ones that had been recently rebuilt reminded him of Battousai. Enishi knew the bastard had spent a lot of time in the center of the city searching for victims and digging them out. It was perilous work... how unfortunate that a wall didn't fall on him. Such an event would have been superb.

The carriage stopped abruptly in the middle of the street. Enishi craned his neck to see what the problem was. The street before them was littered with debris from an overturned wagon loaded with goods. The spill was recent and the clean-up would be lengthy. Now that he was in Tokyo, he didn't want to wait.

He wanted to see her.

"Yagami."

The driver leaned back. "Sir?"

"I'm going to walk the rest of the way," Enishi said. "I'll call for you if I need you."

"Yes, sir."

With that, he departed the carriage. People glanced at him out of the corners of their eyes, instantly recognizing him as an unusual foreigner. With his white hair, Chinese clothes and the strange, neatly wrapped item slung over his shoulder, Enishi wasn't one to disappear into a crowd. He ignored them, as he often did, and focused instead on reaching his goal. The rows of people thinned significantly as he crossed the bridge. Minutes later, he stood outside the gates of the Kamiya dojo. A brass bell hung next to the gate. He rang it once, and waited.

Light footsteps hurried to the gate. A latch lifted, the door shuttered, and then it slowly swung open. A pair of blue eyes stared up at him in shock as heart-shaped lips parted soundlessly.

She looked nice in her kimono. Refreshing. Even in spite of her mouth hanging open in surprise.

"Good afternoon, Kamiya."

She blinked. "E-enishi? What are you..."

Kamiya's brows knit in confusion. It was amusing to see her so thrown off guard.

Her wits gathered, she said, "Kenshin's not here."

"I know."

The puzzlement returned in an instant. Unrealized expectation swirled around them. She stared into his eyes, then quickly looked away. He smirked when he saw the first signs of a blush rising on her cheeks. His sudden appearance clearly threw her off guard.

_'If I'm not here to see Battousai, Kamiya, I must be here to see you.'_

He was tempted to speak his thoughts out loud, but Kamiya stole his opportunity. Suddenly remembering her manners, she stepped to the side.

"Please come in."

She was still flustered. It was almost cute. Smiling, Enishi accepted her invitation. He heard her shut the gate behind him as he eyed the house and dojo. New shingles peppered the roofs on both structures.

Kamiya entered his field of vision and his gaze moved to focus on her alone. Questions crowded her features, but Enishi offered no answers. The corners of her lips pressed downward for a brief second before being swallowed up by her words.

"Would you like some tea?"

His eyes crinkled with a smile, "Yes, thank you."

She nodded, and made her way toward the house. He followed slowly, scanning the property for the boy she trained. _'He must be at work,'_ he thought as he removed his shoes at the entrance and placed them next to hers.

His eyes took in everything with practiced alertness. The house felt large and empty with silence hanging around it like a shroud. Wall hangings and knickknacks bore testimony to happier days, but the generous space only seemed to remind a person of their oneness. A creak of the floorboards underfoot gave him pause. The house seemed to literally groan at him.

Being welcomed into her home, though expected, felt abruptly wrong to him. But then she did have a habit of inviting anyone into her home, regardless of who they were or what they had done. Her kindness was her best quality and greatest fault all at once.

"I have Oolong or Jasmine tea," her disembodied voice called out to him.

Enishi followed the sound and found her placing a kettle out to boil. "Jasmine is fine."

Kamiya pulled the box of dried herbs from the cupboard. They waited for the water to boil without a word. Enishi took the quiet opportunity to study her. Her kimono was a deep purple. It was cinched at the waist with a matching obi adorned with a subtle flower pattern. The outfit was understated, yet tasteful. The color of the outfit complemented her complexion nicely.

She still wore her hair in a high ponytail, but her customary ribbon was missing. Instead, she used a simple tie to keep the locks in place. He couldn't decide if he liked her hair better with or without the ribbon. Delicate fingers distracted him as they unconsciously pushed her bangs out of her eyes. They were longer now and at that stage where the ends were constantly brushing against her eyelashes.

He tilted his head as he looked at her, trying to imagine her without the bangs. _'She'd look more mature,'_ he decided.

Moments later, they seated themselves in the dining room. Kaoru poured the tea and was the first to speak, "How have you been, Enishi?"

He sipped. Interesting that she asked about him first, rather than why he was there. "Fine. Tired of traveling, but fine."

Kamiya took the bait.

"What brings you to Tokyo?"

"You."

Her brows arched. "P-_pardon?_"

A smirk was the only answer she received.

"How long are you planning to stay in town?"

"I haven't decided. I've been in Japan for several weeks." Another sip. "Visiting you was done on a whim," he lied, "I heard Battousai left you, so I thought I'd pay you a visit."

"He didn't _'leave'_ me," she said, a little too defensively.

"You finally came to your senses and kicked him out?"

"No! I didn't kick him out and he didn't _'leave'_ me," she huffed. "He promised to come back."

Disgust mixed with jealousy bubbled up within him. Kamiya would probably view him in a friendly light until her dying breath. Biting back his caustic urges, Enishi said, "You're a fool to wait for him."

"Who said I'm _'waiting'_ for him? He told me he didn't—" She caught herself in mid-sentence, not allowing herself to finish the divulgence.

His stoic exterior gave no indication of his wonderment. He had expected her to still love the monster, but it seemed those feelings were waning. Enishi let her unspoken words seep into him as he sipped the tea.

He should have noticed it sooner.

Her eyes no longer brightened with girlish infatuation when she thought of Battousai. Nor did he hear that annoying optimism coming from her lips when she said his name. A fondness was still there... but nothing more.

_'He promised to come back, did he?'_ A smirk lifted the corners of his mouth. _'I'll just have to be here when that happens.'_

• • •

_'What's he grinning about?'_

Kaoru eyed her guest warily. He'd lost some weight, his hair was a few centimeters longer, but he seemed normal. Well, as normal as Enishi could be. The angry-suspicious nature that she'd grown accustomed to on the island was now barely noticeable.

At least so far.

"When did you leave Shanghai?" Kaoru asked, trying to push the conversation away from Kenshin.

Enishi finished his cup and Kaoru automatically refilled it. "I never returned to Shanghai."

"You didn't?"

"What made you think I went there?" His eyes grinned with a secret.

"I got a shipment from China," she said. "It was rather expensive and... well," her lips stretched into an embarrassed smile, "You're the only one I know who lived in China so I guessed it was from you."

"It was."

Kaoru's smile quivered. Her cheeks reddened. Renewed tingles of paranoia licked at her nerves. "How did you know to send all of that?"

"I've had people watching Battousai for nearly three years." His eyes still grinned at her when he spoke, "When I sent you home, I asked them to keep tabs on you. I heard of the earthquake and damage to your home, so naturally I ordered supplies to be sent to you."

"Oh," Kaoru shifted uncomfortably. He was acting so... _nice_. It was kind of eerie. And she didn't know how to feel about him keeping tabs on her. Should she feel flattered or frightened?

Weighing him critically, her blush returned. _'Flattered.'_

"Thank you," she smiled, trying to ignore the predatory spark in his eyes. "They were a great help. There was even enough left over to help a handful of other families."

"Mmm."

"So... what did you do after I left?" Kaoru asked, once again trying to push the conversation toward something more comfortable to talk about.

"I stayed on the island. Then I left a few weeks ago to go to Kyoto."

Her brows scrunched together. _'Kyoto?'_

"You visited your sister's grave?"

His lips straightened as eyes grew dark. "So did Battousai."

Kaoru swallowed. "You... _saw_ him?"

"No, I saw the bouquet he left for her."

"I didn't know Kenshin went to Kyoto," she said delicately, "but I guess I'm not surprised."

"Like a dog returning to its vomit," he remarked, a virulent quality tainting his voice.

Kaoru opened her mouth to argue the point that Kenshin had every right to visit Tomoe. She _was_ his wife after all. However, pointing out that fact would do nothing to ease his animosity.

She nursed her cup of tea and considered the man before her. Speaking about Kenshin showed Kaoru what she needed to see. Spiritually and emotionally, Enishi wasn't any better than when she left him. Jinchuu was aborted, but the malevolence that conceived it still existed... as did the hurt he tried to bury.

_'He's still trying to piece himself back together. Being alone on the island for so long hasn't helped him.' _She frowned into her cup,_ 'I knew it wouldn't...'_

"Do you have somewhere to stay, Enishi?" Kaoru asked.

His dark expression faltered.

"Because if you don't," she offered a genuine smile, "you're welcome to stay here for a while."

• • •

People can be complete assholes. He always knew that to be true. For as long as he could remember, someone was always trying to take advantage of him or his family. Seeing greed up close and personal wasn't a new occurrence. But sometimes Yahiko forgot how rude and annoying people could be. After smacking a grown man across the head with his shinai for fondling Tae's rear, the reminder came through loud and clear.

_'Sake and horny men do _not_ mix,'_ Yahiko thought darkly. Thankfully, his long day had finally come to an end. Stepping beyond the threshold of the house, he bent down and removed his shoes. It was then that he noticed an anomaly.

Next to Kaoru's shoes sat a pair of unfamiliar black Chinese slippers.

Eyes narrowed, Yahiko stepped into the house. He heard muffled voices coming from the kitchen. Muscles grew tense, then relaxed when he heard Kaoru laugh.

_'Must be someone she knows,'_ he mussed. _'Maybe Maekawa stopped by...'_

"I'm home, Kaoru," he called to her.

The voices instantly quieted. A second later, he heard footsteps approaching. Yahiko's stomach growled as the scent of dinner flirted with his nostrils. He'd been so busy at work he barely had a chance to take a break. Now that he was home, all he wanted to do was eat, practice and then sleep. He was in no mood to entertain one of Kaoru's friends.

"Yahiko," Kaoru said, an apprehensive look on her face.

"What's up?"

Before she could answer, a tall man with white hair appeared behind her. Eyes wide, mouth hanging open, Yahiko could only stare in muted shock.

"It's okay," Kaoru said in a rush. "Enishi is here as a friend."

Yahiko thought his head would explode when she said the word 'friend.' Reaching for his shinai, he growled, "What the _HELL_ is _he_ doing here?!"


	15. chapter fourteen :: equal trade

**Catharsis**

**equal trade  
**.:chapter fourteen:.

* * *

The air surged with contempt. Eyes narrowed and teeth bared, it was obvious Yahiko was ready for a fight. He shifted his weight and spread his feet apart just as he'd been trained as fingers tightly curled around the hilt of his shinai. If she didn't do something, he would attempt a strike.

"Yahiko!" Kaoru snapped.

He ignored her, his attention totally focused on the white-haired man standing behind his sensei. A war of intimidation was going on around her and Kaoru was caught in the middle. Being the impassioned youth that he was, Yahiko would not back down on his own. His haste to begin a battle he had no chance of winning pushed Kaoru forward.

"What are you doing?" Kaoru demanded, hands on her hips. "Stop!"

The boy stuttered in his stance, his eyes darting angrily from Enishi to Kaoru and back again. She felt her former captor move closer to her. His nearness exacerbating the situation.

"Yahiko," she said, trying to keep her voice at a reassuring tone. "He's not here to hurt anyone—"

"Bullshit!"

A quiet snort from behind tickled her nerves. Without looking at him, Kaoru knew Enishi was purposely nettling the boy. Probably with that same haughty expression she got used to seeing on the island.

Yahiko scowled. Whatever silent communication was going on between the two males, it was pushing the boy further into his anger. Ears glowing red with fury, he raised his weapon. Kaoru didn't allow him a chance to assume an offensive posture. Skilled hands caught the shaft of the shinai and wrenched it away.

"Yahiko, I told you to _stop!"_

He grunted and grabbed for the weapon. She moved back to avoid reaching fingers and bumped into Enishi. He steadied her automatically, but his hand lingered on her upper arm a few seconds too long.

"Let _go_ of her," Yahiko growled.

Being the jerk that he was, he squeezed her arm fondly before letting his hand fall away. Kaoru could have strangled him for further baiting her student.

"It's okay," she said, putting some distance between herself and Enishi. "He's not here to hurt anyone, Yahiko. Trust me."

"Trust?! Have you lost your mind?" Yahiko tried to swipe the weapon again. "He's a total psycho!"

"Let's go talk about this in the other room, okay?" Kaoru offered.

"Hell no! If he's not leaving, I'm not letting him out of my sight!"

"Yahiko—"

Indignant, he refused once more, "No! No way!"

Kaoru rubbed her temple, Yahiko fumed, and Enishi watched the exchange with smug amusement.

"Fine," Kaoru yielded. "We'll talk here."

• • •

The conversation began awkwardly. The first half hour tested Kaoru's patience considerably. She'd never seen Yahiko so riled. So intense was his attention directed at his perceived enemy that Kaoru was forced to repeat herself several times. It wasn't until Enishi turned his back to them and allowed them some semblance of privacy that Yahiko began to calm down.

"I _asked_ him to stay," Kaoru whispered. "He needs our help, even if he won't admit to it."

He rolled his eyes and sighed impatiently.

"Telling him to leave won't help him. He's needs to be around normal people."

"He needs a sword in the belly."

Kaoru sighed. "I'm not going to turn him away, Yahiko."

His jaw tightened and hands clenched at his gi.

"He needs someone to remind him of his humanity." Kaoru continued, her voice pitched so only he could hear. "We should help him."

"_No._"

"Yahiko—"

"No!" He glared at her, "I don't want him here."

Kaoru closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Their conversation was just going around in circles. Every time she tried to defend her actions and make a point, Yahiko maintained his original declaration that Enishi was unwelcome and psychotic. As far as the boy was concerned, Enishi needed to leave. The sooner, the better.

The boy's stubbornness was making her want to start yelling again.

"Sano was right, wasn't he?" Yahiko asked, sotto voce.

She blinked, not really following him at first. Then the memory of Sano's accusation came to the surface of her mind, _'You have a thing for Psycho over there, don't you?'_

"No," she said, cheeks taking on a rosy hue.

He snorted, then looked away from her again.

"Yahiko," she whispered. "I think we can help him. He could have killed me, but he didn't. He's not going after Kenshin anymore. He's the one who sent all of those supplies after the earthquake..."

Kaoru gazed at the back of Enishi's head, "I really believe that he's _trying_ to change. Everyone deserves a second chance, don't they?"

The muscles in the boy's jaw twitched and jumped.

Kaoru implored him once more. "Please trust me on this, Yahiko. Enishi's _not_ an evil person—"

"Are you listening to yourself?!" He glared at her. "You're nuts!"

"Excuse me?"

"You keep talking about trust... but how can I trust you when you trust _him?!_"

"Yahiko—"

"He _kidnapped_ you." The boy ranted, "_He's_ the reason everything went to hell! Everything would be normal if he hadn't shown up!!"

"You're placing blame on the wrong person, brat," Enishi interjected, his back still pointed at them.

Yahiko's ears glowed red once more. "You SHUT up!"

"Battousai knew he was being hunted when he came to live here," Enishi turned to look at her student over his shoulder. His eyes shined with spite. "He's a bastard, not an idiot."

Yahiko glared. Enishi returned the look with disdain. Kaoru clenched her jaw and tried to control her temper.

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" The boy asked between clenched teeth.

"Figure it out for yourself, brat."

"Go to HELL you psycho-freak-BASTARD!"

Enishi's eyes narrowed dangerously and Yahiko shot to his feet, "You're not welcome here—"

"SHUT UP!" Kaoru yelled, her temper finally taking over. "Both of you!"

Two pairs of eyes moved to regard her. She huffed and pushed her bangs out of her eyes.

"Buso—"

"I said **shut up!**" Frustration made her fingers twitch and curl into tight fists. "It's not your place to tell him to leave. I invited him to stay!"

A smirk caught her eye, stirring her ire further. Yahiko saw the look as well and bristled.

"You don't have anything to smile about, Enishi," she said, defending her student. "You're antagonizing Yahiko on purpose. You're a guest! Act like it!"

• • •

He awoke minutes before the first rays of morning touched the landscape. Silence permeated the walls, soaking into his being as he stared up at the ceiling.

Kamiya invited him to stay. Just as he presumed she would. In spite of Kamiya's irritating student, everything was coming together. Even better than he anticipated.

From the very beginning, Enishi assumed he would be walking into a fight. If not an actual physical battle, then certainly a psychological and emotional contest of wills. Kamiya was stubborn. He knew that first hand. But he had an edge. Though he had a difficult time seeing it, he knew Tomoe was smiling upon him. Battousai's departure from Kamiya's home was proof enough. It was obvious why the hitokiri left her. It was the same reason why the cross-shaped scar would never fade.

Nee-san was keeping him and allowing Enishi a chance at solace. Kamiya would fill the emptiness that remained after Tomoe's death.

It was an even exchange. Battousai took Tomoe from him, so Enishi would take Kamiya from Battousai. And if doing so caused the bastard some additional torment and pain, all the better.

_'Kamiya still cares for him,'_ Enishi thought darkly. He would be a fool to underestimate Battousai's influence. Even though her feelings for the murderer were beginning to wane and Battousai was rurouni once again, she still harbored loyalty and deep fondness.

_'How can she remain so devoted to him?' _Lips formed a tight line, _'Is it because he promised to return? In spite of the fact that he had abandoned her. Not once, but twice..!'_

Sitting up and running a hand through his hair, Enishi imagined what the future meeting with his brother-in-law would be like. He still wanted to kill the bastard, but knew doing so would win him no favor with Kamiya. He would have to kill him another way. Kill him in Kamiya's heart.

_'Perhaps by the time Battousai returns, Kamiya's affection will be for me alone...'_

Sunlight lightened the room, motivating Enishi to rise from his futon. He stood and stretched, flexing muscles and rotating joints. The night was good to him. He slept peacefully, something he very rarely enjoyed. Fastening the last button on his shirt, Enishi slid open the door to his room.

Turquoise eyes were immediately drawn downward. Curled up on the floor just outside Kamiya's door slept the brat, shinai tightly clenched in both hands. Enishi frowned. The door to Kamiya's room was diagonal to his own. At what point during the night did the boy set up camp to play guard dog for his sensei? And dragging his futon with him no less.

Enishi was both disturbed and impressed. The brat managed to do all that without disturbing his sleep. No easy feat. And his attachment to Kamiya was commendable. Not to mention distinctly familiar. A sense of kinship stirred in Enishi's belly. The boy was very much like himself. Floorboards creaking, Enishi stepped around Yahiko, intent on going to the kitchen.

"You don't belong here, you bastard," a groggy voice uttered from behind.

He turned and watched the boy rise to his feet. The tip of the shinai quivered in his direction.

"_Leave._ You're not welcome here."

"Kamiya would disagree," Enishi said, voice even.

"That's because she doesn't see you for what you are."

Lips twisted into a smile. Hadn't he said the very same thing to Kamiya the day he kissed her?

"That's true. She doesn't." Enishi stepped toward him, "But then that's why she let Battousai, Zanza and a pit-pocket into her home, isn't it?"

Knuckles turned white as Yahiko choked the hilt of his weapon. The boy trembled with anger, then swung precipitously at his enemy's head. Withering stares crackled between them as Enishi held the tip of the shinai in his fist. A sudden, forceful shove, and Yahiko stumbled backward to land hard on his rear.

"Be prepared for the consequences if you ever do something like that again," Enishi said, voice low. "Unlike Battousai and Kamiya, I fight to kill_._"

He tossed the shinai back to Yahiko. "I have no intention of leaving, brat," he hissed, eyes gleamed with conviction. "I'm here to stay."

• • •

Sweat dripped from her chin as she defended against his attack. Aggressive strikes forced Kaoru backward. She blocked, turned and struck, sending Yahiko stumbling forward. The sparring was far more intense than normal, both sensei and student guilty of pushing the other to their limit. Kaoru wanted to underscore her position as his master and Yahiko wanted to express his frustration with her stubbornness.

The strenuous exercise provided the outlet both individuals needed. He had been getting on her nerves since the moment she stepped out of her bedroom. She knew words had been exchanged between Yahiko and Enishi early that morning, but neither would admit to it. The tension between them was tangible, but the way the boy shadowed her made it worse. Not once since daybreak did the boy leave her side. Even when she had to go to the outhouse, he waited by the door for her. Worse, Yahiko made it a point to be as vexatious toward Enishi as possible.

Kaoru put up with his clingy behavior because she understood why he was doing it. She figured by the time he was due to go to work, he'd be tired of lurking around her.

No such luck.

Yahiko decided that playing hooky would be the best way to make an uncomfortable situation worse, thus forcing the discord to continue. Frustrated, Kaoru decided to engage the boy in an impromptu training session. Yahiko heartily agreed. The moment the lesson began, Kaoru was fully aware of Enishi's eyes upon her. At first, she felt distinctly self-conscious. But as the lesson continued, Kaoru became less aware of his scrutiny.

An hour later, Kaoru knew it was time to end the skills portion of the training and have Yahiko work on building his strength. She took a seat close to Enishi as the boy counted out his strikes. They watched her student for several minutes before Enishi finally spoke.

"He's not bad for a brat his age."

"Don't call him that," Kaoru glared at him. "It just makes him mad."

A smirk. "I know."

His blatant devilishness was galling at first, but the amusement that crinkled his eyes made her lips twitch upwards in spite of herself. Still, it wasn't right for him to treat Yahiko like that. The boy was trying to protect her. Kaoru couldn't help but to feel touched by the sentiment.

"I'm serious," she said, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. "He has good reason to dislike you right now. Stop provoking him."

He didn't reply. Instead he shifted in his seat and leaned back, supporting his weight with his palms. She studied him as he watched the boy, trying to get a read on what he was thinking. His focus on Yahiko remained steady until Kaoru succumbed and followed his gaze.

Her best student was clearly distracted. His strikes were clumsy and irregular. His eyes were constantly wandering in her direction, leaving Kaoru no doubt about what was bothering him. She sighed, and swallowed the urge to reprimand him for his sloppiness. It was better to let him get it out of his system then harp on him for not maintaining his consistency.

_'I should move,'_ Kaoru thought guiltily. _'I'm not helping the situation by sitting next to Enishi...'_

She stood and straightened her gi when an unexpected comment gave her pause.

"There's a flaw in your defense."

Kaoru blinked. "Pardon?"

Enishi's attention remained fixed on the boy. "When he made a thrust for your torso, you turned and then pushed him." His eyes swiveled toward her, "You're open for attack during those few seconds when you pivot and shift your weight."

The image of Saitou losing his right hand to Enishi's counter to the gatotsu filled Kaoru's mind.

"Plenty of time for someone to slash you to death," he finished.

The kendo instructor replayed her technique in her mind. She didn't think she made any mistakes... and she was successfully able to force her attacker off-balance. That was the whole point of the move.

Lip caught between her teeth and brows creased, Kaoru couldn't see the flaw. Lowering herself next to him once more, she said, "But I didn't make any mistakes..."

"I can show you what I saw," he said.

A blush brightened her features. "Show me?"

"When was the last time you sparred against someone more skilled than yourself?"

"Not since... my father died," she admitted quietly.

"Mmm," he returned his attention to her student. "I see."

A calloused thumb absently rubbed a cuticle as she thought of the days when she had been in Yahiko's place. Her father used to spar with her on a daily basis. At the time, she had been too young to recognize the richness of his lessons. With the benefit of hindsight, she realized how seemingly trivial words of advice had matured into a wealth of knowledge. Each session yielded a deeper understanding of the Kamiya Kasshin Ryu. With that understanding came a higher level of skill and confidence.

She loved the art and she loved growing in it.

_'How much have my skills grown since daddy died?' _Concern suddenly drooped her features as unease fluttered in her belly. _'Could it be...? Are my skills starting to get... rusty?' _

Kaoru studied Enishi's profile.

_'Why did he tell me about the flaw in my defense? Is he trying to tease me...?'_

She frowned. Then another possibility entered her mind. As soon as the idea popped into her head, she blurted out the question to confirm it.

"Are you offering to spar with me, Enishi?"

His lack of immediate response gave her doubt. To save face, she quickly added, "Or are you just trying to tease me for not being as skilled as you?"

A mischievous grin lifted his features.

Kaoru huffed and the smirk remained in place, "Never mind. Forget it."

"What happened to the tomboy swordswoman? You're more thick-skinned than that, aren't you?"

She scowled. He looked on, smugness playing about his lips.

"I don't mind showing you how you can improve your defenses," he said. "And if you're up for a spar, so am I."

Cheeks flushed, Kaoru tried to mimic his ability to appear detached. The effort failed miserably. Fortunately, Enishi chose not to capitalize on the opportunity to make her squirm.

"Umm... I really don't think Yahiko would be too pleased to see you with a sword in your hand. And pointed at me, no less," she commented seriously. "He'd probably freak out."

His lips quivered upward. Then a good-natured chuckle bubbled up from within. A real, honest chuckle. One born from amusement and not mania. It was the first time she ever heard such an honest sound come him.

"He probably would," Enishi agreed, voice reflecting his cheer. It was a pleasing tone.

Smiling in return, she said, "Maybe another time."


	16. chapter fifteen :: chemistry

**AN:** Normally special terms are defined at the bottom of a chapter, but I figure it would help you guys to visualize the movement if you knew what it was.

**Chiburi**: If a bloody sword is resheathed, it will stick in the scabbard and be useless. Removal of excess blood is done either by shaking or a whipping motion with the wrist (chiburi) or wiping (chinugui). This operation must not be regarded as a formality. It should be done deliberately and menacingly. Above all, it must be done without showing any sign of weakness or lack of alertness.

The point here is that you are performing for the benefit of any onlookers who might be waiting for an opportunity to attack. So, at the very least, you must not look down.

* * *

**Catharsis**

**chemistry  
**.:chapter fifteen:.

* * *

Foot pressed firmly on the excess slack of rope, she pulled with her uninjured arm. Sweat endangered her grasp, but she held tight. Grunting, she strained as she tried to hoist the heavy bucket out of the well.

Another inch of success, and she prepared to pull again. Aching fingers curled stiffly around the rope. Try as she might, she couldn't maintain a good grip on the cord. She felt it slipping away and gasped. On reflex she yanked, but the effort did nothing to stop the decent.

Fingers screamed in pain from the friction of the sliding rope. She released it automatically and seconds later heard the bucket splash into the water below. Ignoring her stinging palm, she struggled to squelch her frustration.

With a defeated sigh, she leaned against the well. _'Maybe I should just wait for Yuta to do this for me...'_

"Excuse me," a gentle voice said from the road, disrupting her thoughts. She blinked at the unfamiliar young man and he offered a disarming smile. "Do you need assistance?"

She sensed his sincerity and grinned. "Please."

He stepped forward and lowered his pack. Hand over fist, the bucket filled with water slowly made its way to the lip of the well.

"Thank you," she watched him work with a grateful expression. "I've had an awful time trying to get that thing up. Not an easy job at the moment," she gestured to her injured arm kept immobile in a sling.

He smiled. "My pleasure. I'm happy to help."

The bucket continued to ascend. She flexed her fingers and inspected her hand.

"Is something wrong?" he asked.

"Oh, no," Her hand dropped to her side, "I just got a bit of a rope burn. Nothing serious."

The rope slack coiled at her feet. He was nearly finished. Thanks to him, she'd be able to make lunch. "You came along just when I was about to give up," she said, lips parting into a grateful smile once more. "Normally my son would do this for me, but he's helping a neighbor this morning."

He nodded, and set the water-laden pail on the lip of the well. He pointed at the empty canister beside her, "Do you want me to pour the water into this?"

"Yes, please."

He poured and she stared. He had such unusual features. Red hair, violet eyes, a cheerful face marred with a scar... and he carried a sword. Swords were outlawed. The only people who carried swords were armed police or criminals.

He didn't look or act like a criminal... and he seemed too slight of build to be a police officer...

"Where would you like me to carry this?"

Thoughts interrupted, she blinked and felt foolish for staring.

"Umm... my house is that way," she pointed toward a worn patch of grass heading down a small knoll.

He lifted the container and together they made their way toward her home. His sincerity and kindness only fueled her curiosity about the sword. Unable to resist any longer, she asked, "Are you an armed police officer?"

"No."

She gave him a queer look and he didn't volunteer any additional information.

_'If he's not an officer, then why would he be so bold and carry a sword around in public..?'_

A new possibility entered her mind, "You're on a journey then?"

Dimples appeared as he smiled. "I've carried a sword for most of my life," he said. "It would feel strange to be without it."

Cheeks blushed deeply when she realized how rude she was being. Who was she to ask such meddling questions of a man who had been kind enough to help her?

"I didn't mean to pry."

"That's alright," he adjusted his hold on the container. "People don't normally carry swords anymore. I understand your curiosity."

She nodded and said nothing more. Her own faux pas keeping her lips sealed.

"But to answer your question," he said, ignoring her folly. "I am just passing through. I'm on my way to visit a friend in Tokyo."

"By foot?"

He nodded.

"But Tokyo is at least a four-day journey on horse..."

"Five," he corrected. "If you properly rest the horse."

She smirked, "You do this a lot, don't you?"

"I was a rurouni for ten years," he said.

His admission brought a whole new set of questions to the surface of her mind. Not wanting to be a snoop again, she kept those queries to herself.

"Well, no matter how you get there, you're in for a long trip," she said, as they passed the small herb garden in front of her home. Seedlings were just beginning to push their way out of the soil and into the spring sunshine.

"You can put the jug there," she pointed to a spot near the door.

He carefully lowered the container, then straightened his gi.

"Thank you for all your help, mister...?"

"Himura Kenshin."

"I'm Sato Noriko," she offered a polite bow. "Thank you for your help, Himura-san."

Kenshin bowed in return.

"My son should be on his way home now," Noriko said. "I wanted to have lunch ready for him when he got back. You're welcome to stay and have a hot meal, if you like."

"I don't want to be any trouble."

"It's no trouble," she smiled. "You already did the hard part. Besides, you need to eat well when you travel long distances."

He hesitated.

"Really," she reassured him. "It's no trouble at all."

His eyes twinkled with a grateful smile. "Thank you, I appreciate it."

• • •

The tea had long gone cold, but Kaoru hardly noticed. Observing Enishi practice was more entrancing now than it had been when he kept her on the island. Back then, she had regarded him with a sliver of fear. Every slash of his sword as he moved through his kata was a potential death blow for Kenshin. Now that Enishi had given up his jinchuu, she could let herself enjoy his grace.

It was a guilty pleasure she did her best to hide.

Enishi's preferred time to practice was in the early morning hours. Wanting to sneak a peek at him during those moments, Kaoru made an effort to wake early and gaze at her house guest without disturbing him. Fortune smiled upon her that morning and kept her student in a peaceful sleep even after she rose and left her room.

Watching Enishi move through his routine quietly and unaware was a nice way to start her day. More so without Yahiko's incessant presence.

A smile lifted Kaoru's features as she contemplated her guest. Enishi was changing. His anger was receding, his heart was mending... Since inviting him to stay in her home, he seemed much more open and relaxed. He actually had conversations with her, something he _never_ did when she was his captive. Of course, those conversations were always overshadowed by her young escort, but the attempt to garner her friendship was there.

After weeks of feeling rejected by Kenshin, the attention Enishi paid her felt good. _Really_ good. His mindfulness toward her was exactly what she craved from the rurouni. His focus centered on her, his smiles were for her... Kaoru felt attractive around Enishi. Wanted. And there was no denying the fact that he was a good-looking man. Tall, muscular, wild hair, mischievous eyes...

_'Stop that, Kaoru...'_ she chastised herself. Just thinking about his attributes quickened her heart and cast her cheeks in a ruddy hue. Physical attraction was all well and good, but it couldn't go any further than that. She had to be his friend.

Nothing more.

"What are you doing out here?" Yahiko asked from behind, giving Kaoru a sudden start.

"Don't sneak up on me like that!"

"I wasn't sneaking" he gave her a hard stare. "You were just too busy drooling to notice me."

Cheeks darkened. "I wasn't _drooling._"

"Right," the boy snorted and rolled his eyes. "How long are you planning to moon over him? I'm hungry."

"Tough," Kaoru said and turned away from him. "Fix your own breakfast."

She felt Yahiko's scowl, but ignored him. He swore under his breath, then plopped down next to her. Arms crossed over his chest, he glared daggers at their white-haired guest.

• • •

The gate bell rang loudly, disturbing the mid-morning quiet. Enishi paused in his exercise routine to watch Kaoru answer the summoning. The way his eyes lingered on his sensei gave Yahiko the creeps. He was still an obsessive freak, except instead of Kenshin, he was intent on Kaoru.

The sound of Tae's voice pulled Yahiko's attention away from his nemesis. Guilt turned his stomach over as he watched the two women talk. Without being able to hear their words he still knew what they were saying. The sidelong glance Kaoru threw in his direction was all he needed to see.

Rising to his feet, Yahiko approached the women. He hadn't shown up for work since Enishi arrived nearly three weeks ago. It was well past time to fess up to the boogie.

"Hi, Tae," he said, rubbing the back of his head.

"Good morning, Yahiko." She smiled, her kindness making the guilt all the more poisonous.

Before he could offer any kind of excuse or apology, Kaoru began her lecture.

"Yahiko, you told me Tae didn't need your help. You said she was okay with you taking time off."

"Kaoru," Tae said, "he did have Tsubume explain the situation to me..."

"He should have told you himself!" Hands on her hips, she added, "Besides, the _'situation'_ doesn't require him to ignore his responsibilities."

"I didn't _ignore_ my responsibilities," Yahiko said defensively.

"Yes you did!" Kaoru argued, "How can you deny it?!"

"Kaoru, I'm not angry at Yahiko," Tae said, trying to smooth things over. Buso didn't even spare her a glance.

"Tae hired you to do a job. You decided to stop doing that job and left poor Tae without the help she needs." Kaoru narrowed her eyes, "If that's not ignoring your responsibilities then what is?"

Hands clenched tightly at this sides, Yahiko snapped. "I wouldn't have _had_ to skip out on work if you weren't totally insane!"

Student and sensei exchanged tight-lipped glares. Tae fidgeted with the hem of her sleeve.

"Yahiko," the restaurant owner said almost timidly. "Let me know when you're able to work again and I'll see if I can find a place for you at the restaurant."

He didn't look at her. "Thanks."

Tae inched her way toward the gate. "I'll... let myself out."

"Thank you for coming by, Tae," Kaoru said, breaking the unblinking stare first. "I'm sorry you had to go to all this trouble on Yahiko's account."

The boy grunted and folded his arms over his over his chest. Tae smiled politely and nodded, then quickly let herself out. With their unexpected visitor gone, the arguing began anew.

"You lied to me, Yahiko!"

"I didn't lie—"

"Yes, you did!"

"I didn't lie!" Yahiko squared his shoulders and muttered, "I just didn't tell you the whole truth."

Kaoru threw her hands up in the air and began to walk away. Five steps away from him, she turned around. "I can't believe you! You ditch your responsibilities and then make Tae have to come all the way out here to tell you that you're fired."

Lips pressed into a tight line, Yahiko said nothing.

"Well, I'm not going to get myself all dirty. _You're_ going to have to go in the crawl space and get my grandfather's storage chest yourself," Kaoru said.

The topic switch drew Yahiko's brows together. "Huh? Why?"

"I don't have a _job,_ Yahiko. Neither do _you,_" she turned on her heel and headed for the dojo. When Yahiko didn't follow her, she paused and further clarified her order. "I have to sell my grandfather's paintings so we can eat. Get it?"

Yahiko saw the spark of distress in his sensei's eyes when she said those words. It was obvious that she didn't want to sell her grandfather's paintings. He never thought anything of it before, but she was selling part of her inheritance. Was money really that tight? Yahiko chewed his lip and remembered Kaoru going into town just before Enishi showed up to sell two paintings and a few kimonos.

_'Why didn't she tell me things were bad?'_

He saw Enishi move toward Kaoru, _'He's probably the reason why we're broke. Kick him out, Kaoru...' _

"I have money," the voice of the devil said. Yahiko narrowed his eyes and knew no good could come from such a statement. "I don't mind giving you a loan."

Yahiko's stomach twisted.

His sensei took a deep breath and relaxed her shoulders. The action was a clear sign that she was trying to calm her temper. "I can't let you do that," she said, anger still creating a slight edge to her voice. "I appreciate the offer, but it wouldn't be right."

_'Good. Now kick him out on his ass!_'

"Okay," he said, sword resting against his shoulder. "How about I pay for my room and board? It wouldn't be a loan then."

"Thank you," she said politely. "But that's really not necessary."

"I insist."

The fake kindness in his tone made Yahiko want to scream. The guy was psycho. How Kaoru could go for so long without seeing it was beyond him. She kept insisting that Enishi wasn't a bad person. He was just very deeply lonely. He spent so much time concentrating on killing Kenshin that he forgot what it was like to just simply live.

Well, boo-hoo.

Granted, the guy had yet to do anything to reveal his psychotic nature. And he'd been watching the freak pretty closely. The worst the bastard did was goad him. On occasion, he even goaded Kaoru... but she would return the gesture good-naturedly whereas Yahiko just wanted to shove his shinai down his throat.

It was exasperating to see Kaoru behave so amiable around him. The more he watched them interact, the more he suspected Sano knew what he was talking about back on the island.

Enishi tapped the blade against his shoulder and winked at his sensei. "How much do you charge a month for rent, Ms. Kamiya?"

Buso blushed and acted coy. She used to behave like that around Kenshin. It was disgusting.

'_Oh, I think I'm going to puke..._'

Kaoru twiddled her fingers along the hem of her obi.

_'She's seriously considering taking his money!'_

"I don't know," she said. "I've never charged anyone rent before..."

"How about 5,000 yen a month?"

She balked. "That seems a little high!"

"For room and board? In Tokyo?" He smiled, "I don't think so."

"Enishi, you're a guest... I can't take your money. It wouldn't be right."

"I can't live off of you, Kamiya," he countered. "You invited me to stay here, let me earn my keep."

Yahiko felt a gag reflex coming on. No good could come from this. If Enishi started to pay rent, Buso would begin to become dependent on him for money. Just like his mother did with the yakuza.

_'If I go back to the Akabeko, then Enishi will be with Kaoru alone all day...'_

He swallowed hard and stared at the gate.

_'But if she starts taking money from him, he'll have even _more_ reason to stay...'_

"Alright," Kaoru said, a smile playing about her lips. "5,000 yen a month. Room and board."

The corners of Enishi's lips lifted. "Agreed."

His decision made for him, Yahiko took off after Tae without a word.

• • •

He hadn't held a bokken since he was a boy. It felt strange to have such an oddly familiar weight in his hand after years training with a sword. The way Kamiya was able to fight with the weapon gave him a new sense of respect for her skills. In spite of the disadvantage of using a wooden sword against a metal one, she was able to not only defend herself, but _win._ An impressive feat.

Kamiya wiped excess sweat from her brow and tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "Ready for another round?"

Smugness dominated Enishi's visage as he performed a chiburi. The gesture was done as a tease and Kamiya rolled her eyes, trying not to show her amusement.

"Am I supposed to take that as a yes?" she asked.

Eyes bright and bokken raised, the woman was clearly ready for another exchange. Her eagerness to challenge him and give him everything she had was a trait he found extremely attractive. The suggestion to spar with her had just been an excuse to get close to her. He didn't expect the routine to be as stimulating as it was. Nor as fun.

A wink, followed by a quick thrust toward her shoulder was the only response she received. She flowed into a parry, then countered. Bokken moving in a well-practiced arc, Kamiya forced Enishi to take a step backwards and move into a defensive stance.

Her strikes were very well controlled and precise. She moved with a natural grace most swordsmen struggled for years to acquire. Her ability to pivot smoothly was a benefit derived from her gender. Her center of gravity was different. If used effectively, that natural lissomeness could be used to her advantage in certain situations. She just needed to be reminded of that fact.

"There," Enishi said, causing an immediate pause in their exchange.

Kamiya froze in place and waited.

"All of your weight is on your left foot," he explained. "You're expecting me to defend against your counter by moving to the side, correct?"

"I... well... yes," Kamiya reluctantly said.

"If I choose to lower my stance instead," Enishi squatted down to illustrate his point, "and strike here," he tapped her thigh with his bokken, "you'd have one less limb."

He saw the gears turning in her mind as she processed the information. Anticipating the reaction of an enemy was always a risky venture. If Kamiya insisted on using non-lethal means to defend herself, she had to be aware of every potential flaw. Even if learning about it was a blow to her pride.

"The technique isn't wrong," he straightened and rested the bokken against his shoulder. "It's very effective, actually. The problem is, _I_ can see it."

• • •

Kaoru frowned, _'Yeah, but you're not like most swordsmen, Enishi...'_

"You basically did the same thing when you sparred with the brat," he added.

"I see," she pushed her bangs out of her eyes and sighed. "So I need to improve my reaction time."

"Mmm... well, that would improve your ability overall," he agreed. "But it wouldn't necessarily solve this particular problem."

A shiver of frustration worked up her spine. She performed that move exactly as she'd been trained, but it didn't matter. Enishi exposed a weakness that suddenly made her feel like a trainee again.

"Then what _would_ solve the problem?"

"Keep your weight evenly distributed," he said, standing close enough to distract. "Use your hips more when you turn."

Her technique replayed in her mind. "But I _do_ use my hips when I move," she said.

Enishi slowly circled around her. Brows furled, Kaoru questioned his behavior.

"What are you doing?"

He stood directly behind her, his chest brushing against her back. She froze and he covered her hands with his. Then she felt his cheek brush against her ear.

"I'm going to _show_ you," he said.

Goose bumps instantly rose on her flesh as she let him guide her.

"You turned like this, correct?"

She swallowed in a futile attempt to battle a suddenly dry mouth. "Y-yes..."

"Where is your weight?"

Heart pounding, she automatically glanced down.

"Never look at your feet," he chided softly. "That's the first rule of kendo."

Chin snapped up and she grit her teeth. '_Get a hold of yourself, girl!_'

"I _know_ that," she said.

She heard his lips part into a smirk. The sound made her want to turn her face toward him, but she resisted. Doing so would bring her cheek against his.

His voice teased her nerves, "You feel it, don't you?"

Kaoru tensed, breath caught in her throat.

"Where is your center of gravity?"

His nearness was becoming overwhelming. She couldn't concentrate on what he was trying to show her. She couldn't concentrate enough to even talk. All she could do was _feel,_ and his being was all she felt.

"I—" Voice caught, breath shaky. The proximity was too much. Not knowing what else to do, she stepped out of his arms, thus ending their lesson prematurely.

"I..." she glanced at the exit. "I should go..."

"We're not done."

Already blushing cheeks burned brighter. "Yes, well..." Her lips quivered into a flustered smile, "I have... something to do."

He raised a doubtful brow and Kaoru cursed inwardly. Fingers fidgeting, she opened her mouth to make another flimsy excuse when Enishi spoke up.

"Another time then," he said, an enigmatic smile curling the corners of his mouth.

She didn't like his expression, but she would take his words as an opportunity to escape. Offering an embarrassed, red-faced smile, she exited the dojo as quickly as she could.


	17. chapter sixteen :: relations

**Catharsis**

**relations  
**.:chapter sixteen:.

* * *

Tsubame's fingers lingered on the teacup as she worked up the courage to speak her mind. "Well," she began, giving Yahiko a shy glance. "Maybe... he really... _likes_ her..."

Her suggestion made him choke. "Hell" _cough_ "no!!"

The young waitress flinched at his outburst and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. A blush brightened her features when she noticed some of the customers looking at their table. The daily lunch-time frenzy was over and Yahiko's shift was at an end. As was his habit, he capitalized on the lull to partake in some of the leftovers before returning home. It was a fringe benefit of being busboy.

"Tsubame," Yahiko said, rubbing his chin with the back of his hand. "You don't know him like I do. He's an obsessive-psycho-freak. He doesn't _like_ her. He's just using her."

"Yes, but... you said that Kaoru trusts him," Tsubame said quietly. "He can't be that bad."

Yahiko rolled his eyes.

"You said he was helping her out around the dojo, paying rent—"

"He's only doing that so Buso becomes dependant on him."

Tsubame frowned and eyed her teacup.

"You think I'm wrong," Yahiko said.

She glanced at him and shifted in her seat.

"You do, don't you?"

"...No, I—"

"Yes, you do," he insisted.

Tsubame bit her lip. "I just... well... don't you think Kaoru knows what she's doing?"

Yahiko snorted.

"I mean," she rotated the teacup with her fingers and watched the liquid swirl. "What if she's right about him? What if he _is_ trying to change?"

"He isn't. He's just conning her."

Tsubame reflected for a moment as Yahiko ate.

"I don't know..." she said slowly. "Maybe he's being sincere."

Yahiko gave her a doubtful look.

"It's possible, isn't it?" she continued. "Kenshin changed, didn't he..?"

"I don't think Kenshin was ever psychotic," came the grumbled reply.

Both fell silent as the sounds of the restaurant lapped against them. Yahiko grumpily chewed his food as Tsubame stared into space.

"What's he doing that's so bad?" she asked quietly after a long moment.

"Nothing... _yet_." He shoved some rice in his mouth and spoke around his food, "What's with you women and your sympathy anyway? Just because he hasn't done anything yet doesn't mean he won't. He can't be trusted."

"He let her go," Tsubame said. "He didn't hurt her..."

"No," Yahiko glared, voice low. "He only made everyone believe he _killed_ her so he could use her as bait for Kenshin."

She recoiled at the tone of his voice, "I-I'm sorry."

Her defeated countenance to his scold sent a pang of regret through his belly. He hadn't meant to sound so harsh.

"Look, Tsubame," he said, trying to reassure her. "You don't see him all the time like I do. He gives me the creeps. He's always around her and stuff. It's like he's stalking her or something. Every time I turn around he's either talkin' to her or lookin' at her."

Tsubame offered a sympathetic smile, "It's okay, I understand. You're just worried about Kaoru."

He scoffed. "I wouldn't need to worry about her if she didn't act all weird and cutesy around him and stuff."

"Cutesy?"

"Yeah, cutesy!" Yahiko batted his eyes and clasped his hands together. "Oh, Enishi!" he mimicked Kaoru's voice using a sickeningly sweet tone, "Thanks so much for all your help!" He batted his eyes once more for good measure before letting his expression dissolve into disgust.

His impromptu dramatization made Tsubame giggle. Her amusement lifted Yahiko's lips into a smile and he laughed with her.

When the levity faded, Tsubame asked, "You don't think... she has a crush on him do you?"

"A crush—?"

"Tsubame," a voice called from the kitchen. "I need you in here!"

The girl quickly rose from her seat. "Yes, ma'am!" she called back. Quickly tightening her apron and smoothing her hair, she smiled at Yahiko.

"I have to get back to work," she said. "I'll see you tomorrow."

A nod. "Yeah. See you tomorrow."

Alone at the table, Yahiko quickly finished his meal and tried not to think of what Tsubame said. Sure Sano accused her of having a thing for the freak, but Yahiko didn't really believe it. He didn't _want_ to believe it. It was just... wrong. On every level.

But if Tsubame suspected it, how could he continue to deny it?

It was one thing for Kaoru to want to help the psycho-freak-bastard and something entirely disturbing and wrong for her to have a real honest-to-goodness '_crush_' on him. How was he supposed to drive the jerk away now?

"Yahiko?"

The boy jumped at the sound of his name.

Tae smiled, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you."

"That's okay." He sat up a little straighter, "Do you need something?"

"No, I just wanted to give you this," she held up a large take-out box. "The cook made one too many portions and I don't want to throw out good food. I thought Kaoru would like some. Could you take it to her, please?"

"Sure." Yahiko took the box from her hands, "Thanks."

"Tell her I said 'hello,'" Tae said with a grin before returning to her duties.

Yahiko left the restaurant in a funk. His annoyance with Enishi had been immediately replaced with a sense of dread regarding Kaoru.

_'What am I supposed to do now?'_

Peering inward, Yahiko made his way down the street on automatic. Horse-drawn carriages prevented him from crossing where he wanted, so he cut a corner and made a bee-line toward the road he needed to get to the bridge. Half-way across the street he caught a familiar figure out of the corner of his eye. He turned to get a better look, but a group of women chit-chatting blocked his view.

Then the figure stepped into his direct line of sight once more and Yahiko nearly dropped the warm box of food.

"K-kenshin!?"

• • •

It had only been a few months, but Kenshin was certain Yahiko had grown. He smiled warmly when he saw the boy hurrying toward him. Kenshin barely got out a word of greeting before Yahiko overwhelmed him with demands. Hands gesticulating wildly and words tumbling out of his mouth at an unintelligible rate, the rurouni was forced to cut in.

"Calm down, Yahiko," Kenshin said. "Where is Kaoru-dono again?"

"Not where, _who!_"

"Oro?"

"Weren'tyou_listening_tome!?"

"Yahiko, you're talking so fast I can barely understand you—"

"Enishiisstayingatthedojo!!"

Kenshin's heart skipped a beat.

_'Enishi..?!'_

Kenshin frowned. There had to be a mistake. Perhaps he misunderstood the boy. Certainly Yahiko didn't say what he thought he said.

"Come on," Yahiko grabbed the rurouni by the wrist and started pulling him down the street. "Let's go!"

"Wait," the rurouni pulled back on the boy, forcing him to stop. "What did you say?"

He huffed, "I said, Enishi is _ staying_ at the dojo!"

Dread twisted Kenshin's stomach into knots. Enishi's grudge was against him, not Kaoru. A major reason why he left was in order to protect her and Yahiko from those seeking revenge against him.

The boy tugged on his sleeve, "Come _on__!_"

Kenshin resisted Yahiko's urgings. If Enishi still wanted revenge then more information was needed. Especially if Kaoru's life was in danger.

"Yahiko," Kenshin said in an authoritative voice. "Explain to me what's going on. Tell me everything."

The boy blinked at the rurouni's suddenly bossy, almost militant, tone.

"And don't rush," he added.

Yahiko glared. "I already _told_ you," he said evenly. "Enishi is _staying_ at the dojo."

Kenshin waited for more, but the boy didn't offer up any additional information.

"Continue," Kenshin prompted.

"Continue!?" Yahiko snapped, "What do you mean, 'continue'?! Isn't that enough?"

"What is the situation?" Kenshin asked, clarifying his point. "Why is Enishi at the dojo? Is he alone?"

The boy regained some of his composure when he realized what Kenshin wanted. Taking a deep breath, he started again. "Yeah, he's alone. And I don't know why he came, but he's been there for weeks."

Kenshin narrowed his eyes, "Has he hurt anyone?"

"No..."

Relief washed over him, but Kenshin maintained his insistent demeanor. "Has he made any threats?"

"No..."

Kenshin's brows creased. Something wasn't adding up right. "And he never said why he came?"

"No..."

"Yahiko, what is it you're not telling me?"

The boy clenched his jaw. "I told you everything! Why are you just standing there?!" Kenshin opened his mouth to say something, but Yahiko cut him off, "Are you going to help me get rid of him or not?!"

The rurouni studied Yahiko for several seconds. Kenshin's calm exterior and refusal to answer only aggravated the boy more. It was clear he expected Kenshin to rush into action, but nothing Yahiko said made sense. If Kaoru was in danger, why didn't he come right out and say it? It would be easier to pull teeth out of Saitou's head than it was trying to get information out of Yahiko.

"Did Kaoru-dono tell him to leave?" Kenshin asked at last.

The change in the boy's expression was answer enough. His words only confirmed the obvious.

"Look, the guy is psycho!" Yahiko pointed in the direction of the dojo, "I can't make him go, so _you_ have to get rid of him."

Kenshin pressed his lips into a fine line, "You didn't answer my question."

Jaw clenched and eyes bright with anger, Yahiko blinked back tears of frustration.

"Yahiko—"

"Just forget it!" He turned on his heel and began to walk away.

Kenshin collared him back, "Enishi hasn't done anything to hurt you or Kaoru-dono, correct?"

"Let me go," the boy pulled against him.

"YAHIKO!"

The boy froze in his struggles. Kenshin was through with playing games.

"Has he hurt _you_ or _Kaoru-dono?!_"

Yahiko gazed up at the man he once wanted to emulate with a look of submission, "N-no..."

Sighing, Kenshin closed his eyes and bowed his head, "But you feel he is a threat?"

"...Yes."

"Very well," Kenshin released the boy and gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "If you feel he is a threat then I will trust your judgment."

• • •

The walk back to the dojo was done in silence. Kenshin used the time to prepare himself for the possible battle that lay ahead. If Enishi had come to the dojo so he could complete his jinchuu, there was little chance that he could avoid a fight. If Kenshin had to fight, he would fight. However, the first order of business was to reassure himself that Kaoru and Yahiko weren't in any danger. Everything else was secondary.

The air felt bittersweet as he approached the gates to the Kamiya property. In a way, he felt like he was coming home. But it _wasn't_ his home, it belonged to Kaoru. He chose to leave it behind when he decided to become rurouni again. Nagging regrets were quickly consumed by guilt. The dishonor he felt because he abandoned Kaoru for Rakinumura when she needed him the most would be with him always. Just as the grief he felt for Tomoe would be with him, always.

Kenshin felt the antagonism the moment the gate closed behind them. Sure enough, his brother-in-law stood near the entrance of the dojo. Back ramrod straight, Enishi's eyes were narrowed into thin slits as he regarded him.

Time seemed to stop as the two men stared at each other. Only a scant few yards separated them, but they may as well have been standing on two different planets. The aura the younger man emanated would have unnerved most men, but the rurouni stood his ground.

Kenshin was _ not_ welcome. He understood the sentiment as clearly as he felt the earth underfoot.

"Enishi?" Kaoru called from inside the dojo.

The sound of her voice only seemed to aggravate the situation further. Enishi's shoulders bunched and his hand curled into a tight fist. It was a warning meant to intimidate. The battousai in him yearned to wrap his fingers around the hilt of his sakabatou, but the rurouni remained stock-still. Enishi had yet to indicate any intention of _ wanting_ to fight. All Kenshin could sense from the man was a deep animosity, not murderous intent.

Besides, Enishi was unarmed.

"Hey," Kaoru called again. "Are you out there?"

Footsteps moved toward the entrance of the dojo. Enishi spared a quick glance over his shoulder, then turned his attention back to the rurouni.

"Enishi?" Kaoru finally stepped into view. Hands on her hips and head tilted to the side, she gave the illusion of being annoyed. The expression would have worked had her lips not given her away. She was smirking almost playfully. "What are you doing—"

• • •

Her voice caught when she saw him. The sudden stillness was heavy with tension. Enishi could feel her staring at him, eyes wide, mouth agape. He didn't need to look at her to know how she was reacting. He could feel it like a cold wind that cut through his flesh.

Jealousy ground his teeth together and set his nerves on fire.

"Kenshin!"

The pleased tone of her voice made his jaw muscle jump angrily.

"Hello, Kaoru-dono."

The silence that followed was the worst. Enishi didn't dare take his eyes away from Battousai, no matter how much he wanted to see the look on Kamiya's face. Instead he watched his nemesis for an indication to her reaction. When his lips parted into a kind smile, Enishi wanted to knock out his teeth with his fist.

"You look well," she said, voice terribly polite.

"As do you."

The camaraderie between them, though reserved, was irritating to listen to.

"I didn't hear you arrive," she said. "Have you been here long?"

"No, I just got here." Battousai regarded his brother-in-law, "I haven't even had a chance to say hello to Enishi."

Jaw tight and muscles tense, he pushed down the urge to strike the redheaded bastard.

"There's no need for such polite sentiments between the two of us," Enishi said, voice cold. "Is there?"

Battousai held his gaze, "No, perhaps not."

Movement sounded behind him. Kamiya was leaving her perch, most likely to go to her rurouni. The thought of her going to him threatened to topple Enishi's control. This meeting was not turning out the way he anticipated. The goal to kill Battousai in Kamiya's heart had yet to come into fruition. The murderous bastard had returned far too soon. Kamiya still resisted Enishi's flirtatious coaxing and attempts at seduction. She was warming up to him, but Battousai's presence would undermine that.

_'She's mine.' _A tremor moved up his spine. _'Battousai left her. He belongs to nee-san... he can't have both..!' _

Just when the jealousy and anger threatened to boil over, he felt the sleeve of her kimono brush against his arm. The contact caused his emotions to stutter. Her knuckles grazed his with a delicate, but intentional touch.

"Yahiko," she said, still standing beside Enishi. "Go get changed and warmed up for today's lesson."

The boy stared, mouth opening and closing silently.

"Go on," she insisted, gesturing with her hand. "I'll join you as soon as I can... but you may have to do some exercises without me."

Stubbornness kept the boy in place a moment longer, then he grudgingly turned away and headed for the house. Enishi felt her shift beside him, but still she remained. Her presence was instantly soothing. Taking a deep breath, he tried to soak in the halcyon her nearness gave him. He needed to control his emotions if he was to continue this meeting without shedding Battousai's blood.

Voice pitched for his ears alone, Kamiya asked, "Do you still want jinchuu, Enishi?"

"If I did," Enishi whispered back, his eyes still focused on Battousai. "Would you try to stop me?"

She turned her face to look at him fully.

"You know I would," was her susurrus response.

Enishi resisted the urge to meet Kamiya's gaze. The expression Battousai wore was too interesting to dismiss. Thinly veiled puzzlement and suspicion reflected in his watchful eyes. Enishi doubted the former hitokiri could hear their conversation, but the fact that they were whispering to each other seemed to disturb him.

Suddenly the tables felt turned. Kamiya was speaking to _him,_ in a gentle tone meant for privacy. And she was the one who initiated the conversation. The interaction was testimony to how the situation had changed. Battousai didn't have her like he used to. Not anymore.

Still, doubt lingered. He had to know. Was she asking about jinchuu out of worry for Battousai? Or something else..?

Turning his attention away from Battousai, Enishi gazed into Kamiya's eyes. Then he leaned his face toward hers. To the casual observer, it appeared he was moving toward her for a kiss. Even Kamiya's eyes widened a fraction.

"Why would you try to stop me?" he asked sotto voce, his nose nearly touching hers. "Do you still love Battousai?"

She swallowed nervously, "I—"

"Excuse me, Kaoru-dono," Battousai interrupted, his tone friendly but entwined with impatience. Enishi glared at him for disrupting their private conversation, but the bastard didn't seem to notice. Instead he maintained a visage of calm. "We should talk, don't you think?"

• • •

Kaoru didn't seem afraid of him at all. She stood beside him as though it was the most natural thing in the world. Regardless of the fact that Enishi kidnapped her and held her against her will. It was clear that she trusted him. There was a bond, a _friendship_, that linked the two.

And when she spoke to him... so comfortable and relaxed. If Kenshin hadn't seen the exchange with his own eyes, he wouldn't have believed it.

Even more curious was the way Enishi was affected by _her_. The instant she stood by his side his entire body seemed to relax. The rage he projected still remained, but it felt controlled. It was at that moment that Kenshin knew for certain that he wouldn't have to fight his brother-in-law. Kaoru's presence beside him made a difference like night and day.

Still, the closeness between them... the intimacy...

Kenshin didn't know what to think of it, but his gut reaction was disturbed shock.

To ease his mind about Kaoru's safety, Kenshin asked her to take a walk with him. Alone. She agreed with a smile, but Enishi clearly didn't want to let her go. The anxiety between them suddenly doubled, but Kaoru reined it in with a few words and a meaningful look. After several strained moments, Enishi gave the rurouni a dark glare before striding away and into the dojo.

"Let's walk by the river," Kaoru suggested.

Kenshin agreed. As they made their way toward the front gate, it didn't escape Kenshin's notice that Enishi had moved to sit on the steps leading into the dojo. His wrapped sword by his side.

The wildflowers that grew along the edge of the water were just entering the peak of their blooming season. A duck fed close to shore as his mate sunbathed in the grass.

Their conversation began with Kaoru asking questions about Kenshin's travels. He told her a little about what he saw and where he went, but it wasn't the topic he wanted to discuss. After a few minutes of silence, Kaoru addressed the subject both knew needed to be explained.

"He didn't come here looking for you," she said. "Jinchuu is over. He told me so himself."

Kenshin watched the duck waddle into the water and swim to her mate. If Enishi didn't come to the dojo looking for him, then he must have come for Kaoru specifically.

_'Did he tell her that..?'_ Kenshin wondered.

"I'm glad to hear that he's given up his jinchuu," he said. "But did he tell you why he came Tokyo?"

"No, not really." Kaoru plucked a red-petalled wildflower and twirled it between her thumb and forefinger, "But I think he came because I'm the closest thing he has to a friend." She paused and considered, "You know, I invited him to come back to Tokyo with me when he let me leave the island. I was afraid he would return to Shanghai."

_'Afraid..?' _Kenshin studied her profile. _'You care about him that much..?'_

"Did he?" he asked.

"No," Kaoru said. "He said he stayed on the island until he left to go to Kyoto. Then he came here."

Kenshin glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. The way she spoke seemed to indicate that she underestimated her importance. Didn't she see how she influenced him?

"Yahiko wants me to force him to leave."

"Yahiko thinks he still wants revenge," she sighed and tossed her flower into the river. "He doesn't think Enishi is capable of change."

The rurouni paused, forcing Kaoru to stop. He scrutinized her intently, his expression leaving no doubt as to the seriousness of his next question.

"You trust him, don't you?"

She didn't flinch under his piercing gaze. Nor did she hesitate in her answer.

"If I didn't trust him, I wouldn't try to help him."

* * *

**AN:** People have asked if Sano is going to come back. While this fic certainly qualifies as an AU because I changed a major event in the RK universe, I'd like to reiterate that I am using the manga storyline as cannon. Meaning: Megumi went to Aizu in my fic because she really does go there (according to the manga). And Sano really did leave Japan and eventually go to America in my fic because he really does go there (according to the manga).

So, to put it bluntly: No, Sano will not be making a reappearance. The reason is because he didn't make a reappearance at the very end of the RK manga (save for a quick flashback brought about by a letter he wrote to Kaoru and Kenshin). Sorry to disappoint you guys, but thems the breaks! :p

...though the tension between Sano and Enishi _would_ probably be fun to write...


	18. chapter seventeen :: epiphany

**Catharsis**

**epiphany  
**.:chapter seventeen:.

* * *

Prickles of disdain inflamed his nerves and kept his muscles from relaxing. Even stretched out on a futon and surrounded by darkness, Enishi could not find any comfort.

The electric tingles that prevented him from sleeping were identical to the sensations that once kept him awake as a youth. Since coming back into Kamiya's life, Enishi had enjoyed the normalcy of being able to sleep fitfully through the night. Such a simple activity for most people was a luxury to him. However, with Battousai alive and under the same roof as him, the electric tingles returned.

He didn't like the sensation. It didn't matter that the side-effects bequeathed him superior speed and power. He still hated it. Too many bad memories of nights filled with enmity and sorrow were dredged up as his muscles and nerves hardened and relaxed, and hardened again.

Rubbing his nose and sighing, Enishi rolled over onto his side. He was tired of staring at the ceiling, so instead he focused on the wall. It irked him that he had underestimated the effect that seeing Battousai would have on him. Confronting the bastard before taking Kamiya to the island had been entirely different. Back then, Enishi was the one in control. He picked the place and time of the confrontation. He manipulated the situation with the right words and carefully planned actions. In every meeting, Enishi had an outcome he sought to achieve and he was successful. Without fail.

Now it felt as though Battousai was the one in control... and that was simply unacceptable. Especially when one took into consideration Battousai's "reformed" character. The rurouni would never purposefully seek to manipulate him. He simply wasn't like that. To do such a thing would be far too nefarious. But knowing that didn't ease Enishi's annoyance. It only added to it.

A year ago, when Enishi felt confident that he knew what Tomoe wanted, he would have killed Battousai without a second thought. Now that he had read her diary, he knew his sister would never want him to kill her husband. More than that, Enishi couldn't do it because of Kamiya.

...But the temptation, the anger, the deep-seeded _ desire_ to take his sword and begin slashing...

All of it. Everything. It was still there. Enishi had dreamed and planned of ways to destroy his brother-in-law for over a decade. It was the sole reason he fought so hard to survive and grow strong. When he saw Battousai for the first time in nearly a year, his first thought was to retrieve his sword and cut him down, but he hesitated. Then he heard Kamiya's voice calling to him from inside the dojo and hot jealousy flooded his veins, overriding everything else.

Suddenly possessiveness was the heart of Enishi's grudge against the Battousai. Where once his resentment hinged on sins of the past, now they swayed to possibilities of the future... and Battousai was at the center of both. The emotion was nearly overwhelming when Kamiya and Battousai greeted each other. The child that still lived within Enishi was certain the bastard was there to take something important from his life, again.

Yet Kamiya moved to stand beside _him._ Her presence muddied Enishi's thoughts and halted his instincts. Fifteen years worth of hatred, rage, planning and blood-lust were soothed by the soft caress of the back of her hand against his.

There was no doubt in Enishi's mind that if Kamiya hadn't stood by his side, he would have acted on his homicidal urges. It was for her sake that he still fought those same urges. The temptation to rise and kill the source of his torture was nearly too strong to bear.

Battousai was sleeping two doors down from him. Not more than fifteen feet away. But to get to his door, Enishi would have to pass Kamiya's bedroom, and then proceed to murder Himura as he slept in the same room as the boy. To do that would confirm what Enishi always thought himself to be, and blamed Battousai for creating. That wasn't what he wanted. He was already a monster in his own eyes, but Kamiya didn't see him that way. And he didn't want to give her any reason to change her perception of him.

Understanding this, Enishi realized that Kamiya was more important to him than revenge. Killing Battousai in her heart and winning her affection as some sort of last ditch effort at jinchuu was trite in the grand scheme of things. She was more important to him than that.

Even so, the bastard still needed to be dealt with. Lines had to be drawn and stakes claimed. If that meant confronting Kamiya or Battousai with the true depth of his feelings before he was ready, so be it.

• • •

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Yahiko glanced to his left and confirmed what he already knew. The futon beside his was empty. That was no big surprise, the rurouni was always the first one up. Gauging the brightness outside, Kenshin had probably been up for a while. Yahiko scratched his head and yawned big. Maybe the rurouni kicked Enishi out while they slept, just to avoid Buso's inane protests. It was a pleasant idea, but Yahiko knew the likeliness of such a thing happening was as remote as the sun rising in the west.

Limbs stretched and fresh practice clothes worn, Yahiko stepped out of his room. Buso's door was still closed, but Enishi's hung slightly ajar. Curious, Yahiko peeked inside and saw the room empty, the futon neatly made and the room in perfect order... with Enishi's cloak hanging on the far wall.

Yahiko scowled. So much for wishful thinking.

With a sigh, he went in search of food. Halfway there he saw a sight he hadn't seen in months.

"Good morning, Yahiko," Kenshin smiled and greeted him like he used to every morning before Enishi thundered into their lives. It was almost surreal.

"'Morning," he mumbled, still battling his grogginess.

"Sleep well?" Kenshin asked as Yahiko headed toward the kitchen.

Yahiko grabbed an apple. "Fine," he called over his shoulder.

Glancing out the window, he noticed a blur of movement in the doorway of the dojo. Right away he knew it was Enishi, but couldn't tell if Kaoru was with him or not. On the days when Yahiko didn't have to cover the lunch-time shift and get to the restaurant early to prepare, Kaoru would train him in the mornings. Since Enishi arrived, she had adopted the annoying habit of using his morning lesson as an excuse to hang-out with the psycho without looking like a complete devotee.

The thought of her in there mooning over the psycho-freak made Yahiko's stomach churn. Kenshin had been back for nearly eleven hours and had yet to do anything useful. Wasn't he supposed to send the jerk on his merry way yesterday? While Kenshin sat on his ass and drank his tea, Enishi could be plotting to do God-knows-what. And now that Kenshin _was_ back, he had the perfect opportunity to rub Jinchuu into the rurouni's face.

_'Why am I the only one who sees this guy for what he is..?'_

Temper flared with righteous enlightenment and tongue heavy with demands, Yahiko approached the rurouni. Just in time to see Kaoru step into the room and ruin his opportunity.

"Good morning, Kenshin, Yahiko," she said, her smile not quite reaching her eyes. Dressed in her hakama with her hair pulled back in a high ponytail, it was clear she was ready to give the boy his daily lesson.

"Good morning, Kaoru-dono," Kenshin smiled.

Yahiko took a bite of his apple. Kaoru looked at him expectantly, obviously waiting for him to at least acknowledge her. He didn't. At least not verbally. Glaring, he took another bite and was satisfied to see her shoulders sag.

"Are you feeling well, Kaoru-dono?"

She smiled, and stood a little straighter, obviously trying to hide her moment of unguarded hurt. "I'm... fine, just tired." Before Kenshin could say anything else she asked, "Are you ready for your lesson, Yahiko?"

"_No_," Yahiko said with disdain. "I'm not done with my apple, Buso."

Kaoru eyed the thin core in his hand and knew he was lying. He made no attempt to hide it. In fact, the more obvious he was about his deceit, the more pissed she would become. Kaoru was predictable like that. That's what made picking a fight with her so easy. He knew all the right buttons to push. And over the last few days, he'd gotten a lot of practice doing just that.

Readying himself for the moment, Yahiko looked forward to the opportunity to vent. She deserved a good earful of him yelling. Just when he was ready to let loose the insults, she did the last thing he expected. Kaoru sighed deeply, haggardly, and let his outright lie drop to the wayside.

"Join me in the dojo when you're ready," she said, then headed for the door.

Yahiko barely waited until Kaoru left to ask Kenshin the question stewing inside. He silently hoped she heard the inquiry just to get one more dig in.

"Why is Enishi still here?"

Kenshin didn't immediately answer him, staring instead at the door she used to exit the room. His brows creased thoughtfully, then the corners of his lips turned down.

"Well?" Yahiko pressed.

The rurouni finally turned his eyes toward the boy. "Has Kaoru-dono been upset like that for a long time?" He asked.

"I don't know. This is the first time I've seen her act all mopey like that since Enishi got here," Yahiko tossed the remains of his breakfast in the trash.

Kenshin frowned.

"She was probably up all night worrying you were going to throw her charity case out on his ass," he continued. "Serves her right."

Yahiko kept his chin high as Kenshin studied his for several seconds. Arms crossed over his chest, he did his best Sano impression and tried to look as apathetic as possible.

"Your anger is misplaced," the rurouni said, finishing the last of his tea.

"What do you mean, 'misplaced?'"

"You're taking your anger out on Kaoru-dono," Kenshin clarified. "She doesn't deserve it."

"Bullshit," Yahiko narrowed his eyes. "She's been acting like a stubborn bitch."

"You don't mean that—"

"I do!" He insisted.

Kenshin sighed and tried a different track. "No, you don't, Yahiko," the rurouni said, voice calm and even. "You're just angry. You've been angry since Kaoru-dono was kidnapped."

Jaw set and shoulders square, Yahiko maintained his willful opposition.

"You're angry at Enishi, Kaoru-dono, myself..." Kenshin continued. "And more than that, you've been angry at yourself." A small, compassionate smile lifted his lips, "You're too young to be so bitter, Yahiko." He paused and studied the boy, "Your feelings toward myself and Enishi are understandable. I failed you and Kaoru-dono, and Enishi has done much to earn your distrust... but Kaoru-dono doesn't deserve your cruelty."

"Cruelty?" Yahiko snorted, "I'm not being cruel! I'm just telling the truth. She's the one who won't listen to me."

"I think she listens to you more than you realize. Kaoru-dono cares about you very much." Kenshin tilted his head and peered at the boy, "The truth is, you're hurting Kaoru-dono because you can't hurt Enishi. Isn't that right?"

While his body language tried to scream indifference, Yahiko had a difficult time maintaining eye contact with the rurouni. Jaw tightly clenched and heart pounding in his chest, he tried desperately not to show any weakness.

_'Kenshin's wrong,'_ Yahiko told himself. _'He doesn't know what's going on. He left! Kaoru's being duped!'_

Yahiko sucked in a deep, calming breath. Why was everyone fighting him on this? The whole situation was frustrating. All he wanted was for things to go back to normal and the sooner Enishi left, the sooner that could happen..

"When are you going to kick Enishi out?" Yahiko asked, promptly changing the subject to something he was more comfortable with. "He should be gone by now."

"I don't think the decision to 'kick him out' is ours to make."

The boy gave his former idol a tight-lipped glare.

"Kaoru-dono trusts him," Kenshin continued.

Yahiko rolled his eyes.

The rurouni ignored the boy's obvious annoyance with well practiced composure. "She says she's helping him. From what I've seen, that appears to be true. If anyone can help Enishi, it's Kaoru-dono. She can see the good in people. That is her gift."

Frustration reddened Yahiko's face and curled his hands into tight fists. It was like everyone forgot what happened. The sight of Kaoru's dead, disfigured face staring into nothingness with Enishi's tachi impaling her chest was forever burned into his mind. Even if the corpse _did_ turn out to be a doll, that was the kind of viciousness he was capable of. Enishi was a sadistic murderer. That was the truth.

Kaoru's 'gift' was flawed. Someone who would even think to do what Enishi did, and then go to the trouble of tricking everyone into believing it... there could be no good in such a person.

There just couldn't!

"So that's it?" Yahiko asked sarcastically. "The guy who we thought _murdered_ Kaoru is living under the same roof as her and you're okay with that?!"

"I'm not certain the same man who pretended to murder Kaoru-dono is living under the same roof as her," Kenshin said evenly. "But I plan to find that out."

• • •

Though her smile was sincere, it did nothing to hide her stress. She looked spent and lackluster. He didn't bother to comment about it because he knew instinctively what was wrong. Since going back to his job at the restaurant, the brat had been doubling his efforts to drive Enishi away. Almost as though to make up for the time spent at work. Enishi put up with it because he could empathize with the boy, but he was beginning to lose his patience. He would have to be blind to not see how Yahiko's constant badgering was exhausting Kamiya. Seeing the situation with adult eyes, Enishi couldn't help but wonder if he made Tomoe feel the same way when Akira asked her to marry him.

With Battousai's arrival, Enishi had no doubt that the weight on Kamiya's shoulders was much more pressing. She told him how bitter the boy had become when Battousai refused to leave Rakinumura. And how that bitterness seemed to worsen when Sagara took off and the lady doctor left to return to her hometown. It was obvious the reason she put up with the brat's constant harassment was because she felt guilty.

When the boy finally arrived for his lesson, Enishi left to confront the enemy. It was no surprise to see Battousai waiting for him. Enishi noticed right away that the rurouni did not have his sword by his side. The gesture was a clear indication that he didn't wish to fight. If Enishi had been a big believer in bushido, he would have placed his sword on his left as expected. But he only followed such archaic ideals when it suited him. Strictly following bushido almost guaranteed your death in a place like Shanghai.

Tachi within easy reach of his sword hand, Enishi sat. Neither said a word for several seconds as each regarded the other with an unflinching gaze.

"You returned much sooner than expected, Battousai." Enishi said, the corner of his mouth twisting upwards. "Are you on your way back to Rakinumura?"

Eyes steady, Himura didn't outwardly react from Enishi's barb. "Rakinumura is behind me. I'm here because I wanted to visit my friends."

"And you have done that," Enishi narrowed his eyes, all signs of benevolence erased. "When are you going to wander off and play hero with your sakabatou again?"

"Are you in a hurry for me to go?"

"The more I see you," Enishi said, lips twisting into a wicked grin, "the more I want to _kill_ you."

• • •

Kenshin expected an answer like that. The most intense emotions he sensed coming from Enishi were during the first few minutes of their meeting yesterday afternoon. After Kaoru-dono made her appearance, it seemed as though his brother-in-law's animosity reduced to a slow boil. Now that the two men were alone, that animosity was slowly heating up again.

"What are your intentions toward Kaoru-dono?" Kenshin asked outright, hoping to end their meeting sooner, rather than later.

"Right to the point, aren't you, Battousai?"

"I know you didn't come here looking for me," Kenshin said. "So you must have come looking for her."

"My intentions toward Kamiya are purely romantic in nature," came the matter-of-fact response. "I want her."

Kenshin was taken aback by his forthrightness. His surprise must have shown on his face because Enishi immediately began to smirk.

"Have you informed her of your intentions?"

A lazy smile spread across Enishi's face, "Not in so many words."

The corners of Kenshin's lips dipped downward. The developing frown was barely noticeable, but Enishi saw it and his smugness grew as a result.

"You're asking questions as though I'm courting your daughter, Battousai."

Kenshin ignored his comment. If he let every barb hook him then Enishi would have full control over the conversation. "Are you using her to get to me?"

"I was initially," he replied. "And if her rejection of you causes you more suffering, I won't complain."

"Are you saying you're not using her now?"

Echoes of sparring floated into the house from the dojo. Kaoru's distinct voice was heard as she instructed the boy. Kenshin peered at Enishi, waiting for his answer. His brother-in-law said nothing, choosing instead the path of the enigmatic.

Undeterred, Kenshin continued. "If you came here because you wish to replace Tomoe with Kaoru-dono then you will leave more empty than when you arrived."

Again, Enishi said nothing, but his smirk dissolved into a thin line.

"Kaoru-dono is young and often times naïve because of her youth, but she is not a fool. She will notice if you are dishonest about your feelings."

Enishi clenched his jaw, "You're quite the expert on Kamiya Kaoru, aren't you?"

"We have been through a lot together," Kenshin said quietly. "She's important to me."

Virulence filled the air, causing the hair on the back of Kenshin's neck to stand on end. Light seemed to shift and bend around Enishi's face and shoulders, creating shadows that should not exist. It was as though his flesh bunched and rose to form cords and tendons across the surface of his skin. Kenshin blinked, and the strange effect was gone.

"I'm not going to give her up, Battousai," Enishi sneered, voice cold and hard. "I can't have any peace without her. The only reason I haven't tried to kill you yet is because it would hurt Kamiya and nee-san would disapprove."

Subtle movement caught Kenshin's eye. He glanced at Enishi's right hand and saw his fingers trembling. He recognized the unconscious jittering. As a hitokiri, Kenshin felt that same prompting to reach for his weapon and begin slashing when the enemy drew near.

Enishi's self-control was to be commended. He _was_ changing. Kenshin felt that with every fiber of his being. And the reason he was changing was directly due to Kaoru's influence.

"Your life has no value to me," Enishi continued. "You took nee-san... if you try to take her..." The struggle within stole his voice before he could finish. Teeth clenched and shoulders bunched, he once again fought for control.

"You're in love with her, aren't you?" Kenshin breathed, already certain that he was.

• • •

Sounds of shouting and chaos erupted from the dojo. Both men disregarded the commotion at first. Something important had been confessed and the moment was still too thick with the admission to allow for distraction. But as the volume increased and the tone grew suddenly caustic, they could no longer focus on their conversation.

The boy was the first to leave the dojo. Arms stiff, he marched toward the front gate. Kamiya called to him and Enishi heard the tears in her voice. She chased after him and managed to catch his arm. The boy pulled against her, but Kamiya kept her grip on his wrist. She said something to him, but Enishi couldn't hear. He strained his ears and focused on her lips, but couldn't make out her words.

Wrenching his arm from her grasp, the boy stared up at her with outrage. Kamiya said something else, and Yahiko lunged at her. His hands connected with her hips and he pushed her backwards, causing her to fall hard on her backside.

"Yahiko!" Battousai shouted, immediately rising to his feet.

Enishi didn't bother to say anything at all. With long, purposeful strides, he made his way toward Kamiya. Confusion and shock were etched across the boy's face as he stared at his fallen sensei. Dazed, Yahiko didn't notice Enishi until he stood directly in his line of sight. Flinching out of his stupor, the boy swallowed hard. Watery brown eyes slowly lifted to gaze at the man he blamed for all of his life's ills. A flurry of emotion raced across his face. Tears trailing down his cheeks, Yahiko turned on his heel and ran.

"Yahiko," Kamiya yelled, voice breaking. "Wait!"

He didn't. Before she could call out to him again, the boy had already disappeared beyond the wall that surrounded the Kamiya homestead. Satisfied that the boy was gone, Enishi turned his attention to her. Soft, muffled sounds of anguish shook her shoulders as she wept into her hands.

Enishi kneeled before her. Each choked sob twisted his insides into knots as distressed eyes searched her form. He needed to comfort her... _wanted_ to comfort her... but didn't know how.

"Are you injured, Kaoru-dono?" Battousai asked. So intent on Kamiya, Enishi didn't even notice his approach.

"O-of... of course not," she hiccupped.

"What happened?"

The tears came harder and Enishi cursed Battousai's presence.

"He... he _hates_ me!"

The rurouni frowned and shook his head. "He doesn't—"

"He does!" Kamiya glared at him as tears ran freely down her cheeks. Her resolve crumbled, and once again she buried her face in her hands.

Battousai gave his brother-in-law a meaningful look as Kamiya cried convulsively. The unspoken communication left Enishi with the distinct impression that Battousai _wanted_ him to comfort her. The strangeness of the moment was pushed aside by the sounds of lament. Unwilling to think of anything else but the young woman still on the ground, Enishi gave her his full attention.

"I'll go talk to him, Kaoru-dono," Himura said, voice tender. "But please believe me... whatever Yahiko said, he didn't mean it."

Kamiya shook her head stubbornly, but couldn't find her voice to speak.

A sigh. "I'll talk to Yahiko," he repeated. "Everything will be fine, Kaoru-dono."

As Battousai made his way toward the gate, Enishi reached out and gently brushed Kamiya's temple. The contact prompted her to slowly pull her hands from her face. She sniffled, and peered at him with bright, bloodshot eyes.

Not knowing what else to say, Enishi whispered her name. Kamiya's lower lip trembled as fresh tears dripped from her chin. He touched her again, brushing calloused fingers across her cheeks in an attempt to wipe away her sorrow. The gesture pulled her to him and she fell against his chest. Body shaking as she cried, Enishi wrapped his arms around her and held her tight.


	19. chapter eighteen :: sheath

**Catharsis**

**sheath  
**.:chapter eighteen:.

* * *

Back braced against a tree and the breeze pulling at his hair, Yahiko struggled against the tide of emotion threatening to turn him into a blubbering mess. Chin quivering and eyes squeezed shut, he willed himself not to cry. The effort was working until the apex of their argument replayed in his mind.

_'How can you defend him?!' He demanded. 'He's a murderer!'_

_Kaoru shook her head, 'He's changing Yahiko. Why can't you see that?'_

_'All I see is you fawning all over him!'_

_'I don't fawn—'_

_'You do! I can't stand to be around you when you're like that. It's disgusting! It's like you're 'in-love' with him or something!'_

_'...'_

_'Wait a minute... you're not, right?! Tell me you're not—'_

_'Yahiko...'_

_'TELL ME YOU'RE NOT!'_

"Yahiko," a concerned voice said, startling the boy from his thoughts. Pride stung, he quickly rubbed his eyes with his sleeve in the vain attempt to hide his tears.

"Go away," the boy said, voice shaky.

Kenshin didn't budge, nor did he respond.

Yahiko glowered. "I said, go away!"

The rurouni waited patiently, quietly. When it was clear to Yahiko that Kenshin wasn't going anywhere, he put on his best defensive front. "I'm not going to apologize to her. You can't make me."

"I didn't come out here to 'make' you do anything," the rurouni said, speaking for the first time.

Yahiko gave him a skeptical look. "Did she send you out here?"

"No, I came on my own." Concern lifted the corners of his mouth into a kind smile, "I thought you might want to talk."

"All of the sudden you're worried about me? After being gone for almost two months and hardly talking to either one of us before that." Yahiko snorted, "Right."

That took the smile from Kenshin's face. His suddenly doleful expression made Yahiko feel satisfied that he scored a hit on the rurouni.

"Kaoru-dono wanted something I couldn't give her," he said quietly, as though admitting something deeply personal. "If I had stayed, I would have hurt her more. And you as well. I couldn't live with myself if I brought you more pain."

Tears long dry, Yahiko felt cheeky. "Sounds like a cop-out to me."

Kenshin let the dig slide. "I regret hurting both of you. More than anything, I regret not being there when you both needed me the most... but I don't regret my decision to become rurouni again. Kaoru-dono is young and just beginning her life. If I had stayed, I would have pulled her down with me."

"If you had stayed, Enishi wouldn't be here and Buso wouldn't be acting so weird all the time."

Kenshin nodded, "That may be true." He peered at the boy intently, "That's what bothers you the most, isn't it? Kaoru-dono likes having Enishi around."

The conversation once again centered on him, Yahiko glared.

"You two were arguing about Enishi, weren't you?"

The boy snorted and looked away.

"Did you tell Kaoru-dono that you _'_hate' her?"

"... yes."

Kenshin frowned, "Why?"

"I don't know. I was just... mad."

The rurouni waited for Yahiko to continue, but he refused to elaborate.

"She really believes that you hate her now," he said. "She was sobbing when I left. What you said hurt her a great deal."

Yahiko's shoulders twitched ever so slightly, but still he remained quiet. Seconds ticked by and the boy found himself staring at a pair of pebbles next to his foot. He pushed one around with his toe and hoped Kenshin would let the subject die.

"Why did you push her?"

The question lifted Yahiko's eyes until he returned the rurouni's steady gaze. "I didn't mean to push her like... _that._"

"I know you didn't," Kenshin said. "But losing control over your emotions like that isn't how a samurai should behave. You realize that as her student, you committed insubordination with your disrespect, don't you?"

Yahiko nodded, but he still didn't want to apologize. Nor was he ready to face her just yet... Enishi especially. The last person he wanted to see was _that_ guy.

"When I first met Enishi, he bit my hand," Kenshin said.

Yahiko blinked and gave him a queer look. The rurouni merely smiled at his confusion.

"Enishi was about your age then," he continued. "I didn't know he was Tomoe's brother. I was playing with some of the neighbor children and I saw him watching us from a good distance away. I thought he was just being shy, so I invited him to join us. He bit me instead." Kenshin smirked and lifted his hand for emphasis, "Hurt, too."

"So he's been psychotic from birth," Yahiko commented under his breath. "I could have told you that."

"Enishi had a tough time as a child," Kenshin said, pretending not to hear the boy's sarcastic remark. "That's why he was so attached to Tomoe. She was more like a mother to him than a sister. When he witnessed her death, it destroyed him."

Yahiko scowled and looked away, feigning disinterest.

"And he was _your_ age," Kenshin said, pushing his point. "Maybe a little younger."

The boy shrugged, "Yeah, but I never tried to kill anyone."

"What would have happened to you had you remained with the yakuza?"

"I never would have killed anyone," Yahiko reiterated.

"That may be," Kenshin agreed, "but you and I both know what the yakuza does and is capable of. If you had resisted, they would have killed you. If you had complied, you would have been their dog."

Yahiko sighed and maintained his stubborn exterior.

"People change, Yahiko," he said, locking the boy's eyes with his own. "I changed from a hitokiri into a rurouni. Sanosuke gave up the name 'Zanza' and stopped making a living as a fighter for hire. You are no longer a pit-pocket, but a samurai. The man who came to Tokyo over a year ago demanding Jinchuu is not the same man living in the dojo. His eyes are different. He wanted to attack me while we were talking this morning, but he didn't. He's changing, and the person helping him to change is Kaoru-dono."

Silence. Yahiko tore his eyes away and stared at his feet for several moments.

"You don't believe he's a threat to anyone, do you?"

"No. At least not to Kaoru-dono," Kenshin said, answering the boy's soft-spoken question. "If he could control his hatred enough not to raise a sword against me, then I doubt he's a danger to anyone right now."

A pregnant pause filled the air. Then the rurouni added, "I think Enishi is in a transition period right now. He's still fighting his demons, so he's not totally free... but he's getting there."

"Because of Kaoru?" Yahiko asked.

"Mmm."

"And that's why you think the two of them together is a good thing, right?"

Kenshin pressed his lips together thoughtfully. "Yes."

"I _don't,_" Yahiko stared up at Kenshin, eyes heavy with grief. "I hate him! And Kaoru is an idiot!! I can't... " He trailed off when tears threatened to spill over. Clenching his fists to his sides, he dug his nails into his palms. "If Enishi stays, I don't think I can live there anymore..."

• • •

Yahiko didn't know what to expect when he and Kenshin returned to the dojo. Guilt haunted him even as frustration throbbed just under his skin. Talking to Kenshin made him feel a little better, but that didn't change his deeper problems. The most poisonous being his on-going grudge against Enishi.

He meant what he said though. Now that it was apparent that Kenshin wasn't going to force Enishi to leave, Yahiko didn't think he could stand to live under the same roof as him.

Crossing the yard toward the house, Yahiko looked up to see Kaoru waiting for him. Clothes dusty and hair disheveled, from a distance she looked as though she just woke up. The closer Yahiko drew toward her, the more clearly he saw the tear stains on her cheeks and puffiness around her eyes.

Kenshin's words floated to the forefront of his mind. Kaoru's unkempt appearance was due to his disrespect and lack of control over his emotions. She should be angry at him, but it was clear that she wasn't. Instead she seemed grieved_._ He didn't think it was possible for her too look more upset than she did the night Kenshin left for Kyoto. Seeing that expression, feeling her anxiety... at that moment, Yahiko got a small taste of just how important he was to his sensei.

Stopping directly in front of her, Yahiko didn't say a word. Nor could be maintain eye contact with her. He felt three pairs of eyes watching him intently, but the way Kaoru looked at him troubled him the most. As her eyes searched his form, Yahiko felt welts of guilt mar his soul.

Yahiko bit his lip. _'Did I hurt her that much..?'_

Then, he swallowed his pride. Or at least, a chunk of it. "I'm... sorry, Kaoru," Yahiko automatically bent at the waist to offer an apologetic bow.

Silence for a moment, then a muffled sniffle. When he felt her hand squeeze his shoulder he looked up. Fighting tears and wearing a trembling smile, Yahiko got the distinct impression that she was about to hug him... in front of _everyone_. Being hugged by a weepy girl would be embarrassing. Pride suddenly sweeping through him, he scowled.

"Jeez, Buso," he said. "What are you bawlin' for—"

A sudden _'THWAK!'_ and Yahiko was rubbing the top of his head.

"Hey! What'd you do that for?!"

"Don't... call me _that,_" her voice choked out, barely able to form the words. She cleared her throat and attempted to square her shoulders, but found the action impossible while trying to fight tears. "500 swings..!"

Still rubbing his head, Yahiko peered at his sensei. Kaoru struggled hard against her emotions while trying to appear stern. The dichotomy that warred across her face made him cringe.

And suddenly, it hit him. When he apologized and bowed, Yahiko didn't quite understand the reason for her tears. He insulted her out of habit and realized too late he was only pouring salt on her wounds. Just as he had returned to his cocky disposition, Kaoru, too, once again became his master rather than concerned, older sister.

Retrieving his shinai, Yahiko began the exercise without complaint.

• • •

Nostalgia lifted the corners of his lips as he closed his eyes and listened. The gentle thud of a knife blade hitting a wood cutting board tickled his ears as Kaoru painstakingly sliced vegetables in the kitchen. Each cut was slow and careful. By the sounds alone, Kenshin knew she was working hard to avoid making any mistakes. Normally she would cut the vegetables too quickly, causing the pieces to be uneven. When she cooked the ingredients, some slices would burn while others only got lukewarm.

_'But she tries hard,'_ Kenshin thought, feeling strangely homesick. It was ironic that Kaoru could be so skilled with a sword, even if it was a bokken, and yet have so much trouble slicing vegetables in uniform size. It was a quirk he always thought was rather cute.

Kenshin left his seat overlooking the yard and moved to stand in the doorway of the kitchen. Wearing a kappougi to protect her kimono from stains, she began slicing the last diakon. Beside her sat a simmering pot of wakame. She was making miso, and so far, she was doing everything exactly right. He watched her for several moments, considering how he should speak to her about Yahiko. If he told her everything the boy said, she would easily take it the wrong way and end up feeling even more hurt. Kenshin didn't want that.

A feeling of being watched settled around him and Kenshin immediately glanced at his left. With an open book sitting in his lap, Enishi stared at the rurouni. Kenshin offered a disarming smile while Enishi simply pushed his glasses higher on the bridge of his nose.

_'Guess now is as good a time as any to speak to Kaoru-dono,'_ Kenshin thought with a sigh. _'Enishi is going to be annoyed no matter what I do.'_

"Kaoru-dono," Kenshin said, causing the girl to stutter in her work.

She glanced over her shoulder, "Yes?"

Kenshin smiled in a friendly manner, "May I speak to you for a moment?"

Kaoru paused and bit her lip. "Can it wait?" She asked, and nodded toward the pot of wakame. "I might ruin something if I leave."

"I can slice the rest of the vegetables and we can talk in here, if you'd like," he offered.

She considered it for a moment and then stood aside, opening the cutting board to him. "Alright. You slice and I'll stir..?"

He smiled, nodded, and then stepped forward.

"I'm finished with the diakon, but I still need the onions and carrots done." She handed him the knife.

Kenshin immediately went to work on the onions as Kaoru added the diakon to the miso.

"Thank you for going after Yahiko today, Kenshin," she said as she stirred.

"I'm glad to help."

Kenshin finished one onion and reached for another. "Kaoru-dono..."

"Hmm?"

"I was thinking," he said, making his first cut. "Perhaps it might be a good idea for me to take Yahiko with me when I leave again."

She blinked and turned to look at him fully. "Wh... what?" When the rurouni didn't immediately answer, the color drained from her face, "_Why?_"

Kenshin considered his next words carefully. Based on his conversation with Enishi, it was clear Kaoru was still unaware of how deeply he felt for her. And although he wasn't standing in the room with them, it was very likely that he was listening to their conversation.

"Kaoru-dono, Yahiko is having a difficult time right now," Kenshin said, careful not to mention Enishi outright. "I believe it would help ease some of the tension if he spent some time away and gained some perspective."

"..."

"And maturity," Kenshin added, then handed her the finished onions. She seemed at a loss of what to do with them until he pointed at the pot behind her.

Kaoru dumped the onions into the miso with a despondent air. She stirred the soup slowly, methodically. Kenshin watched her out of the corners of his eyes and knew she was taking the suggestion the wrong way.

"Kaoru-dono..?"

"Did he say he wanted to go with you?" She asked without looking at him.

"No," was the quick response. "He doesn't know anything about it. I wanted to talk to you first and find out how you feel."

Kaoru gave a languid nod.

"If you think it's a bad idea, then I will withdraw the suggestion—"

"Did he say he wanted to leave... _me?_" She asked, almost timidly.

Kenshin didn't want to tell her the truth of what Yahiko actually said. The wounds from this morning were far too fresh... she wouldn't understand. But if he lied outright, she would know.

"He doesn't _want_ to leave you, Kaoru-dono," he said, adding emphasis where necessary to reassure her heart. "But he isn't ready to accept Enishi's presence here yet, either."

Kaoru gave a slight nod, "I... see."

She took the carrots from him and stirred them into the miso. The smells filling the kitchen made his stomach growl. He hadn't planned on eating dinner at the house. It seemed unreasonable to him to expect Enishi's tolerance of his presence to last through a meal. His brother-in-law needed a break, so Kenshin thought it wise to leave for a few hours. Besides, he had yet to stop by the Akebeko and say hello.

"Where will you go?" Kaoru asked, disturbing his thoughts.

The rurouni tilted his head as he considered. "I haven't decided. Perhaps he would like to visit Aizu? Or, we could head north... toward Niigata?"

Kaoru nodded. "I'm sure he wouldn't mind seeing Megumi." She stared into the swirling pot of miso, "How long?"

"That depends on you. He's _your_ student."

Sighing, she turned away from the cooking meal and leaned against the counter. An introspective look filled her eyes.

"Kaoru-dono," Kenshin said, seeing her uncertainly. "If you don't want him to go..."

"Do you really think it would help him?"

"The only thing that would satisfy Yahiko right now is for Enishi to leave," Kenshin pitched his voice so only Kaoru could hear. "But I believe sending him away would be a mistake... you know that too, don't you?"

She nodded.

"I can't think of any alternative, can you?" Kenshin asked. "Yahiko isn't ready to give up his anger and distrust yet. I think if he were to have a break from the tension, he would be able to see the situation more clearly."

Kaoru chewed her lip thoughtfully. "What you're saying," she began quietly. "It makes sense... but..."

"Kaoru-dono," Kenshin said when her voice trailed off. "If you don't want him to leave, you can say no. The decision is yours to make."

"No, it isn't," she said, her voice taking on a hint of resolution. She paused, and gathered her courage. Lifting her eyes to meet his, Kaoru continued, "The best thing to do now is to let him decide, don't you think?"

She didn't wait for Kenshin to answer, "If Yahiko wants to go, he has my permission to do so."

• • •

With spring bleeding into summer, the mornings lost their comfortable coolness quickly. The bastard and the brat were planning to leave early, long before noon. To say he was looking forward to their departure was to underestimate his desire to be free of their company. Kamiya didn't seem bothered about Battousai leaving again, but she was uncomfortable about letting the boy go. Enishi suspected she was worried the brat wouldn't come back. While such a prospect made him smile vindictively, the idea did the exact opposite for Kamiya. For that reason, he hoped her suspicions proved untrue.

Rising from his futon, Enishi stretched and turned, working sinews still tense from another night spent wide awake and anxious. Clearing his mind and anticipating a day free of Battousai, Enishi left his room. Kamiya's door opened a few seconds after he stepped into the hall. He said nothing, waiting instead for her to look up and see him. She didn't. Head down and attention clearly elsewhere, Kamiya walked directly into him.

"Oh!" She stepped back, a blush already coloring her cheeks. "Sorry."

The first thing Enishi noticed about her was that she was wearing her hair differently. Rather than having it in a high ponytail, she only had the front section of her hair pulled back, leaving the rest down around her shoulders. A few locks of hair not yet long enough to be secured hung around her face. With so much of her bangs away from her brow, Kamiya's eyes suddenly seemed quite large and bright.

"I guess I'm still a little groggy," she said apologetically, pushing a lock behind her ear. It fell forward again seconds later.

Enishi wanted to push the lock away from her brow for her, but didn't.

"Your hair is different," he said, stating the obvious.

Kamiya touched the top of her head and fingered the tie holding her hair in place. "Yeah," her blushed deepened. "I got tired of having to deal with my bangs in my eyes all the time... but they aren't long enough yet to pull back into a ponytail, so..."

Enishi's eyes moved over her face, soaking in her features. His scrutiny made her uncomfortable, but she didn't look away. Unable to resist any longer, he pushed the stubborn lock away from her forehead and smiled, "I like it."

They found Yahiko and Battousai already up when they entered the sitting room. The brat was triple-checking his pack as Battousai sat by and sipped his tea.

Traditional morning greetings were exchanged with sickening politeness. Then the small talk between Battousai and Kamiya began. Through it all, Enishi noticed the unusual expression on the brat's face as he eyed his sensei. When she excused herself to go fix them some food for the road, Enishi took the opportunity to comment on the way the boy was looking at her.

"Not so 'buso' is she, brat?"

Yahiko glared as Battousai chuckled into his tea cup. Then silence. Battousai kept his attention fixed on a squirrel climbing a tree in the yard and the boy resumed his packing. Enishi watched Yahiko take a mental inventory of the items he was taking with him. For being a major pain in the ass, the brat was surprisingly organized for a kid his age. Enishi had been like that, too.

The parallels between himself and the brat were almost eerie. Enishi first felt empathy toward the boy almost a year ago when he demanded Kamiya be released from her island prison. Since his return to Tokyo, those parallels became increasingly glaring. Almost to the point of being funny.

_'Damn, I was a rotten kid.'_ The image of Tomoe filled his mind, _'I'm sorry, nee-san. I didn't mean to cause you so much heartache.'_

The image of her in his mind shimmered and changed. It reformed and his heart stuttered. She was smiling. For the first time since her death, she was smiling for _him_.

Jinchuu whirled through his mind. From the snowy morning of its bloody conception... to the months spent drinking muddy water and decaying flesh on the streets of Shanghai... to his barbaric rise to the top of the Chinese Syndicate. Every moment, every action... no matter how horrible... led him here. To this place. To _her_...

• • •

Kaoru was doing well. Kenshin had expected her to become teary, but she didn't. She hugged the boy fondly and gave him some last minute instructions on what skills he should work on while he was gone. Yahiko rolled his eyes but agreed to do as she asked. Then she hugged him again.

To his surprise, Enishi gave the boy a respectful nod. It wasn't much of a gesture, but it was more courteous acknowledgment than Kenshin expected to see out of him.

When it came time to say goodbye to the rurouni, Kaoru hesitated. Kenshin knew she was struggling with what would be appropriate at that juncture. It made for a few uncomfortable seconds with Enishi standing right next to her.

Kenshin smiled and promised once again to make sure Yahiko kept up with his exercises. And he reiterated his intention to return in three weeks (four at the most). The interaction felt terribly impersonal, so at the last moment, Kenshin stepped forward and hugged her. The embrace was brief, but sincere. Before Kenshin released her from his arms, he gently whispered the truth he wanted her to understand.

"You are to Enishi what Tomoe was to Battousai."

* * *

**AN:** Okay, some terms may need to be defined.

kappougi - it's basically an apron designed to fit over a kimono

wakame - seaweed

daikon - Japanese radish

I'm going out of town in two weeks. I'm working to get the next chapter done before I go, but if that doesn't happen, the next update will be in three weeks.

Thanks again for all the great reviews, support, feedback and criticism! You guys are great!!


	20. chapter nineteen :: grace

**Catharsis**

**grace**  
.:chapter nineteen:.

* * *

Shadows and light scurried over everything, mocking her anxiety and inability to sleep fitfully. Fingers gently rubbed her brow, trying in vain to ease her headache. Back stiff, eyes painfully dry and stomach churning uneasily, Kaoru rolled onto her side and curled into a fetal position.

She squeezed her eyes shut. Sleep only flirted with her. She only enjoyed a brief few moments of rest during the night. As desperate as she was to fall unconscious, her troubled heart wouldn't let her.

'_He hates me..._'

If she could just get to sleep she could have a sliver of peace... a moment free of uncertainty...

'_Kenshin said he doesn't, but Yahiko agreed to leave so easily. What if he decides not to come back..?_'

Sighing, she stretched out her legs and rolled over onto her back. There was a spot on the ceiling she never noticed before until tonight. It was a minor flaw, nothing more than a bump. The light of the gibbous moon exaggerated it with creeping shadows, making it appear larger than it was.

_'I hate this. Why did it have to be this way? What did I do wrong..?' _

Birds were beginning to chirp outside. Morning would soon come, but the night felt eternal.

'_I could stay in bed all day if I want. Without Yahiko, I have no students to train..._'

Her lips quirked upward cynically.

'_Enishi probably wouldn't let me sleep that long... or would he?_'

Never did she expect everything to blow up like they did. And she certainly never imagined that Yahiko would be so repulsed by her that he would want to leave. Angry, yes... but repulsed?

'_Have I sacrificed too much for helping Enishi? What if Yahiko was right about him? But if I'm being manipulated, Kenshin would have noticed... that can't be it..._

She chewed her lip, biting hard.

'_But... why did Enishi come here? He never asked for my help... he just showed up. Did he want for this to happen?' _

_'He said Jinchuu is over... and Kenshin said I am to Enishi what Tomoe was to Battousai... but is that really true? Does Enishi think of me like that, too?_'

'_Asking him to stay... that wasn't a mistake... was it?_'

Teeth cut into the tender flesh of her bottom lip, drawing blood.

'_If Yahiko turns out to be right, I'll have betrayed his trust for nothing..._'

The angry words of her student floated to the forefront of her mind, _'You ARE in love with him! Look at you! You can't deny it!!'_

Kaoru flinched at the memory. Regret made her stomach quiver uncomfortably.

'_I should have denied it... but... I couldn't...'_

The window began to glow from the rays of a newly risen sun.

_'What's wrong with me? I couldn't say anything! Why couldn't I deny it..!?'_

The sun crawled higher into the sky, blotting out her last opportunity to get some much needed rest with light of a new day. The worry she let fester over night slowly began to transform into frustration.

_'I'm such an idiot! By not saying anything I just condemned myself. That's why he told me he hates me! And then I had to go and make it worse by telling him that Enishi wasn't the same person as he was before... Is it any wonder that he pushed me?!_'

Kenshin's parting words echoed in her mind, _'You are to Enishi what Tomoe was to Battousai.' _

'_If that's true,' _Kaoru told herself, fighting for understanding, _'then Yahiko _can't _be right... __Kenshin would have seen through it if Enishi was using me. Kenshin wouldn't have left me alone with Enishi if he didn't believe that he was changing..._'

'_If Kenshin trusts Enishi then there's nothing wrong with me trusting him, too... right?_'

Kaoru sat up in her futon and tried to rub the stiffness out of her neck.

'_But still... is Enishi worth losing Yahiko's trust over? __Kenshin has never lied to me, but I have to know...' _

She shrugged out of her night clothes and began to dress in one of her more tattered hakamas.

_'Why did Enishi come here? What does he want from me?_'

Kaoru quietly left her room, careful not to wake Enishi as she padded past his door. Dew sparkled in the early morning light as she made her way to the dojo. Yahiko was supposed to scrub the training hall floors once a week and today was the day the chore was expected to be done.

Taking up the task, Kaoru went to work.

• • •

Soft footsteps moved past his door, alerting him to her wakefulness. Eyes cracked open a sliver. He was surprised to realize how early it was, Kamiya wasn't one to rise with the sun.

Curious, Enishi followed after her, careful to not alert her to his presence. On her knees, she carefully polished the floor, working her way from the far side of the dojo toward the main entrance. He knew instinctively that she was troubled. She barely spoke after the brat left and she retired for the evening in a funk. Even as she cleaned, she seemed distressed.

Deciding to confront her, he waited for her to notice him by standing just inside the doorway. It took her a few minutes, but she finally caught sight of his feet and paused. Tired, bloodshot eyes regarded him.

"You're up early," he said.

"I couldn't sleep."

He noted the shadows under her eyes and the tiny cut that marred her lower lip. As he stared at her mouth, she began to chew again, threatening to reopen the small wound.

"You're worried about the boy, aren't you?"

"Whatever gave you that idea?" She asked dryly.

Enishi frowned, not appreciating her grumpiness. "The brat will be back before you know it."

She glowered at his use of the word 'brat.'

"Trust me," he said. "He'll come back. You know he will."

A 'hmmn' was her only response, then she lowered her eyes to look at the floor. Shoulders tense and fingers tightly clenching the rag in her hand, Kaoru said nothing more. Enishi lifted a quizzical brow as he watched her. There was more she wanted to say, more she wanted to express...

A smudge caught her attention and she busied herself by rubbing it away. "Why are you here, Enishi?" She asked without looking at him.

"I heard you get up—"

"No," she interrupted. Sitting back on her feet, she peered up at him. "Why did you come to the dojo when Jinchuu was over?"

Enishi tilted his head toward her, searching her face curiously.

'_Is this why you're so grumpy this morning? You spent the night thinking about me..?_' He smiled, '_You should know the answer to that already, Kamiya._'

"I came here for you," he said.

The forward simplicity of his reply didn't appear to be quite what she expected. She flinched a little from the truth, but still dug for more.

"Why?"

Enishi closed some of the distance between them and knelt down beside her. Peering into her eyes, he asked, "Why do you think?"

"Jinchuu—"

"No," he said, cutting her off. His interruption earned him a miffed look, but he softened it by touching her hand tenderly. The contact succeeded in distracting her. Giving her hand a fond squeeze, understanding flooded his mind. Her questions, her ill temper, her insomnia... what he thought should be obvious was confusing to her.

But inexperience was like that. It often led to second guesses and doubts, which ultimately prevented a person from seeing the obvious. He would have to help her put the puzzle pieces together.

He would have to _tell_ her.

"Jinchuu was always a means to an end," he explained, expression softening. "It is a path. Battousai murdering my sister was the start of that path."

Her mouth opened to speak, but he didn't give her a chance to form any words.

"The ending I originally hoped for was eternal suffering for Battousai," he continued. "I have since learned that the path of Jinchuu was never meant to lead to that."

Kamiya's brows creased. "Then you did come here because of Jinchuu."

"My conception of Jinchuu drove me to you."

"You're going in circles," she said testily. "I don't understand—"

"You are the end, Kamiya. Jinchuu led me to you."

Stillness filled the dojo. His answer surprised her and confusion continued to stubbornly cling to her.

"Wh... what do you mean..? I'm the end..?"

Enishi shifted his position and sat cross-legged on the floor. Wasn't he being clear? Why didn't she understand? She understood his Jinchuu better than anyone else alive. She witnessed the depth of his pain for Tomoe. He went to her after he finished reading nee-san's diary. He sought her out, not so much out of anger, but out of his deep-seeded need for solace. A solace he instinctively knew only _she_ could give him.

He still remembered the swirl of emotion that threatened to choke him when Kamiya reached out to comfort him that night. The compassion was so foreign to him that he recoiled, but she wouldn't let him. And her words... he never forgot what she said to him, '_It's okay. You know the truth now, Enishi. You can make her smile again..._'

"Yahiko is a lot like me when I was his age," he said, breaking the silence. She blinked bewilderedly at him, but Enishi continued. "I sometimes treated my nee-san worse than the way Yahiko treated you. I never realized how rotten I was to her until I thought about it yesterday, but when I regretted it, I saw her face change. I saw the whole of Jinchuu in my mind and I finally understood what nee-san wants for me."

Her eyes widened as Kamiya's lips parted soundlessly.

"Jinchuu led me to you," he repeated. "I am where I am supposed to be."

Enishi waited for her response with eyes and ears trained solely on her. He confessed his heart to her, now it was her turn. The seconds felt cruel as he waited for her to speak.

'_She's inexperienced, but she isn't stupid_,' he thought, studying her. '_She has to understand..._'

"Kamiya."

She blinked, and looked up at him.

"The other day, while Battousai and I were talking," he said, changing the focus of the conversation, "you and the boy were arguing about me, weren't you?"

The sudden shift threw her off guard. She hesitated and frowned.

"What did you say to the boy that made him push you?" He clarified, getting straight to the heart of the matter.

"Did you... _hear_ us?" She asked.

A brow raised at her question. "No."

The look of relief that softened her features was difficult to miss.

"You said something to Yahiko just before he pushed you," he prodded once more. "What did you say?"

She fumbled for several moments, obviously searching for the right words. Cheeks already rosy from his earlier confession only grew darker. She glanced up at him with an uneasy countenance. Patience looked back at her and she cringed. Everything about her screamed the desire to discontinue the conversation right then and there, but Enishi wasn't going to grant her that kindness. Especially when she was acting so flustered about it.

He knew there was something worth seeking within her. He could see it building over the last few weeks. Battousai's return, her defense of him, her argument with the boy... none of those things would have happened if there wasn't some sort of attachment for him within her heart.

"You may as well tell me," he said.

"It was just a silly argument—"

"Was it?"

"Yes," she insisted a little too abruptly. "It was about nothing."

Enishi narrowed his eyes, his doubt obvious.

"Really," she reiterated.

"I don't believe you."

A forced smugness lifted her chin. She was trying to regain control over the conversation by playing his game. It was a good attempt, but it would ultimately fail.

"You're acting like a child," he said.

Kamiya glared and Enishi looked on impassively. He knew saying that would irk her. If he got her temper going, she would be more likely to confess just out of spite.

"I'm not 'acting like a child,'" she said, voice edgy. When Enishi didn't retract his statement, she went a step further and let her grumpiness take charge, "And it's none of your business _what_ Yahiko said to me!"

"Ah, so now it's none of my business," he said, annoyance beginning to seep into his voice for the first time. "I find that hard to believe."

Kamiya huffed and looked away. She was still trying to avoid the question. Enishi simply wouldn't have it. When he asked a question, he expected an answer. That was the way things were done.

The part of his psyche that managed to claw its way to the top of the Chinese Syndicate wanted to demand an answer out of her... but he knew doing so would be a mistake. She wasn't one of his subordinates to be dominated. If he tried to bully her, it would backfire. Her personality was far too strong. But knowing that didn't change the need growing inside him. The desire to know the secrets of her heart was near unbearable.

He was in a conundrum. Enishi needed Kamiya. It was a truth he felt in his gut for months, but only recently did it solidify in his mind. He needed to be with her and be accepted by her. The need was so strong, it frightened him if he thought about it too much. But that was the way it was. He could no more change that fact than he could change his dependence on oxygen. He had no other choice. He had to know her heart.

"Alright then," he said, setting up the bait. "How about I tell you what I overheard the brat say to Battousai when they thought I was out of earshot? Would you like that?"

It was a bluff, but it certainly caught her attention. Her body language answered more questions than she seemed willing to voice, in spite of trying to act aloof.

He leaned toward her, invading her personal space. "Tell me, Kamiya," Enishi said, voice low.

The color drained from her face, leaving lips deadly pale. His nearness made her squirm, but he didn't pull away. Her eyes avoiding his, Enishi could almost hear her heart pounding hard in her chest. Her fingers clenched into a tight fist and he knew she still wasn't going to answer him.

'_So stubborn..._'

"He pushed you for the same reason you refuse to speak now," Enishi concluded. The twitch of her shoulder's confirmed his ascertain even before she spoke.

"I... I couldn't answer him," Kaoru said, sotto voce.

"Why?"

She peered down at her hands, uncurling her fists and rubbing her palms on the fabric of her hakama. "Because," she whispered, finally looking up at him. "I don't know the answer myself."

• • •

His eyes held hers for what felt like an hour of seconds. The longing she saw there made her mouth go dry and stomach quiver. Such intensity... she didn't know how long she could avoid answering his questions. She wasn't prepared for this confrontation, but knew Enishi wasn't about to let her get up and leave.

And after what he said about her... she doubted her conscience would _let_ her leave.

"I think you do know the answer," he said, his proximity swallowing her up.

"I don't—"

She stopped speaking when he cupped her chin, his thumb gently pressing against her lips. The sudden caress startled her. Only moments ago he was annoyed with her... and now...

Kaoru resisted the heady excitement that shot down her spine from his touch. She tried not to think of the feel of his hand... warm and strong... and the way he looked at her... with such fervor...

He was going to kiss her. She was certain of it.

More than that, she wanted him to.

Enishi sensed her desire and the corner of his lip curled upward. Thumb moving over her mouth, he traced the curve of her lips. The sensation sent shivers racing along her nerves.

"What did he say to you?"

The feel of Enishi's thumb moving across her jaw and the silkiness of his voice was distracting. He was waiting for her to speak, watching her with such depth... she couldn't think clearly enough to figure out a way to avoid answering him.

"He... he asked me..." Chest thundered from the pounding of her heart, she swallowed hard, "if I was... in love... with... _you._"

His thumb paused and he caught her up in his eyes. "Are you?"

"I don't—"

Enishi's fingers tightened around her chin, killing her voice in her throat. Tilting her face upward, he claimed her lips with his. The kiss was soft and delicate, almost chaste. He pulled back and gazed deeply into her eyes, searching her. Kaoru didn't freeze up nor shrink back. Body perfectly still, she returned his gaze with half-laden eyes.

"Kaoru," he said, voice soft and earnest.

It was the first time he ever called her by her given name. Flutters of excitement shimmied up her spine.

"You know the answer," he continued, his fingers still curled around her chin and jaw. "What are you afraid of? What do you want?"

Kaoru hesitated in her answer, unsure how to respond.

"Would you feel better if I left the dojo?"

The thought of him leaving felt like a hit to the gut. "No..!"

Enishi raised a brow.

"I don't want you to leave," she said, feeling the blood rush to her face in anticipation for her next words. "But I still can't... I don't know..."

Embarrassment forced her eyes to look away. '_I must sound like an idiot..._'

She sucked in a deep breath and gathered her courage. "I... I didn't want to feel this way. I just wanted to be your friend... but you're more than that."

Eyes still downcast, Kaoru touched his hand that still cupped her chin. His fingers grasped hers and held tight. "I'm sorry if I'm not making any sense," she said, still unable to lift her eyes to his. "I was up all night thinking about what Kenshin said and about Yahiko leaving and what I felt about you—"

"And what did Battousai say?"

A self-conscious smile lifted her features. "When he hugged me yesterday, he said, 'You are to Enishi what Tomoe was to Battousai.' That's what kept me up for most of the night."

Enishi said nothing for several moments as he considered. His silence peaked her curiosity and she ventured a look up. When her eyes met his, he finally spoke.

"It's true," he said. "I never thought about it like that, but it's true." Enishi's lips lifted into a small smile as he brought his hands to her face one more.

"You are my sheath," he whispered, just before kissing her again.

The contact didn't quite take her by surprise, but inexperience still caused her muscles to tighten up. If Enishi minded, he gave no indication. Patiently, he pressed his mouth against hers and waited for her to relax. The moment she did, his lips parted and the kiss began to deepen.

Allowing instinct to run its course, Kaoru's body leaned forward. Her unconscious actions won her the reward she sought. Arms pulled her closer as tingles of excitement stimulated her nerves. He pulled back from her to allow them both a moment to catch their breath and Kaoru couldn't help but smile.

• • •

EPILOGUE

It was an attractive weapon. It felt good in his hand. Solid. Well made... though, it was a little heavier than he liked. Still, it would be a nice addition to his collection. A highlight, in fact, considering it was his first Colt .45 Single Action Army revolver. Direct from America... and American made guns were his favorite.

Lian entered as Shing carefully polished the nickel finish of the barrel. He didn't look up from his work to acknowledge his arrival. Head bowed, he worked the barrel until it gleamed.

"What is the message?" Shing finally asked as he inspected his work.

"There is none, sir."

Shing paused and lifted his eyes. "None?"

"Yukishiro hasn't made contact with our agents."

A frustrated sigh and Shing finally turned his attention away from the gun completely. "Hasn't he finished yet? This quest of his is costing us too much. How does he expect business to proceed?"

Wisely, Lian remained quiet.

"Is he still there? In Tokyo?"

"Yes, sir."

Shing clenched his jaw. If Yukishiro hadn't killed Heishin, the organization probably wouldn't be in the crisis currently threatening to topple it. A leader was needed. One that instilled fear in those lusting for power while still maintaining a cool head for business and the well being of the organization. Yukishiro had served perfectly in that role. Everyone feared him. But with his absence over the last several months, a power struggle was beginning to take shape. If the leadership within the Syndicate wasn't forcefully reestablished, and soon, things would quickly turn bloody and millions of dollars in profit and resources would be lost.

"Lian, I want you to personally go to Tokyo."

"Sir?"

"I will send an entourage with you," Shing continued. "You must contact Yukishiro directly and bring him back here. I will have a message for you to relay to him. If he fails to heed it, you may do whatever you deem necessary to bring him here. We can no longer wait for him to satisfy his personal vendetta."

**:. _fin_ ****.: ****  
**

* * *

**AN:** Yep. That's right. This fic is FINISHED! WOOOOOOT!!

That epilogue there... yeah. It came about because of an email conversation I had with Thunk a couple of weeks ago. She asked me: _"Is there really only one chapter left?!"_ — and I said: _"What else is there for me to do after they get together? I don't do the happily ever after stuff. That's not my thing... I like angst!"_

And then inspiration had to come and bite me in the ass. I thought, _"Wait a minute... would the Chinese Syndicate be cool with Enishi shacking up with Kaoru in Tokyo and essentially ditching his responsibilities as leader? Sure, he was planning to hand everything over to Heishin, but Heishin is dead..." _

Of course, my immediate answer to that question was: _"No, they wouldn't be cool with that." _

I emailed that idea to Thunk and she jumped all over it. And wouldn't you know it? That stupid idea wouldn't leave me the hell alone! So I had to write that epilogue before I even had half the fic done! That's right! I had the damn epilogue done before I even left for vacation! eyeroll

So, there ya have it. There _might_ be a sequel... or there might not. I don't know. The idea is floating around in my head, but I haven't put an outline together or anything like that. Any thoughts? Is the idea valid enough to warrant a sequel? Be aware, I don't write lemons. People have asked for some hot Enishi/Kaoru action, some of you have even assumed that this chapter would be lemony because Enishi and Kaoru are alone now... but I just don't do lemons. Therefore, if you're thinking a sequel would be good because you might see a lemon, you're setting yourself up for disappointment.

In any case, this fic is done. Save for the revisions I'll be making to some of the earlier chapters, we've come to the end. It was a fun ride. I enjoyed writing it. I've always wanted to write an Enishi/Kaoru fic and Thunk was a huge help to me getting this thing off the ground. I owe her a lot of thanks... but more than that, I owe all of you a lot of thanks. All of your feedback, suggestions, support, ideas, comments, email... they were great. You guys kept me going. It made me feel good to know people were reading this thing and liking it. Every review and email made my day. Thank you!

One last thing, Irka-chan has been drawing fanart for this fic. Awesome fanart. I'm talking kickass, awesome, to-die-for fanart. Wanna see?? There's a link in my bio where you can see it for yourself...


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